Look at Me

Their weekend getaway ended rather quickly. Rachel made a discovery about herself. Once her virginity was taken, and she already experienced what it feels like having an intercourse, she can't seem to let go of it yet.

They made love several more times during that weekend. They both seemed to can't get enough of each other. Viktor made sure that he was wearing protection in the next few times they made love. He did not want to make the same mistake as before. Although he got over it, thinking that because she was a virgin and that was her first time, she wouldn't get pregnant that easily. Right? He thought wrong.

About a month later, life goes on as usual for both of them. Rachel was studying geomatics and was finding things easy since she worked hard. Viktor, on the other hand, was studying engineering. He, too, was finding things easy but not because he worked hard but because since very young, he was exposed to engineering through his father and their company. During the course of the month, they had made love with the two of them enjoying it.

Everything was fine except for Rachel's nausea which she'd been having for quite some time now. It was a saturday night and Rachel was laying on the couch, watching tv, while feeling not particularly well.

"Hey Rach, feeling better?" said Ashley as she entered through the door.

"Not better, but definitely not worse. By the way, how was your date with what's his name... Matt?"

"His name is Mark ans it was not a date since there were like three other people in there and we were all doing our report. Yeah, definitely not a date" She said that without knowing that the intended audience was not there because Rachel ran into the bathroom... to puke?

"Rach, are you okay? You are starting to scare me now......"

"I took some medicine today, I don't really know why it is not kicking in yet"

"What about I make some chicken noodle soup? That always cheer you up"

"Sure! That would be great Ash!" said Rachel while slowly regaining her composure.

"Wait Rach, something just came into my mind... your... nausea seemed a bit, oh I don't know... weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm no doctor, but don't you think it is not as simple as we think it is?"

Rachel started to get worried. What is Ashley talking about? "Just spit it out, what do you think?

"Maybe you are pregnant?" By then Rachel thought her lungs ran out of air.

"That's crazy!" She said trying to hide the fear because it might just be true. Every time she and Viktor made love, she knew he always wear a condom. However, she didn't really pay attention about it thinking that it was HIS job and responsibility to do it. Now that she thought about it, is she really sure that he wore condom all the time? No.

Ashley drove her to the nearest pharmacy and they bought three pregnancy test kit from three different brands to make sure everything is right. When they got home, she read the instructions and carefully followed it, She took the three test all at once. after minutes which seemed like years, the results came. All three of them are positive.

She felt like she had just been crushed... literally. She felt like everything is going down on her. What about her dreams? her future and her career?. She always dreamed of becoming either an urban planner or a surveyor. Would the baby affect that? Would she have to stop from going to school? What would her parents say? Her siblings? She respected them so much doesn't want to disappoint them. Who would would want to disappoint their parents? Glenn, her Dad and Cheryl, her Mom, had been wonderful parents to her and she could not ask for more. And now this. She didn't realize but she was already crying a river.

She had always been a strong girl. Growing up, she liked to face the problem, dead on. That's what she live by. This is actually the first time in her life that she thought she was never gonna survive. She had to.

She stepped out of the bathroom, crying. "Ashley. I don't know what to do!" she cried, almost shouting.

"I take it you really are pregnant?" She said as she comforted her friend.

"Yes."

"Do you know who the father is?" She did not even had to ask who the father was. It was obvious that it was Viktor.

"I've only been with Viktor. Ever." She was still sobbing.

"Oh Rachel. I know you're sad right now. I totally get that. But look on the positive things."

"There could be no possible good things from this!"

"At least you're on legal age. Other people get pregnant way younger. At least you know who the father is. I mean, other pregnant teens don't. Most importantly, you have a loving family. they would support you no matter what. I am here for you too. Trust me, you'll get through this." That's what Rachel needed right now, a very comforting pep talk from her friend.

"Thank you Ash. You're the best. I don't think I'll ever survive this night without you. Thanks for your suggestion too. If it weren't for you, I would still think I have nausea and I think the sooner I learned about my pregnancy, the better. Thank you so so much!" She hugged Ashley while Ashley wa spatting her back.

"It's ok, Rach. Everything will turn out fine."

"I hope so." Because of Ashley's words of encouragement, she was starting to feel better. However, it was still a long way for her to be back on her strong self again.

The night ended with Rachel feeling defeated and lost. She doesn't know what to do yet. Ashley was right there beside her, comforting her.

She really could not sleep that night. How could she after everything that has happened? So all she did was torture herself more and dissect the situation. What about Viktor? She hadn't think of that before. What would his family say. What would he say? Considering that he only consider their relationship as "having fun", what would he think?

Suddenly she remembered a time when they were just hanging out and swapping stories. This one guy from his country club who was also rich, was tried to trapped into marriage by his gold-digger girlfriend. She said that he must marry her. Then the guy found out that his girlfriend purposely stopped taking birth control and poked holes into the condoms before they use them. Unbelievable! He also found out the his girlfriend was eager to marry him so she could have access to his wealth. She thinks she could do so by having a child with him. she thought wrong because he broke up with her, AND took her to court and got full custody of their child. She was now childless and single AND would probably find it hard to find a job since of all his connections.

How does this relate to Rachel? What if he did the same to her? Oh she would never ever let any one take away her baby! Although she was still sad and shocked because of the pregnancy, she already love her child, even though she only learned about them a few hours ago. Just to get this straight, she loves the child, her baby, just not the pregnancy itself and all the consequences that goes with it. Should she tell him? She hoped her would never see her a s gold-digger. In fact, every time he buys her something nice and expensive like a necklace or any accessories, she would always say no but he would just insist. She would, then, plead to buy something cheaper as she was not comfortable with accessories as expensive as their rent. What if he thinks she's a gold-digger too and she's after his money?

It was extra scary for Rachel because Viktor had told her many times that he had his fair share of gold-diggers before he met her. They all seemed to like him for what he is worth and for what he can give them. They don't really like the real him.

Lots of what ifs, but one thing for sure, her "really like" for him is starting to feel like the L word. Rachel must think immediately and correctly. She had a plan. She would ask him if he would consider making their relationship serious. If he said yes and take an oath of his undying love for her, that would be great. He loves her, she loves him.... wait, did she just admitted that? They both love each other and they have a baby together, no big deal. She would tell him about the baby and it would be fine, no problem at all. They would help each other out.

If he say no.... well then, she would just think of the gold-digger theory and oh well. she would not tell him. He would just brand her as gold-digger and ... take her baby away? Besides, if he say no, he does not deserve to know about the baby at all since he was all just "for fun" and she was no more than a fling to him. She was just a toy.

That's it. She's made her decision. She would ask him tomorrow, and she would act upon whatever his answer is.

She still couldn't sleep. She was thinking about the baby's gender. She always wanted a son. She was hoping for a son. Either way, girl or boy, she would love her child. That's what she thought about for few more moments until sleep finally invaded her.