The Incorrect Definition of Love

I know I'm better than this...I need to focus.

"Fuck, I can't write this piece!" I yelled at Danny.
"Calm down dude! If you can't do it right now...just go rest at home," he offered. I looked at him worriedly but he insisted.

I walked out of the studio and walked down the street and headed for home. Danielle was still allowing me to stay at her place...I liked it though, it was nice to see the family she had formed and I wished I could be like her. No longer did I feel jealousy, I felt good about having a family member who had achieved what so many ladies in this world wished for.

I walked into the house and found a bottle from a couple days ago on a table. It wasn't empty but I placed it once more in the fridge. I walked to the couch and laid down...

I want to drink some more, but I'm taking steps to learn self-control. Plus, Danielle and Matty are strict with their rules. No drugs or alcohol, and if I drink I have to be moderate around them. A strict scolding both of them is hell!

I suddenly felt my phone vibrate...I looked at the screen and was surprised to see the name. It had been a while, and I still felt guilt with this person.

I wondered if Danielle was home, "Danielle!? Matty!?" I question if they were home. They weren't!

I quickly answered the phone.
"Hello!" I said a bit to enthusiastically.
"You seem happy to hear me," he replied.
"Mike, I-" he then cut me off.
"You left last time. Without saying a fucking word," he scoffed.

I stood silent on the couch for a second and took a deep breath.
"Danielle believes that we're not ready for each other," I answered. I heard him take a deep breath.

"So...I heard your dad," he paused.
"Yah, he's...he- He's in a better place now," I answered.
"Mhm, well...can I see you? I feel that...I- I won't lie I'm angered. Pissed off, for a second I thought everything was perfect, that you and I were together...happy, and out of no where you fucking leave!" His last words were with anger.

"Look Mike, maybe if you wouldn't stop being an angry bitch you would ear me out! I didn't leave on my own will! Matty and Danielle pulled me out of there, and I think it was for the best because now I realize you don't listen and all we lead to are fights!" I yelled back. There was a pause, and then suddenly behind me I heard a sound.

Danielle and Matty were behind me...fuck!

"Can I take that real quick?" Matty said. I din't hesitate, and I handed him the phone. I thought he was going to hang up the phone, but he took it and went to the next room.

"Danielle...I-" she then cut me off.
"I can see that both of you want to be together but have difficulty communicating. I know I separated you, but now you see why, right?" she asked kindly. She was getting somewhere...

"What is Matty doing?" I asked her.
"You'll see, but right now answer me something. Do you love Mike?" she asked. I looked at her, her brown warm eyes.

"I do, but-" she cut me off once more.
"But, what? You question your love!?" She said, this question hit me deep.

"I love Mike a lot, immensely. I don't even know how to explain what I feel. Every moment I wish to be with him and find our happiness. But...But, I'm afraid he doesn't want me or understand my needs. I know I sound selfish, but all this time with him, I've been client and allows him to do anything with me even against me!" I was now breaking down in tears...

I felt her pat my back. I heard Matty walk in and walking over to Danielle.

"Plan's in motion," he whispered.
"Plan?" I questioned.
"Yup, we have something planned. For the sake of your marriage," she said.

"Hmmm, marriage?" I questioned the word itself. I looked at my hand and saw I didn't even have my wedding ring. Mike made me sell my ring for a couple bucks, fifty was all he needed to get high. And fifty was the price of my long-forgotten ring.

It didn't matter much, but now it bothered me. Making me wish I could cut off that exact finger and bleed to death.

"What is your plan exactly?" I asked.
"You're going to talk to Mike, and Danielle, me, and Vic are going to supervise," Matty answered. Fuck...I'm going to be watched.

"I don't think I can-" Matty cut me off.
"The day both you and Danielle got drunk, you confessed that you wished Mike would be sincere and talk seriously, to end the messages between the lines. You confessed a lot. I told Danielle after, and we want to see you go out and be your best...alongside the person you, ahem, love." He answered.

I nodded, and tried remembering anything I said. I couldn't...

"So, get pretty. Mike and Vic will be here any moment now." Danielle said.

"Moment?" I questioned her word phrasing.
"Yes 'moment', remember Vic is in on this as well," Danielle reminded me.

I sighed and decided to get up and shower. I looked around and questioned where the baby was at, but then I remembered that Matty always places the baby in the crib before doing anything.

