Status: a re-upload. currently active.
Shades of Gray
[eight]
"Woah, hey, kiddo," I find myself saying to the tiny brunette attempting to climb on top of my wardrobe from the too-high dorm bed. "You're gonna fall and get an owie."
Marie sticks her small tongue out at me, continuing to peel the navy-blue extra long twin sized sheets off of my bed, the opposite task I spent about ten precious minutes doing for room inspection.
"Is that a baby laugh I hear?" McCormick Hall's first floor RA, Ryan, pokes his head in the door that isn't allowed to close during daily hours, due to students coming home drunk (honestly, we're not freshman anymore), grinning widely at the little girl now biting my pillow.
"No, it was mine," I say sarcastically, but lightly, taking another sip of the badly-tasting orange flavored Rockstar in my hand.
"No babies in the dorm, Alexander," Ryan says cooly. "You know that."
"That's an odd rule," I throw back, "considering Brendon has like two dogs in his room. Not to mention that creepy ass parrot."
Ryan flushes. "I was not aware of that."
"Nah, you're just interested in sleeping with the guy."
His cheeks darken to a deeper shade of red as he moves to hand Marie a dollar, bidding me well and a "give the kid back before lights out."
I roll my eyes as Marie's weird potty-watch thing goes off, making me aware that it's 2:35 pm, meaning I've wasted about twenty minutes playing with the girl when I could have been studying. I sigh. Finals. They're not even a month away, yet.
After unsuccessfully trying to get Marie to pee in the toilet, I mentally tell myself to kick Josh in the balls or something later, because as cute as his niece is, I really don't have time to watch a one and a half year old kid.
I send him a text with the caution of me reaching my fifty-eighth hour awake, and do you really want me driving your sister's daughter to tumbling classes in this state? He responds almost immediately, saying he's due to arrive in less than half an hour.
***
"You're flirting with me," I state consciously, mini-bottle of JD insecurely squeezed between my forefinger and thumb. I'm not drunk, far from it, but it seems the petite redhead in front of me is.
"It's a free country," she grins slyly, leaning against the wooden post from the bar countertop.
"That it is," I throw back. From the corner of my eye I see Josh tap his watch, fucking asshole, reminding me it's time for the stupid meds.
"We could get out of here," the redhead says again, gulping down a glass of water. Lightweight, I note. She's actually here with a purpose besides getting flat out wasted.
I give her a nod as Josh slides up besides me, throwing an arm around my neck and smiling this cheery smile, gazing at the dance floor, as if being the designated driver is the best thing that's ever happened to him.
"Gay?" the girl inquires, fetching another ice water in sobering attempts.
"No genitals for me, thanks," I shrug, flicking my gaze to Lisa and Dan, somewhere on the dance floor. She's shoving her ass into his crotch- they're basically fucking with clothes on. She did that to me, first time we met. I find it rather disgusting.
Redhead takes out a cigarette and lights it, but doesn't smoke it, just lets it hang out the side of her mouth, infesting the air more than it should her lungs.
"Asexual," she guesses, eyeing me up and down. "Asexual, atheist, vegan, I reckon."
I give a light laugh, feeling winded by the smoke I'm inhaling. It's not a regular cigarette, I note.
"Not vegan. Strong believer in the Easter stories."
"Oh?" she raises her eyebrow, and Josh taps me on the arm, along with a hard pinch.
I nod at her in acknowledgement, silent goodbye when Josh pulls my arm, just as a small brunette shows up and bounces upon her arm.
"I was making friends," I grumble. "Thought you liked it when I made friends."
"Time for meds, Alex," Josh kind of sings, pulling out a dark brown bottle. He shakes it, unscrewing the cap, pouring out two pills. He hands me a second mini-bottle of JD.
"Are you trying to get me to sleep or kill me?" I ask uncertainly, swallowing the pills with the final swig of my open bottle, taking the other from Josh's and popping the lid, cutting my finger slightly.
