Look at Me

Sunday morning and Rachel was over it now. Well, not entirely, but the sleep was definitely a big help with her thinking. She was refreshed. She was full of energy, enthusiasm and confidence.

"Hey, Rach. Feeling better now?"

"Yes. You know what they say, there's nothing a good night's sleep won't do or something like that." Rachel actually managed a smile. Well that's a good sign.

"Come here and join me for breakfast. You have gotta eat! I was actually thinking on why were you loosing weight these the past month. I thought you were just stressed or maybe doing it on purpose."

"Turns out, I was pregnant."

"Yeah, so you have got to eat! Aren't pregnant woman supposed to eat a lot? I mean I'm not a nurse but..." Ashley was giving her some ideas. That was a big help.

"Ohh I think I've heard about that. Pregnant women are supossed to get big or something because we're eating for two, right?

"Eating for two? I'm not sure about that. I mean they're still little... They won't need that much. Whatever, you have to make a doctor's appointment for that."

"Yeah, I'll make the call later." They ended their conversation about their knowledge about pregnancy. Or the lack of knowledge, in this case.

They continued eating for a bit. Ashley spoke again. This time, she was more serious than before. "Seriously, Rach, what are you gonna do next?"

"I just thought about it and I will talk to him."

"By 'talk to him', do you mean you're going to tell him?" Ashley asked.

"Well, not right away. I still have to talk to him about some other... stuff." She was embarrassed to say that she was just a fling and that she still need to talk to him about that.

"When are you going to talk to him?"

"Today. I'll call him and meet with him personally." she explained.

"Ok. I hope your little talk would turn out ok. He seems like he's a nice guy."

"I would hope so." she quietly thought to herself.

After breakfast and throwing up the breakfast, she took every second she need to find the courage to talk to Viktor.

She dialed his number and waited for a few second, which seems like an eternity, for him to answer. "Hi babe, why so early?" She was still gripping the fact the he was calling her babe. She is still in awe by it.

"Hi Viktor, good morning," Viktor sensed the change in her tone. Every time she called him or they talked, she was always bubbly and full of life. Even when she is mad, he still can sense her perky self. Today, it was totally different. "uhmm........ it is.. ok.. to uhmm... talk later today?"

"What's the matter? You can tell me now." He said still trying to figure out what's wrong.

"I mean... I don't want to say it, or to ask it rather, on the phone. It's not something to talk about over the phone."

"What is it? Did something happen?"

"No."

"You needed anything? I could give them to you. Just say it." She wished he did not think of her as after the physical things he could give her. She was not a gold digger.

"No. I don't need anything, Viktor. All I need is to talk to you in person." she explained to him while trying to be calm and composed.

"Where do you wanna meet, babe?" He was starting to feel something was up.

"Let's say Denny's at Lake Street.... in about an hour?" Whew, she was still talking and not crying or shouting, she deserve a pat on the back for that.

"Ok, see then Rachel."

After an hour or so, they were now seated face to face in the corner booth of the restaurant. Well this is the moment of truth, Rachel. You got his. She thought, giving herself a last minute pep talk.

"There's something wrong, isn't there?" He smirked at her. If he only knew... that annoying but cute smirk would be wiped off from his face.

"Yeah, I need to ask you something"

"Ask away, sure."

"First of all, this is serious, and from the way you talk, it seems like you are treating it like it's nothing." She was definitely getting mad now. He can't even take her seriously?

"I want to know if you would consider taking things with me into the serious kind... I don't want just a fling anymore. I want the real thing. I want us to be really together."

He smiled at her without saying anything. He just smiled at her!

"Ha! you are funny sometimes, babe."

"I. am. serious. Viktor. Can't you just grow up and actually think about it?!"

"We've already had this conversation, Rachel. I am not having it again. From the beginning, I've already told you what my limits are and what I can and can't offer. I just don't do serious relationships, you know that." his tone is deathly serious.

"Just think about it, please!" She slightly shouted, making an older couple a few booths away look at them.

"What would you demand from me next? Marriage? Babies? Living together? You know I'm not the serious kind... so what are we doing for Thanksgiving? It's coming up in three weeks. Want to finally meet my family?" Just like that, he changed the topic. How could he do that. how could he just easily change a topic when it's obvious the she was serious about it and want to talk it through. He was obviously against the serious relationship so she guessed letting him know about the baby is no too. His lost.

"Here, I'll tell you what I am not going to do on Thanksgiving... I'm not gonna be with you." And stormed off out of Denny's. She didn't even bother about paying for her drink. Viktor is a billionaire, she was sure he can pay for a strawberry lemonade.

"Woah. What just happened?" She wanted to talk to him and then just leave like that? They've already talked about the status of their relationship and he was crystal clear about it. For sure it's not just what she was upset about but she didn't freaking tell him. She could have at least talk to him about it. Oh well, she must be on her period. He quickly thought to himself and half smiling. Little did he know, she won't be getting her period for another 8 months.

While driving on the way home, Rachel was tearing up. Damn these hormones. Maybe she was just really sad. A combination of both? She, once again, started to create a plan in her head. Obviously, if she was keeping the baby secret from him, she has to be away from him. Not seeing him everyday and losing contact is not enough. Knowing Viktor, she knew if he really wanted to see her, he would, and what would happened if he sees the baby bump on her tummy or the changes in her body. Besides, getting out of his way was nearly impossible because they go to the same university for crying out loud. Not to mention their common friends.

She has to be away. Far from Minneapolis, a different town, where she could still continue her studies. Think Rachel, think! She can't move back home with her parents in Anoka. She could but since Anoka is just outside St.Paul-Minneapolis, the nearest university where she could finish geomatics is still UM.

Big sister to the rescue! She could move to Milwaukee with her big sister Stephanie. She could finish her geomatics in University of Wisconsin. she knew her sister would not say no to her. Maybe she could live with her for a while with her two kids and husband until she can find her own place. Milwaukee is perfect. Not too close Viktor and close enough to home.

She just hoped UM would let her move at this time of the semester and let her transfer all the credits. They have to.

Suddenly, she realized she hadn't told anyone about the baby except for Ashley. She had to tell her parents. When she got home, she immediately called her mom and dad. Surprisingly, she wasn't scared. After her conversation with Viktor, she just proved that she is stronger than she thought she was. She told them about the baby and the possible move to Milwaukee.

They were supportive of her, though definitely, there was a sadness in their voice. Her father was not as welcoming to the idea as her mom. They know who Viktor is but they haven't met him yet. They were disappointed in him. Nevertheless, they still wanted to support her with everything she needs and she was thankful for that.

Finally, she told her best friend and roommate about her plan on moving. Thankfully, Ashley was supportive and understood her. She said she could always come back and live with her again whenever she's ready to face Viktor again.