Ache With Me

I clicked my pen absentmindedly, bored beyond belief. Zina was out sick, although I suspected she was just out because she wanted to see Harry, leaving the office abnormally quiet. Brian had gone out for an early lunch meeting, so most of us were just hanging out eating or playing cards.

“So how are you and Max?” Zack asked, rolling his chair over to my desk.

“Great.” I couldn’t help the smile spreading across my face. I’d spent the night again and thoroughly enjoyed it.

“I don’t even want to know what the reason behind that smile is.” Zack shuddered, his green eyes lit up with amusement. I just laughed.

“Probably for the best.” I counted back in my head. “We’ve been together for…five months now. How are you and Marley?”

His face got all dreamy. “God I love that girl.” I nudged him with my shoulder gently.

“If you need help picking a ring, I’ll be glad to help.” I’d met Marley at some of our company parties, not to mention all the bar trips he’d brought her along to. She was so sweet and they seemed dead in love with each other. We had a running pool betting on when he would propose.

“I’ll keep that in mind Lily.” The subject changed to the gallery opening a few months ago that we’d both gone to. Zack had covered it for the paper so I could enjoy the night as Max’s date. We were laughing about something Max had said when there was a loud bang from next to us.

“Enough!” Hannah said, standing up. The noise had been her slamming her hand on her desk. “I am so fucking sick of listening to you babble on and on about Max. No one gives a fuck about your relationship, Lily. Just because you’re some half assed artist’s gut bucket you think you’re better than the rest of us!” I couldn’t help it, I burst into tears. I had never been able to handle confrontation very well, especially when someone was attacking me. Joan and Margot hauled Hannah off to the break room to cool her off. Meanwhile Zack pulled me into a hug, trying to calm me down. The entire office was staring at me and that just made it worse. I started crying harder, soaking Zack’s button down with my tears. It was at that point when Zack sat me back down in my chair and told someone to tell Brian he’d taken me home because I was sick, before wrapping me in my coat and leading me out of the office.

I cried the whole way home. I had downgraded to sniffles by the time Zack helped me unlock my apartment. I hated feeling weak but I was very grateful that he’d brought me home. He led me over to my bed and got me settled with a bottle of water and Cheshire. Then he kissed my forehead and told me had to run back to the office and he hoped I felt better soon.

I curled into a ball on my bed, holding my knees to my chest. I felt absolutely awful, even though it wasn’t my fault. It was the venom in Hannah’s voice when she said those things to me that was hurting. I couldn’t believe I had inspired that kind of hatred in someone because I was happy with my relationship. I had always tried to be nice to everyone, especially the people I worked with. What had happened that made Hannah so mad?

Maybe I had been talking about him a lot, but it was only because people kept asking me about him. Hell, Zina came by and asked me about him at least once a week. Had I really been acting like I was better than everyone else?

That self-doubt kept me balled up in bed until all afternoon. I thought about calling Max but I didn’t want him to see me like this. Knowing him, he’d take one look at my face and want to rearrange Hannah’s. So I stayed in bed and sniffled and generally felt sorry for myself. Then I heard my door open and almost fell out of bed. After a momentary panic, I remembered Max had my spare key. Oh God, Max. I could almost bet he had been calling me all afternoon and my phone was in my purse, all the way across the loft.

“Lily?” The panic in his voice told me he had indeed been calling.

“I’m in here.” I hated how croaky my voice was. I wiped my nose again quickly before he could see me with snot dripping down my face. He flung my curtains open, his eyes taking in the mess of blankets and tissues all over my bed.

“Lily you scared me half to death.” He dropped to his knees next to me. “Are you all right?” I nodded, unable to talk around the sob forcing itself up my throat. Before I knew it, I was clinging to him like a life preserver, crying my eyes out all over again. He didn’t ask me any questions, just stretched out on my bed and rubbed my back while I cried.

Eventually the water works ended and he left me in the bedroom to fix me something to eat. He’d had an early dinner with his band so he didn’t want anything, but he made sure I got food and more water, not to mention some pain pills for the inevitable headache I would have. After I’d finished he let me lay down with my head in his lap while we watched some Japanese game show. He was petting my hair gently, probably knowing it relaxed me enough to sleep. I guess I fell asleep like that, because the next time I opened my eyes it was after 2 am and he was sleeping next to me in my bed.

I knew that tomorrow I’d have to tell him what had happened, and I knew he’d be angry, but there was nothing he could do at this point. He’d already given me all the comfort I needed.