"Drink up, baby," Josh grins, pill-bottle back in his pocket. He flashes me his digital watch, 11:56 PM bright in the dark building. "You should be drowsy in about half an hour. Let me round up Max and John-" He disappears from my line of sight.
***
"Tired, yet?"
From my spot on my bed, I stare at Josh with wide eyes, ones I want to close so bad but it kind of feels like they're stuck open and left to burn. My eyes are teary, but not in the kind of way where it just drips when you cry, it's more like hot acidic liquid pouring out of my eyes.
"Head hurts," I comment, flipping through some book titled Don't Send a Resume, apparently a good addition to my business classes.
Fuck business. I should become a music producer or something.
"Out of pills," Franceschi says.
"That's fantastic," I say with little enthusiasm, putting my head into the pillow. My words are muffled. "Schedule me a new appointment for tomorrow. Tell them we can cross Lorazepam off the list."
"That was last week," Josh looks at the bottle, reading the label. "This week you've got Zolpidem with a side of Anoquans. I'm not sure that's safe." He shrugs, peeling off his shirt. "Ask your boyfriend."
"Jack's not my boyfriend," I protest, flipping through my book. My voice is starting to slur even though I have gotten enough practice hiding my tiredness, it is getting to the point where I need to lock myself up in this room. Lock myself up and never come out, not until I've slipped and passed out cold in the shower or something. Then I have a good hour. And then I am awake again.
The bruise on the back of my head throbs as I hit my sixty-seventh hour awake, round three since what I now call The Sleeping Incident at Jack's house. Or apartment. Whatever. One would think I'd try and sleep again, but believe me, I can't. Not if I want sleep paralysis a la carte anyways.
College bodies are used to all-nighters, I grin to myself. But not ones like these.
I sit up in my bed, flash a cocky smile at Josh, who sips his coffee, determined to stay awake with me for the next twenty four hours.
It's 12:32 AM.
Let the games begin.
Marie sticks her small tongue out at me, continuing to peel the navy-blue extra long twin sized sheets off of my bed, the opposite task I spent about ten precious minutes doing for room inspection.
"Is that a baby laugh I hear?" McCormick Hall's first floor RA, Ryan, pokes his head in the door that isn't allowed to close during daily hours, due to students coming home drunk (honestly, we're not freshman anymore), grinning widely at the little girl now biting my pillow.
"No, it was mine," I say sarcastically, but lightly, taking another sip of the badly-tasting orange flavored Rockstar in my hand.
"No babies in the dorm, Alexander," Ryan says cooly. "You know that."
"That's an odd rule," I throw back, "considering Brendon has like two dogs in his room. Not to mention that creepy ass parrot."
Ryan flushes. "I was not aware of that."
"Nah, you're just interested in sleeping with the guy."
His cheeks darken to a deeper shade of red as he moves to hand Marie a dollar, bidding me well and a "give the kid back before lights out."
I roll my eyes as Marie's weird potty-watch thing goes off, making me aware that it's 2:35 pm, meaning I've wasted about twenty minutes playing with the girl when I could have been studying. I sigh. Finals. They're not even a month away, yet.
After unsuccessfully trying to get Marie to pee in the toilet, I mentally tell myself to kick Josh in the balls or something later, because as cute as his niece is, I really don't have time to watch a one and a half year old kid.
I send him a text with the caution of me reaching my fifty-eighth hour awake, and do you really want me driving your sister's daughter to tumbling classes in this state? He responds almost immediately, saying he's due to arrive in less than half an hour.
***
"You're flirting with me," I state consciously, mini-bottle of JD insecurely squeezed between my forefinger and thumb. I'm not drunk, far from it, but it seems the petite redhead in front of me is.
"It's a free country," she grins slyly, leaning against the wooden post from the bar countertop.
"That it is," I throw back. From the corner of my eye I see Josh tap his watch, fucking asshole, reminding me it's time for the stupid meds.
"We could get out of here," the redhead says again, gulping down a glass of water. Lightweight, I note. She's actually here with a purpose besides getting flat out wasted.
