Happy Anniversary.

A blinding white light and the sound of two familiar voices woke me. Disoriented, I slowly came around to realize I was in Mr. Carlile's house. I had been there a few times before; he only lived a few blocks away from me and I had a lot of questions on his homework. I was quite impressed that he somehow got me out of school without alerting any teachers, staff, or students staying after hours.
"Babe, you can't be here right now. Please leave. I'll talk to you later." Mr. Carlile begged. His voiced was laced with panic and fear.
"No. Austin, it's just Alex. You and I both know he's not gonna tell anyone." A stubborn voice responded sassily. Where was that voice from? How did I know him? And why was Mr. Carlile so desperate to get rid of him?
"Alan. We have to be safe about this." He warned, threat seeping into his tone. Alan was a senior who was one of Vic's best friends. I had English and gym with him and he was one of the funniest guys I had ever met.
"Oh, shut up Austin." Directly after he said this, the sloppy, wet sounds of kissing filled the room. Holy shit!
My eyes flew open to see the couple making out in the doorway of the living room I was currently laying in. They actually made a really cute couple and the more I thought about it, the more I realized how perfect they were for each other.
You know, despite their relationship being illegal.
Forgetting the reason I was here in the first place, I smirked. "Am I not going to tell anyone, Austin?"
I've never seen anyone jump apart from someone else as fast as they did. "A-Alex, I can explain." Mr. Carlile - Austin started. The shorter, ginger-haired boy was frozen in a look of terror.
I laughed. "Guys, calm down. Like you already said, I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm happy for y'all; you two make a cute couple." Alan turned 18 in a few weeks, and he was graduating this year. Austin was only 22, so I saw no reason to freak out about it.
They wore matching grins. Alan - the obviously more flamboyant of the two - reached his hand to Austin's. At first, he jerked away, like he forgot that he didn't have to hide, but then when he saw Alan's look of sadness, he twisted them together again.
Their happiness was contagious. "So, how you guys get together?" Austin launched into the story of how the ever flirty Alan seduced him. Austin tried to scold him a few times during the story, but every time, it ended with them laughing. Not that Austin was normally a very happy person, but this was the happiest I'd ever seen him.
An awkward silence ensued after the story had been finished. I was beginning to think about all that had occurred today, and embarrassment filled my body. There was no part of my skin that wasn't red. I had a total breakdown in front of my teacher - it was Austin, granted, but still; if that's not embarrassing, I don't know what is.
Austin felt the tense silence as much as I did. "Hey, love, why don't you go get us dinner? I'm hungry." He asked Alan.
"Okay." Alan's smile was warm as he took the hand that wasn't connected to Austin's and rubbed his lover's bicep in a comforting manner. "What do you guys want?"
"Uh, just get us some burgers or something from McDonald's. I'll pay you back later."
"I hope by 'pay', you don't mean money." Alan winked, leaving Austin flustered and blushing. It was adorable the effect Alan had on him.
"Get out of here." Austin teased. And with a quick kiss, Alan was pulling out his car keys and headed to get our food. Wait, if Alan was going to get dinner, then what time was it? "You've been out for like, three hours. It's already five thirty." Austin answered as if he had heard me. My eyes widened. Jack must hate me. I totally blew him off.
He hates you. They all hate you. You can never get anything done right. Gosh, if I wasn't in your head, I would leave you. You're such a mess.
"I-I'm sorry about earlier..."
"Don't be sorry, Alex. It's not your fault; it's how you feel. However, I'm really worried about you." He came towards me and sat beside me on the couch I was laying on, patting my knee. "The things you told me...no one should ever even consider those thoughts, let alone attempt to act on them." His gaze landed on my arm. "When I carried you to my car earlier, Your sleeve rolled up."
I puffed up my cheeks and let out a big breath of air. "Austin, you can't-"
"I wasn't planning on telling anyone yet."
"...yet."
He looked me straight in the eyes, his face serious, almost...condescending. "I wanted to talk to you about it first." Austin stopped, waiting for a response.
I rolled my eyes. I wasn't really agitated with Austin himself, just the way the conversation was heading. "Well? I'm here, so talk."
"Um, first of all, why?" I tucked my head to my knees and groaned. "Hey, hey. Alex, I don't want to hear this as much as you don't want to talk about it. But, really, unless I know, I need to report it. I need to make sure you're alright. It's my job; the part of it I take very seriously." Austin was kind of like the unofficial counselor of the school. Kids would come to him before they went to our actual guidance counselor, Mr. Wentz. I've seen kids walk into his English room sobbing, or with deep scars under their heavy winter sweaters, before he would close and lock the door behind them, not letting them leave until there was a smile on their face. He always seemed to know exactly what to say, exactly how to help, no matter what the situation. I could trust him. I should trust him.
Taking me out of my thoughts, he squeezed my leg. "Alex, you know you can trust me with anything, so what's going on? Is it your brother? Family issues? Friends?"
I hugged my knees to my chest. "All of the above, I guess. It's just...it's too much. I can't do it anymore."
He sighed heavily, like he had heard this before, which I had no doubts he had. That didn't make it any less true for me, however. "Tell me about it." So I did. I told him everything. From my brother to my parents to Mike and Kellin to the depression and my unhealthy eating habits. And for that hour, while I struggled to stumble over my words and wipe the tears from my face, not once did Austin ask questions or try to rush me. He stayed perfectly calm and waited for me to finish, staying quiet even after then.
