Ache With Me

“Lily?” I felt hands shaking me gently. “I’m sorry to do this to you but you have to get up.”

“Go away.” I grumbled, swatting wildly at the hands.

“You have to go to work.” Max reminded me.

“I’m not going to work today.” I stuffed my head under the pillow. “Leave me alone.”

I heard him sigh. “Fine, I’ll call Zina and tell her you won’t be coming in.” The mattress bounced as he got out of bed. One muffled conversation later, I was free from work for the day. He pulled the pillow off my face. “Do you want to tell me what happened now?”

“There was, uh, an incident with one of my co-workers.” I said carefully, trying not to worry him. Of course it backfired.

“What kind of incident?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“She yelled at me. For talking about you too much and thinking I was better than everyone else because I’m your…what did she call me? Oh, your gut bucket.” I bundled myself in my blanket and rolled over, facing away from him.

“Oh Lily, I’m sorry.” He touched my shoulder and I jerked away from him. “Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself. I burst into tears in the middle of my office because she yelled at me and Zack had to bring me home.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” There was a note of hurt in his voice I didn’t like.

“Because I didn’t want you to see me like that. Also I thought bringing you into that environment might just make her madder.”

“You can’t live your life based around what won’t make people angrier.”

“I just didn’t want you there, okay? I didn’t want you to make a scene about it.”

“Like that wasn’t a scene?” He scoffed. “All I would have done was defended you. But apparently you don’t want me around.” He practically ripped the curtains off the rod as he stormed out. I stayed in bed for only a heartbeat, then wiggled out of the blankets to go after him. He was standing by the wall of windows, glaring out at the gray February day. I wound my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against his bare back. He almost flinched at my touch.

“I’m sorry Max.” I whispered. “I’ve never been able to handle confrontation, let alone someone attacking me for being happy. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

He sighed and turned in my arms. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you either.” He leaned down to kiss my forehead. “I need to get going, we’ve got rehearsals for the gig tonight in a bit. Will you come see us?”

“Where is it?” I’d never seen them play but I was dying to.

“Some dive bar downtown, The House of Gold and Bones. Show starts at nine.”

“I’ll be there.” I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him. “Now go put your clothes on.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then your little butt is going to be freezing out there in the Seattle winter.” He laughed and went to find his clothes. I dug up some aspirin and made myself a cup of coffee, sitting on the counter to watch him scurry back and forth to find his things. He had a habit of leaving his stuff all over the place. His wallet was on the coffee table, his phone on the desk, and his beanie on the front table. With a final kiss, he was out the door.

Zina sent me a text telling me she hoped I had a good mental health day and that we’d talk when I got back. I wasn’t exactly excited to go back to work, not when one of my co-workers was so hostile towards me and Max. But, as he pointed out, I couldn’t base my life around other peoples’ feelings. So I spent the day in my pajamas with Cheshire, watching mindless TV and editing photographs. It was good to just sit around by myself and relax.

When I was sure Eden was off work, I picked up the phone to call her. It rang twice before she picked up.

“Nice of you to remember I’m alive.” Eden teased.

“I know, it’s been a while, but let me make it up to you.” I wanted to introduce her to Hunter so badly. I had a feeling they’d click immediately.

“I’m listening.”

“Max’s band is playing in a dive bar downtown, want to come along?”

“Depends, are his band members cute?”

I bit my lip, trying to remember what they all looked like. “Well Max is obviously, Hunter is absolutely gorgeous, and Dan and Kennedy are cute.”

“Hunter sounds interesting.”

“Yeah, I’ve only met him once though so I can’t say much.” I didn’t want her to suspect I was setting them up, or she’d run away as fast as she could.

“I guess I can come along. What time does the show start?” I gave her the details and she agreed to meet me there. Around seven thirty I decided it was time to start getting ready and hopped in the shower. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do with my hair, but I’d already started picking out my outfit. I scrubbed and polished and shaved until everything was as I liked it, then hurried out of my hot shower into a bathrobe. There was a definite chill in my loft; I suspected the heating had gone out again. I made a mental note to ask Max if I could sleep over. I didn’t want to sleep in this loft only to wake up a Popsicle.

I eventually settled on putting some product in my hair to make my natural wave last for once and blow dried my hair. Some small part of me wanted Max to show me off on his arm, so I dressed up nicely, but made sure I had enough layers.

