Ache With Me

“Ave!” I called, waving my arm over my head so my sister could see me. She spotted me and made her way over, dropping into the seat across from me.

“Sorry, traffic was terrible getting here.” She smiled at me and I swear she’d never looked more like our mother.

“It’s okay, I haven’t been here that long.” I picked up the menu to look over their selection. Avery had asked me to meet her at a sandwich shop we both liked that was about halfway between where we worked.

“So, how’ve you been?” She asked once we’d ordered.

“Good, work’s been keeping me busy.” So had Max, but I didn’t say it. I just couldn’t help but want to be around him.

“How come we haven’t met that boyfriend of yours yet?” Clearly Avery knew why I had been so busy.

“Just haven’t had time, I guess.” He’d been busy working on pieces for another gallery show and I didn’t want to pull him away from his work just to meet my family.

“You two should come on a double date with James and me.” She’d been married to James for five years and he’d officially become the brother I never had. He was a lawyer and absolutely serious unless he was around my sister. She just had that effect on people.

“That sounds like fun.” We talked about random things while we ate, our parents, work, Max and James. I got the feeling throughout the whole lunch that there was something she wanted to tell me but was having trouble spitting it out. It wasn’t until we were leaving the shop that she finally brought it up.

“James and I have been trying to have a baby.” She said.

“Ave, that’s great!” Somehow she didn’t seem as happy about it as I was. The corners of her mouth were turned down sadly.

“I can’t get pregnant.” My mouth hung open in shock. “Apparently my uterus is the wrong shape or something like that.”

“Oh, honey.” I hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry.” She’d wanted a baby since we were little. She would be a great mom.

“My eggs are viable, they just won’t implant.”

“So you need a surrogate.” Suddenly it clicked together, but I wanted her to tell me.

“I was wondering if you would consider being the surrogate. I can’t think of anyone I would trust more than you to carry my baby.”

“Ave…” I bit my lip. “I gotta think about this.”

“I know, I wasn’t expecting an answer right off the bat. Just think about it, okay?” I nodded, gave her one more hug, and went back to work.

Everyone around me seemed to notice that I was distracted, enough that Zack went to find Zina. My redheaded pixie of a boss called me into her office, looking grave.

“Is everything all right Lily?” She asked. I guess everyone hadn’t forgotten my little meltdown over the fight with Hannah.

“Yeah, it’s just family shit.” I didn’t really want to air my sister’s business with my boss, and she seemed to get that.

“Just don’t let it interfere with your work, that won’t help anybody.”

“Thanks for asking Zina, I really appreciate it.” With a smile, I headed back out to my desk. I still had to finish that article about the Thai-Chinese place I went to. Eden and I had eaten so much we practically had to be rolled out of there. I’d definitely be going back on my own.

Time seemed to be crawling by like a sick cockroach, maybe because it was Friday and everyone was antsy to get out of the office. There was talk about going out to a bar but I opted out of it. I had Max’s car today and I didn’t want to keep him trapped in his apartment.

I let myself into his apartment and curled up on his couch to watch him paint. He hadn’t even noticed me come in, he was so engrossed in what he was doing. It was very relaxing to watch him work and I needed that today. I was a little far away to see what he was doing, but I saw lots of shades of blue, so maybe it was something to do with water.

“I’ll be with you in a moment love.” He said, his words garbled by the paintbrush clenched between his teeth. He was using his fingers to apply some of the paint.

“Take your time.” Sylvester hopped up into my lap, overflowing it on both sides. I’d never seen such a massive, spoiled cat. He sounded like a jet engine when he purred and when I tried to stop petting him, he nipped at my hand.

Max finished whatever he was doing and turned around to face me. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“How could you tell?” I was a little surprised he’d been able to tell right off the bat. Then again, we’d known each other for almost a year and we’d spent a lot of time together.

“Your face looks like this.” He pulled an exaggerated frown and I laughed. “So what’s wrong?”

“I had lunch with Avery today and she uh, asked me something kind of important.” I didn’t know why I was jerking him around like this. Maybe I was afraid of how he’d react.

“What did she ask?”

“She and her husband have been trying to have a baby and it’s not working out because of something with her uterus, so she needs a surrogate.”

“And she wants you to be that surrogate.”

“Yeah, pretty much.” I watched his face carefully, trying to gauge his reaction.

“I don’t think you should do it.”

“Why not?”

“Because pregnancy would be really hard on you, Lily. You’re so little and you live alone in that loft and you have to take the bus to work. That’s nine months that you’re going to be locked down and you’ll eventually have to take time off work. It’s just too much of an inconvenience for you.”

“But she’s wanted this for so long. When we were little and we’d play house she was always the mom, she’s wanted a kid for as long as I’ve known her.” I shrugged helplessly. “She’s my sister, Max. How can I say no to her?”

He looked like he wanted to point out that she was only my adoptive sister and we weren’t biologically related, but he didn’t. “In the end, it’s your body and your choice. But I think you really need to think this over.”

“I know, I’m not gonna jump into this.” I paused, biting my lip. “Max?”

“Mhm?” He wrapped one arm around my shoulders, pulling me in closer to his body.

“If I do carry her baby…would you break up with me?”

“Do you really think I would abandon you because you were doing something amazing for your sister? I’m worried about the effects it’s going to have on you, not on me. There’s nothing that would drive me away from you.” He kissed the side of my head gently. “So, no, I wouldn’t break up with you if you did this. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I patted his knee. “Come on, let’s make dinner.” I didn’t really think about Avery’s request for the rest of the evening. I was too busy trying to keep Max from lighting his apartment on fire while he cooked dinner, and then we watched a movie. But once we got into bed and he fell asleep, I found myself mulling it over again, thinking about all the things being pregnant would do to my body. I’d gain weight, my chest would grow, my feet would swell, I’d be sick and faint all the time. Was I willing to put myself through that for Avery?