One Step Closer
Part 7
“No, daddy. I wanna stay here with uncle,” Sad Lennon said and looked into Pierre’s eyes reproachfully. He just took her up in his arms and replied: “I’m sorry, sweetheart. We have to go back to nana and grandpa, you know? They’re waiting there for us.” The little girl pouted again and sighed slowly.
“Okay…” She started. “Bye, bye, Davey.” She said and Pierre came closer his daughter to be able to kiss uncle David. Then she was looking at them both – they were in doubts if they should have kiss or should have not. Pierre realized it would be strange in front of the little one.
“So, goodbye.” David said silently and looked down as he realized Pierre wasn’t in to kiss. “Bye, David.” He said and smiled before he put Lenny on the ground. She went to the front door suddenly. Then Pierre just whispered to David’s ear: “I’ll call you tonight.” David smiled weakly and saw them off.
“Why didn’t you kiss him? You told me it’s a custom to kiss someone when you say goodbye.” Lennon said as her father put her into the infant carrier and went to sit on the front-seat. She got him again. The female child is really smart when she will be just three years old. Pierre turned around to see her. He wanted to oppose. But he didn’t know what exact to say. He was lost. “Um… we have to go.” He said and turned back around before starting up.
As they came back home, it was late at night. Lennon was taken by her grandma Louise and went to sleep. Soren was already sleeping and Pierre had his phone fulfilled with missed calls – 6 ones. He just closed his eyes tightly and collapsed on his bed. Then he punched the wall three times. “FUCK IT!” He screamed.
Then he stood up as quickly as possible. He was in tears. He went across the room and threw down everything he had at hand. “Shit!” He cried out and dropped down a glass vase.
He slid down. Suddenly he was sitting among the shards. He was crying all the time. Immediately he heard a sound of his phone that was placed somewhere in the sheets. He crawled up and went towards the bed to answer it.
Yes. The display was showing the same name again who called him 6 times before. Pierre closed his eyes again for a moment. He didn’t know if he was supposed to answer it or not.
He did then. “What’s up?” He said in a silent and calm way. He tried not to sound ‘mushily’. “Hey, Pierre.” The voice said. “Where are you?!” She tried to sound worriedly but Pierre could hear the voice loaded with irony. “I took the girls and went….gone.” He said emptily. “To the queer from Montréal?” Pierre’s eyes filled with tears. “Are you taking the piss out of me? What did you say?!” He was in puzzlement.
“I don’t want my daughters to be brought up by the fucker from there.” “Well, girl, I didn’t want my girls to be brought up by Californians but shit happens! I’m sorry but they will be here for a while. I think they feel a lot better here than in there. And above that, I don’t want them to get some obscene Californian customs, they won’t be that rude, trust me.” Pierre assured her even himself.
“Forget about it! You’ll come back as soon as possible. I’ll give you 2 days, and then you’ll come back.” She urged and sounded really pissed. “Well, I’m not quite sure about it.” He said and hung up suddenly.
He breathed out heavily. “Okay,… I’m well out of it.” He said and lay down on the bed, taking a THICK book he found under the bed. He opened it. It was his diary he has been keeping till he was 29 in 2008. His face was ornate with a wide smile as he read the text on the first page. It read: The angel that has joined our band yesterday is gonna be my husband one day. His smile got even wider.
He kept reading. The notations in there were so touching sometimes. All the funny moments he has spent with David; all the times when they’ve been enjoying each other’s presence; all the shout-ups which have been ending with kissing out. Simply, there was everything he has experienced during the 9 years he has known David.
All the pictures in the thick book have brought back all the memories which were swept under the carpet.
He was thinking all night long. He was asking himself: Why didn’t I accept David as my boyfriend? Why don’t I admit to myself that I love him? Do I love him at all? He realized wherever he is, he keeps thinking of David – WHEREVER, WHENEVER.
“You have some feelings for him, right?” Suddenly, Pierre heard his mother’s voice. She was standing in the doorway. He set his eyes at her. There was a silence for a while before he spoke: “I do.” Louise came closer to him and sat on the edge of his bed. She began stroking through his hair. It felt like back then when Pierre was just a little child. His mother used to stroke him all the time.
Now it was like that. Pierre was crying. “I don’t know what to do, mommy. It’s a dead end.” He said and burst into tears – this time – totally. “Come on, sonny...” She wanted to start talking but Pierre cut her in. “I was so damn stupid, mama. If I just could go back, I would do everything in a different way. I don’t know why I did get married to her, actually… I told to myself that I will never do something so reckless. Mommy, what should I do to make it up?” He asked before his mother rested his big head onto her lap.
“You should have a day off to think of it all, you know? You should know what the right solution is and-“ “I shouldn’t have gotten married at all!” Pierre cut her in. “I didn’t want to, trust me. I just felt… blind or I don’t know. Something has told that it would change a lot but… probably to worse… and I haven’t realized on time… unfortunately.” His mother was calming him down by fondling.
There was a silence for a while before Pierre added: “This fucking ring around my finger is hell. It makes it much worse. I don’t know what I should do…” He was crying his head off. “Pierre, you can stay here as long as you want. The door is open here for you. You don’t have to come back there.” She said. Pierre knew it would be amazing if he didn’t come back there again. But on the other side, he would feel like he ‘stole’ the little girls. What should he do?
