One Step Closer

“Don’t you wanna go to the beach to have some family time, sweety?” The girl asked and smiled. The way she smiles isn’t that attractive but she tries – and the effort is highly valued. Well, David’s one is much more beautiful and charming than her. When he just raises the corners of his lips up, he lights up like a little shining star.

Pierre was kinda puzzled about what she said a while ago. He has NEVER experienced her behavior like this – maybe the beginning when they have started dating – it was like that, that’s true.
Pierre couldn’t find any words to say. He was tongue-tied but what else should have been done than just: “Fine, let’s go. It should be fun to let girls play in the sand and stuff.” He said and smiled a little before putting a washed-up plate in a cupboard.

All the way to the beach Pierre’s wife tried to behave in a ‘normal’ way. Pierre was quite confused about it.

While Lennon and Pierre were playing by the seashore, Soren’s mother was lying in the sand and getting tan – she was thinking of what to do to make him love her again. She knew she has lost his love already a long time ago.

“I think the little one has found a new friend,” Pierre said as he lay down on the blanket, leaning on his elbows. The girl next to him took a look at Lennon in the sand before taking Soren in her arms from the sitting position. She said: “She’s gonna be as talkative and friendly as you.” Pierre grinned a little before putting on his sunglasses. She talked on: “Well, I think she’ll be a lot like you. She has your cheeks and eyes.” She said.

Pierre looked at her with the glasses on. He thought: What the hell is she saying? She would never say anything like that on the past days. Pierre just took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow to wake up from the contemplation.

Nonetheless her intention was clear – to get Pierre on her side again.

They have enjoyed the beach time, it’s true. Lennon was in paradise when she was playing in the sand with other little girls or when she was just trying to learn to swim with her daddy – it was fun.
“Bed time, sweeties,” Pierre said before he put the sleeping smaller one into a cradle. “Will you read a fairy tale to me, please?” Lennon asked while she was getting in the bed. “Burrow in the blanket and I will, okay?” Pierre sat on the edge of Lennon’s big bed.

As she was totally covered up, she took the teddy bear from David. “Do you wanna know its name?” She asked and looked into her father’s eyes questioningly. Of course, Pierre made an ‘agreeing’ face. “I named him Davierre.” She said. Pierre’s smile disappeared suddenly.

“What did you say?” The expression in Pierre’s face was absolutely blank. “Like you and David,” the little one said. Pierre didn’t know how to react. At all!

He just began smoothing the blanket out nervously. “Well, let’s choose a tale,” he said and shook his head to forget about what his daughter told him.

As he lulled Lennon to sleep, he went to the bedroom. It was all different in his head that time. He got to the bed, thinking that his opposite number was sleeping. She was not. “Who’s the teddy bear Lennon keeps from?” Pierre heard a question from the other side of the bed. Well, to say ‘it’s from uncle David’ would be quite suspicious.

“I have bought it on my way home, you know.” He said to cover it all up. “Okay.” She said irresolutely but didn’t care about it too much.

She just had a great plan and she was on the way to do it tonight. “Pierre?” She snuggled up to ‘already-sleeping’ Pierre. He opened up his tired eyes. “Um?” He mumbled and looked at her while she was lying on the top of him. “I think you’re too much tense on these days.” She said, kissing him.
“Hey, I’m not in,” he said in an annoying way. Pierre knew what she was about. She didn’t stop instead she started doing it intensively. “Wait up, I don’t feel like that, you know,” Pierre snapped and wanted to turn around to get to sleep. But, she kept doing it.

After a long self-persuadeing Pierre agreed and let her do it. It should be noted that it was pretty wild night. But on the other hand, Pierre was still thinking about David. He kept comparing the ‘making love to David’ and ‘having sex with the blonde’. It was so different. David. It was all Pierre thought of. He almost burst into tears once again.

How is it possible that Pierre doesn’t know anything about his sexual orientation? He just does not and it keeps him being lifeless. Well, it’s up to him to decide what side he wants to be on.

It was quite impossible for Pierre to fall asleep. His mind just couldn’t get empty. At all. He couldn’t get David’s picture out of his head.

After a while of wakefulness Pierre couldn’t get rid of, he got up and walked out of the bedroom, going to the kitchen. He took a glass of water and leaned on a counter. He didn’t bother himself with lighting on, he was standing there in the dark. There was just a white light shining through the window. It was the full moon.

Pierre was breathing in and out really slowly and nervously, holding the glass. His hands were shaking. Suddenly, the glass fell off of his hand right on the floor. It smashed. “Oh, shit,” Pierre said silently and knelt down on the ground. He was really confused. He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking and instead of letting it go, he started to take up all the sharp pieces.

Yes. He nicked a little. “Fuck it,” he said again and burst into tears. He didn’t stand in the kneeling position and fell down on his ass. “Oh shit, shit!” He was crying really hard when he heard a creak of Lennon’s bedroom door. He tensed. The little girl’s footsteps were audible. Pierre got up as quickly as possible.

Immediately the little silhouette was standing in the doorway. “Daddy?” She asked with a quiet voice. “Oh, honey, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you asleep?” Pierre went to her and lifted her up in his arms, trying not to cry anymore. She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking into his eyes in the dark.

“You broke something?” She asked a question. “Well, it was an accident, you know? Come on back to the bed, yes?” He smiled and went straight towards her bedroom. On the way in she just snuggled up to her great father. “I love you.” “Love you, too, miracle. So, come on,” he put her into the bed and covered her up.

“Will you sleep here tonight?” She asked. Pierre didn’t protest, by contrast, he was in. “Okay.” He lay down and took his daughter closer to his body. “Wait! Davierre!” She called and ran her hand over the sheets to find the teddy bear. Then she put him in the middle. There was nothing else to do than smile.

“Good night, Lenny,” the caring father said and kissed her forehead. “Good night, daddy.” Well, we can’t say it was easier to fall asleep for Pierre but after a while he finally did. To chase away the thoughts of David was really difficult.