At eight thirty I left my loft, knowing it’d take a while for the cab to make it all the way downtown. Eden was waiting outside for me when I got there, stomping her booted feet to keep warm.

“I’m sorry, I should have told Max to put you on the list.” I said as I rushed over to her.

“You just owe me a drink, that’s all.” She followed me to the door, where I gave the guard my name and he let us in. I’d told Max I wanted to watch from the crowd, but he gave me a password to get backstage when we wanted to. We’d just gotten our drinks from the bar when the lights on the stage went up. Dan came onstage first, settling himself behind the drum kit. Then Kennedy picked up his bass, Max following behind him with his guitar. They began to play, a slow churning beat that seemed to be picking up pace. When the music reached a fever pitch, Hunter appeared, grabbing his microphone. The reclusive poet seemed to be in his element on stage, his deep voice taking on an edge as he sang.

They were great, as I knew they would be. The energy in the room was infectious, and soon Eden and I were dancing and singing along like teenagers. The set was about an hour long. When we saw them going offstage, I grabbed Eden’s hand to lead her through the crowd backstage.

“Excuse me miss, you can’t go back there.” A burly security guard told me.

I winced. “Okay, Max gave me a password. I can’t believe I’m about to say this.” I took a deep breath. “I have twisted purple nipples.”

The guard nodded as if I made perfect sense. “Go on through.” I hauled Eden past him quickly, my face flaming red.

“That was some password. Or are your nipples actually purple?” Eden laughed. I just glared at her and followed the noise down the hall.

“Are you sure about that?” Dan was saying as we walked in the room. They were all sitting around the dressing room, drinking from water bottles and relaxing.

“I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart’s affections, and the truth of imagination.” Hunter said, peeling his sweat-soaked shirt over his head and wiping his chest with a towel.
Kennedy threw an empty water bottle at him. “Enough with the Keats!” Hunter caught sight of me and swept me into his arms before Max could move.

“Little sister! You made it!” He said, spinning me around in a hug. I couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.

“Yeah, Max asked me to come.” I wiped his sweat off my cheek.

“And who is this lovely creature?” Hunter asked, stepping past me to Eden, who’d been staring at him open mouthed since he spouted Keats like it was natural. The two of them started talking to each other, but I wasn’t paying attention because Max pulled me down into his lap for a rough kiss. I kissed him back, ignoring the cat calls and the fact that his hair was dripping on me.

“You guys were awesome.” I said when he finally let me come up for air.

“Of course we were, you sound surprised love.” Max grinned at me. “Oh, by the way, Lily this is Dan and Kennedy, guys, my girlfriend Lily.” They said their hellos and turned their attention back to their cell phones. Their significant others hadn’t made it to the show, I gathered.

We sat around and talked for a while, but I really wanted to be alone with Max for a bit. I decided to ask him to show me where the bathroom was. He took the hint and led me off through the labyrinth to the bathroom. It was dirty and I was only mildly sure there weren’t cockroaches in the corner, but it would have to do.

“Am I to assume you asked me here for a reason?” Max asked, his thumbs rubbing slow circles on the exposed skin of my hips.

“Mmm, maybe.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I let out a small squeak of surprise when he lifted me up and sat me on the sink.

“Not the most romantic spot, but it’ll have to do.” He buried his face in my neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive spots. I had a feeling I’d be leaving here with at least one hickey. Before I knew what was happening, he’d pulled the straps of my tank top off my arms to let the material pool around my waist. I gasped and clutched at his hair when he dipped his head to lavish attention on my breasts. The feeling of his tongue and lips on me was driving me crazy. I needed more than he was giving me. My hand had just started to make its way down to his belt buckle when someone started pounding on the door.

“Come on you two, people have to pee!” Kennedy yelled through the door. I stifled a groan as I dropped my head onto Max’s shoulder.

“It’s always something.” He grumbled, helping me right my clothes. He had in fact left a hickey, just beneath the neckline of my tank top. I had a feeling if the top moved too much it would be visible.

By the time we got back, Hunter and Eden were ensconced in a literary discussion in the corner, beers forgotten. We stuck around for another hour or so before we all piled into our separate cabs to head home. I’d already asked Max if I could sleep at his apartment until my heating got fixed and he agreed. We were both tired by the time we got back and changed into our pajamas in comfortable silence. Before my head even hit the pillow, I was asleep.