“Okay…” She started. “Bye, bye, Davey.” She said and Pierre came closer his daughter to be able to kiss uncle David. Then she was looking at them both – they were in doubts if they should have kiss or should have not. Pierre realized it would be strange in front of the little one.
“So, goodbye.” David said silently and looked down as he realized Pierre wasn’t in to kiss. “Bye, David.” He said and smiled before he put Lenny on the ground. She went to the front door suddenly. Then Pierre just whispered to David’s ear: “I’ll call you tonight.” David smiled weakly and saw them off.
“Why didn’t you kiss him? You told me it’s a custom to kiss someone when you say goodbye.” Lennon said as her father put her into the infant carrier and went to sit on the front-seat. She got him again. The female child is really smart when she will be just three years old. Pierre turned around to see her. He wanted to oppose. But he didn’t know what exact to say. He was lost. “Um… we have to go.” He said and turned back around before starting up.
As they came back home, it was late at night. Lennon was taken by her grandma Louise and went to sleep. Soren was already sleeping and Pierre had his phone fulfilled with missed calls – 6 ones. He just closed his eyes tightly and collapsed on his bed. Then he punched the wall three times. “FUCK IT!” He screamed.
Then he stood up as quickly as possible. He was in tears. He went across the room and threw down everything he had at hand. “Shit!” He cried out and dropped down a glass vase.
He slid down. Suddenly he was sitting among the shards. He was crying all the time. Immediately he heard a sound of his phone that was placed somewhere in the sheets. He crawled up and went towards the bed to answer it.
Yes. The display was showing the same name again who called him 6 times before. Pierre closed his eyes again for a moment. He didn’t know if he was supposed to answer it or not.
He did then. “What’s up?” He said in a silent and calm way. He tried not to sound ‘mushily’. “Hey, Pierre.” The voice said. “Where are you?!” She tried to sound worriedly but Pierre could hear the voice loaded with irony. “I took the girls and went….gone.” He said emptily. “To the queer from Montréal?” Pierre’s eyes filled with tears. “Are you taking the piss out of me? What did you say?!” He was in puzzlement.
“I don’t want my daughters to be brought up by the fucker from there.” “Well, girl, I didn’t want my girls to be brought up by Californians but shit happens! I’m sorry but they will be here for a while. I think they feel a lot better here than in there. And above that, I don’t want them to get some obscene Californian customs, they won’t be that rude, trust me.” Pierre assured her even himself.
“Forget about it! You’ll come back as soon as possible. I’ll give you 2 days, and then you’ll come back.” She urged and sounded really pissed. “Well, I’m not quite sure about it.” He said and hung up suddenly.
He breathed out heavily. “Okay,… I’m well out of it.” He said and lay down on the bed, taking a THICK book he found under the bed. He opened it. It was his diary he has been keeping till he was 29 in 2008. His face was ornate with a wide smile as he read the text on the first page. It read: The angel that has joined our band yesterday is gonna be my husband one day. His smile got even wider.
He kept reading. The notations in there were so touching sometimes. All the funny moments he has spent with David; all the times when they’ve been enjoying each other’s presence; all the shout-ups which have been ending with kissing out. Simply, there was everything he has experienced during the 9 years he has known David.
All the pictures in the thick book have brought back all the memories which were swept under the carpet.
He was thinking all night long. He was asking himself: Why didn’t I accept David as my boyfriend? Why don’t I admit to myself that I love him? Do I love him at all? He realized wherever he is, he keeps thinking of David – WHEREVER, WHENEVER.
“You have some feelings for him, right?” Suddenly, Pierre heard his mother’s voice. She was standing in the doorway. He set his eyes at her. There was a silence for a while before he spoke: “I do.” Louise came closer to him and sat on the edge of his bed. She began stroking through his hair. It felt like back then when Pierre was just a little child. His mother used to stroke him all the time.
Now it was like that. Pierre was crying. “I don’t know what to do, mommy. It’s a dead end.” He said and burst into tears – this time – totally. “Come on, sonny...” She wanted to start talking but Pierre cut her in. “I was so damn stupid, mama. If I just could go back, I would do everything in a different way. I don’t know why I did get married to her, actually… I told to myself that I will never do something so reckless. Mommy, what should I do to make it up?” He asked before his mother rested his big head onto her lap.
“You should have a day off to think of it all, you know? You should know what the right solution is and-“ “I shouldn’t have gotten married at all!” Pierre cut her in. “I didn’t want to, trust me. I just felt… blind or I don’t know. Something has told that it would change a lot but… probably to worse… and I haven’t realized on time… unfortunately.” His mother was calming him down by fondling.
There was a silence for a while before Pierre added: “This fucking ring around my finger is hell. It makes it much worse. I don’t know what I should do…” He was crying his head off. “Pierre, you can stay here as long as you want. The door is open here for you. You don’t have to come back there.” She said. Pierre knew it would be amazing if he didn’t come back there again. But on the other side, he would feel like he ‘stole’ the little girls. What should he do?