They're extra protective parents...so, Jonathan wasn't the only baby, I was childish as well.

---------

I sat silently in the kitchen and I won't lie, I was nervous as fuck. Any moment now...I heard the car get in the driveway. Here they come...

I heard the footsteps and then the knock on the door. No, I can't do this, there are going to be many eyes. I decided to head upstairs and lock myself up and go out through the window. That...was a brilliant plan. Step one, up the stairs.

Step two, realize that the living room is next to the staircase and people will see you and have no other option but to stay and talk.

Mission...impossible.

"Hilda!" i heard Danielle call out.
"Yes," I muttered. I saw Vic walk up to me.
"Come on dude. How old are you? Don't act like a teenager, be responsible." He said through his teeth and led me to the living room where everyone was seated.

"This is embarrassing," I mumbled.
"Well, it's for the best." Vic answered.
"We've had family interventions before Hilda, don't act like this is the first time," Danielle added.

We all sat around and I looked up to see Mike, sitting quietly. And it seemed like his eyes were red, not from drug use. But from tears.

"So..." Matty whispered.
"Okay then, talk Hilda. Everything you told me," Danielle said.
"I'm not talking," I scoffed.
"Well, then I'll be the translator," Danielle teased.
"Stop joking bitch," I said under my breath.

"Well, what that means is that she is embarrassed to say that she wants to speak but is shy," Vic chuckled as he heard that come out of Danielle's mouth.

"She's not the only one who doesn't feel like talking in front of all of you," Mike muttered.

"You see, that's the thing. Both of you are selfish and prideful. Mike you told me you had a connection with Hilda the day she gave you a present," Vic started his statement and immediately Mike started blushing.

"You said you felt happy, so why don't you fucking grow up and tell her how you feel," Vic scolded Mike. Mike innocently pouted and looked away, shamefully. I giggled a bit, receiving stares but hiding my blush quickly. I looked up at Mike, who couldn't resist a smile.

"You guys are weird, but how about this. You have thirty minutes to talk and then we come back summarize and make conclusions," Matty offered.

"Smart," Danielle added.
"You guys are just doing this as you go along?" Vic asked.
"Yup," Matty answered.
"Cool, let's go to the kitchen then?" Danielle offered.
"Good idea, do you care for a drink Vic?" Matty asked.
"That's cool," he answered and they left as if Mike and I hadn't just thrown our teenage attitudes at them.

"So, did you eat my present?" I asked.
"Yah, they had a good filling inside. You obviously thought about it while you were buying them right?" He teased.
"Don't be so full of yourself," I mumbled. We were silent.

"So, what Vic said," I started.
"Uhmm, about that. He wasn't lying. I actually called him over and I guess I lied when I said I was angry with you. I was mainly angry at myself. I couldn't keep you at my side and I want you and I need you, but I don't have the fucking words to keep you at my side and Danielle is right, we're not ready for each other and I'm weak!" He broke down.

"Mike, I've been selfish as well. I want things to...especially attention.We both need to change. Maybe we need something drastic to happen! I don't know...Vic and Danielle always find the right words. Seeing that they're older. Well, I love you," I said sincerely.

"I wish we could talk the same way we talked that day," Mike said. I smiled and walked up and sat next to him.
"I want to hold you again," I mumbled.
"I would to, but your over-protective sister won't allow me...like the times we would sneak off together," he whispered the last part.

"Let's sneak off then," I said. He looked at me with a playful smile.

"You wouldn't" he instigated.
"Let's leave a note. Like the ones I used to leave back in the day and let's just fucking go," I said feeling over-joyed. He smiled and looked at me with even more enthusiasm.

"Go get a piece of paper!" He ordered.

Just as I brought back a paper, I saw him with a pen. I immediately started writing.



And like that, we rushed out through window and started running like hell...who knows what they did after.

All I know is that we went crazy with our debit cards. We went out to eat, like we did before. To a malt-shop we used to love. The owner recognized us and served us our personal favorite flavor.

Later as we were walking down Orchidea Avenue, we saw a pet shop and like I said, we went crazy with our money and bought a vaccinated puppy.

Money makes you go wild. He bought the puppy and I bought the collar.

This is what made us happy, this is what I wanted...this is my definition of love.