I give her a nod as Josh slides up besides me, throwing an arm around my neck and smiling this cheery smile, gazing at the dance floor, as if being the designated driver is the best thing that's ever happened to him.
"Gay?" the girl inquires, fetching another ice water in sobering attempts.
"No genitals for me, thanks," I shrug, flicking my gaze to Lisa and Dan, somewhere on the dance floor. She's shoving her ass into his crotch- they're basically fucking with clothes on. She did that to me, first time we met. I find it rather disgusting.
Redhead takes out a cigarette and lights it, but doesn't smoke it, just lets it hang out the side of her mouth, infesting the air more than it should her lungs.
"Asexual," she guesses, eyeing me up and down. "Asexual, atheist, vegan, I reckon."
I give a light laugh, feeling winded by the smoke I'm inhaling. It's not a regular cigarette, I note.
"Not vegan. Strong believer in the Easter stories."
"Oh?" she raises her eyebrow, and Josh taps me on the arm, along with a hard pinch.
I nod at her in acknowledgement, silent goodbye when Josh pulls my arm, just as a small brunette shows up and bounces upon her arm.
"I was making friends," I grumble. "Thought you liked it when I made friends."
"Time for meds, Alex," Josh kind of sings, pulling out a dark brown bottle. He shakes it, unscrewing the cap, pouring out two pills. He hands me a second mini-bottle of JD.
"Are you trying to get me to sleep or kill me?" I ask uncertainly, swallowing the pills with the final swig of my open bottle, taking the other from Josh's and popping the lid, cutting my finger slightly.
"Drink up, baby," Josh grins, pill-bottle back in his pocket. He flashes me his digital watch, 11:56 PM bright in the dark building. "You should be drowsy in about half an hour. Let me round up Max and John-" He disappears from my line of sight.
***
"Tired, yet?"
From my spot on my bed, I stare at Josh with wide eyes, ones I want to close so bad but it kind of feels like they're stuck open and left to burn. My eyes are teary, but not in the kind of way where it just drips when you cry, it's more like hot acidic liquid pouring out of my eyes.
"Head hurts," I comment, flipping through some book titled Don't Send a Resume, apparently a good addition to my business classes.
Fuck business. I should become a music producer or something.
"Out of pills," Franceschi says.
"That's fantastic," I say with little enthusiasm, putting my head into the pillow. My words are muffled. "Schedule me a new appointment for tomorrow. Tell them we can cross Lorazepam off the list."
"That was last week," Josh looks at the bottle, reading the label. "This week you've got Zolpidem with a side of Anoquans. I'm not sure that's safe." He shrugs, peeling off his shirt. "Ask your boyfriend."
"Jack's not my boyfriend," I protest, flipping through my book. My voice is starting to slur even though I have gotten enough practice hiding my tiredness, it is getting to the point where I need to lock myself up in this room. Lock myself up and never come out, not until I've slipped and passed out cold in the shower or something. Then I have a good hour. And then I am awake again.
The bruise on the back of my head throbs as I hit my sixty-seventh hour awake, round three since what I now call The Sleeping Incident at Jack's house. Or apartment. Whatever. One would think I'd try and sleep again, but believe me, I can't. Not if I want sleep paralysis a la carte anyways.
College bodies are used to all-nighters, I grin to myself. But not ones like these.
I sit up in my bed, flash a cocky smile at Josh, who sips his coffee, determined to stay awake with me for the next twenty four hours.
It's 12:32 AM.
Let the games begin.
♠ ♠ ♠
smh i got my laptop back sort of ???? ahahaha so hopefully i can get these done easier. this was kind of a filler chapter, but hey hey the real fun effects of not sleeping are coming up. but they're not actually fun. don't not sleep guys, seriously. you'll regret it.school started, so that's cool. i'm a little busy with an all-AP schedule, but i think i'll manage. thank you for the lovely comments, i appreciate them more than you will ever know.