Falling in Love Will Kill You

Jack remembered everything. He remembered what he ate for dinner on a random date last month, he remembered what he wore to school on the first day of eighth grade, and he remembered what the mean kids at his school had said to him in fourth grade. Okay, maybe he didn’t remember everything, because just this morning he had forgotten to pack his tooth brush. He remembered mostly everything, though, especially things that had impacted him on a large scale. That’s probably why it isn’t surprising that he hadn’t forgotten about Alex.

As their car pulled up in front of their hotel, Jack made a mental note to go out and buy a tooth brush sometime later on. He was twenty one now, and still went on vacation with his family every summer. The boy wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to spend time with his family and to go back to the place where he spent quite a bit of his childhood, or if it was because he was still looking for Alex. Although it seemed illogical, and frankly stupid, Jack still kept an eye out for the other boy every time he went on vacation. It’d been six years since he’d last heard from Alex, but he didn’t want to give up hope, he couldn’t let himself. No one had ever made him feel like Alex did, and he’d passed up so many relationship opportunities because his mind kept running back to Alex. That’s why he still kept the other boy close to his heart and in his mind constantly, because he didn’t want the last six years of his life to go to waste. That, and also because he missed Alex.

Throwing his bag onto the couch in their room, Jack decided that he’d go to the beach, because he didn’t want to spend his entire vacation moping. It should be about himself, too, he thought. As he made his way to the beach, he thought about how much had changed since he was a kid. Some things were obvious, like technology, and society’s expectations. Other things, though, he wasn’t so sure. He wondered if a total stranger half-way across the world would care about how the benches at his favourite DQ in the entire world were gone, and that the metal slide on the beach that would burn too hot to touch, but would be used nonetheless, had vanished one year in between summers. He wondered if anyone one else who had even seen these things remembered, never mind cared.

After accidentally walking too far down the road, Jack made his way back up the beach again, and then decided to go and lay in the sand. Not the dry sand, though, the wet sand. He’d never been a fan of dry sand. A laugh coming from down the lake distracted him from the water and his toes, and he looked up to see two kids pushing each other off of the platform that was still afloat several meters into the lake. Jack remembered when that had been him, and then he decided that he didn’t like remembering. Sure, it was useful daily tasks, like remembering tooth brushes, but it sure as hell sucked most of the time.

Pulling him out of his thoughts, Jack heard another laugh, this time from up the beach, and also slightly more familiar. He turned his head around and then quickly turned it back again, because he didn’t want the man to see him staring, his jaw on the ground. That was no doubt, most definitely Alex. Same blonde hair, same cute smile, but a lot more muscular than when he was fifteen, which made sense. Alex was holding hands with a little girl, who seemed to be about seven. Curiosity won Jack over, and he stood up, pretending to head back to his hotel, when he was really looking in Alex’s direction. Jack noticed that he was also with a girl, who had long brown hair and a smile almost as nice as Alex’s. Wait, had Alex had a kid? The child looked a bit too old to be his, but she could’ve been adopted, or maybe she was the girl’s from a previous relationship. Jack watched as the little girl giggled and pulled Alex towards the water with her, the other woman watching, a carefree smile appearing on her face. Realizing that he had been loitering much too long, Jack hurried back to the hotel, his mind spinning in circles.

Deciding that he’d needed more time to think, Jack found himself in a grocery store, looking for a new tooth brush. As he browsed the aisles, he internally screamed at himself for leaving the beach, when the boy he’d been searching for for six years was right there. He didn’t think that when he’d finally found Alex again, he’d be so… occupied. He thought Alex would have still been hung up on him, too, but he was obviously mistaken. The other boy seemed to have been going along just fine without him, and as much as it flooded him with jealousy, he was happy for Alex, too. Continuing on through the aisles and deciding to buy a snack or something, Jack weaved his way through the shelves. As he looked down a particular aisle, he saw who he was pretty sure was Alex. Jack backed up a bit, and took a moment to weigh his options. He could either continue on and pretend like nothing happened, walk down the aisle and start a conversation with the boy, or walk down the aisle and wait for Alex to notice him. Choosing the latter option, Jack faked his way down the aisle, pretending to look at various types of bread as he approached Alex. Just as he began to realize how stupid he was being, Jack heard a faint, “Hey,” coming from behind him. Turning around, he finally looked the other boy in the eye, a small, “Hi,” falling from his lips.

“Jack?” Alex said, his eyes instantly lighting up.

“Ye-“, Jack began, only to be cut off by Alex, who quickly enveloped him in a hug.

After he got over the initial shock, Jack realized what was happening, and quickly, snuggled his face into Alex’s hair. After a few moments, the other boy pulled back, words instantly spewing from his mouth.

“I’msosorryIleftyouwithouttellingyoufirstItriedtogettoyoubutmyparentswereforcingmetoleaveandI’vebeenlookingforyoueversinceohmygo-“

Jack laughed, interrupting him.

“Hey, hey, slow down. We’ve got all day. Let’s finish up here and then take a walk, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied, blushing slightly, and then ducking his head and leading the way to the check out.

“Wait, so you mean to tell me, you’ve been looking for me this entire time, too?”

“YES! That’s what I’ve been repeating, at your request, for the last half hour.” Alex smiled softly, rolling his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I just like hearing it. It’s nice to know that while I was thinking about you, you were thinking about me, too.” Jack grinned, his arm finding his way around Alex’s waist.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s cool how this place was all about spending time with people you’re here with and and nature for us, but I really wish we had some way of staying connected, because the last few years really blew.”

“Agreed. Hey, wait a minute,” Jack began, “What about the little girl and the other lady you were with at the beach? Who are they, then?”

“Whoa, you saw me and you didn’t say hi? What if we never saw each other again?!”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, it’s just that I felt really put off all of a sudden, and-“

“Hey, relax, don’t worry about it. I was joking. Anyways, remember how I came here last time with my aunt and uncle?” Alex started, and Jack nodded in response, “Well, they passed away a couple years ago, and now I’m Lilly’s legal guardian. The other girl, Gabriella, is a friend I made a couple months after I moved here. I told her all about you, we hang out and stuff, and she looks after Lilly sometimes.”

“Oh,” Jack muttered in reply, slightly embarrassed of his assumptions.

“Yep!” Alex sang in reply, resting his head on Jack’s shoulder and looking up at him.

Realizing that thinking things over has gotten him nowhere in life, and that he’s lost pretty much everything that he hasn’t seized right away, Jack leant down and pressed his lips to Alex’s, without even thinking about thinking a second thought.