"So...what do you think?" I asked, wanting to know what he thought of me. Did he hate me now?
He hated you before this, stupid.
Looking me in eyes, he spoke quietly. "I think that you're incredibly strong for telling me this. I would never be able to tell anyone everything you just told me." He gave me a small smile. "However, I don't know if I'm the best person to help you with this. Have you ever considered getting, like, professional help? I don't want to force you into it or anything, but I think you would benefit from it."
"No!" I responded immediately. "No, no, no, I can't. My parents...and if anyone found out...no." I gasped. I was having a panic attack just thinking about it.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down. Alex, it was just a suggestion. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." He rubbed my back comfortingly until my breathing was regular again.
"Right." Before I could continue, the front door flew open to show Alan struggling to carry two bags of food from Burger King and three large drinks. My stomach churned as the greasy smell hit my nose, and I couldn't help but feel relief. Maybe if they think I'm sick, they won't make me eat.
"Sorry, traffic was horrible out there!" He said, annoyed, shaking white snow flurries from his contrasting red hair. I hadn't realized it had started snowing, but looking outside now, there was a thick coating on the ground of maybe a little less than an inch.
"Shit! I should get home soon." Remembering my phone in my pocket, I pulled it out to be greeted with 37 texts. Seven from my mother, eleven from Rian, two from Vic, and seventeen from Jack.
Shit.
Checking the most important ones first, my mother's, I calmed down when I saw it was just her checking up on me and telling me she was sorry she couldn't be home. This time of the year was just as hard on her as it was on me, and she knew it. I didn't even reply to her before checking Vic's.
His was just a simple apology, probably for setting his brother on me when I pissed him off. I didn't respond to him, either, simply because I was too mad to.
Heading to Rian's texts, it was basically eleven variations of "where are you and are you okay" texts. We had the same lunch period as well as fifth period, and Vic must have told him at least part of what occurred this morning, considering how close they were and that fact that Vic as well had fifth period with me. I told him I was fine, just not feeling school today would probably not make him suspicious; like I said, I didn't exactly have perfect attendance.
Finally, I went to the texts I'd been dreading to look at. I felt absolutely horrible for accidentally blowing off Jack, and these messages were bound to make me feel ten times worse than I already did.
Alex? You alright?
I've been waiting for like 30 mins...
Do you want to Skype? We don't have to if you don't want to.
Hello...?
I'm getting really worried...just tell me if you're okay?
Should I call someone? Because I will.
ALEX!!!! ANSWER ME PLEASE!!!
I'm seriously about to freak out.
The last text I received was about half an hour ago, and I figured I better put him out of his misery. He deserved it; I mean, I had blown him off, even if I hadn't meant to.
"Alex! Are you even paying attention?" Austin nearly yelled in front of my face. I jumped out of my seat, knocking my head with his. "Ow!" He groaned, backing up from me.
"Sorry, sorry! I'm so sorry."
"It's - ah - cool. Anyways, I was saying that as soon as we finish dinner, I'll take you home. Sound good?" He reiterated, rubbing his forehead where ours collided.
"Uh, yeah. I'm actually not hungry; I feel kind of sick, honestly. And I need to call my mom, anyways."
Having just heard about my eating habits, Austin gave me a knowing look, but didn't say anything in front of Alan, who gave a simple okay and headed to the kitchen, pulling Austin with him.
As soon as they were out of the room, I was dialing Jack's number. My hands shook as I put the phone to my ear. It dawned on me then that this would be the first time I'd ever hear his voice, making the knot of anticipation in my stomach thicken.
"Alex? Thank God you're okay. I was so worried! What happened?" A somewhat deep, lighthearted voice spoke through the line. My heart fluttered; I could listen to this boy speak all day. I couldn't fight the smile making its way onto my face.
"Jack? I'm sorry, I had some..." I didn't want to bring it up with the possibility of Austin and Alan overhearing me in the other room. "Complications. I feel really bad for blowing you off like that. If you give me say...30 minutes I'll be home and we can talk. How does that sound?"
"Sounds great! I'm just glad you're okay, honestly. Words can't describe how worried I was..." My cheeks warmed, and I felt my grin get bigger. How was it possible that one person - a person whom I had barely met, and hadn't even seen face to face yet - make such an impact on me? He turned my shitty day into a perfect one with just one phone call that didn't even last a minute yet.
"I'm fine right now. Like I said, I'll explain later."
"I'm gonna hold you to that." I could hear his joking grin in his voice. "So, I'll talk to you then?"
"Yeah, I guess so!"
"Sweet. Text me when you're home!"
"Alright!" Placing my phone back in my pocket, I practically skipped out to find Austin and Alan.
I knew the second I walked into the silent kitchen where the two were eating that they had heard every second of our conversation - well, at least my side of it. "I hate you both, you know that?" I teased, to which they replied by bursting out with laughter.
"Alex and Jack, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-"
"Finish that, Alan, and I finish you." I growled as threateningly as I could, considering the smile the refused to leave my face. Alan just laughed harder at me, and I couldn't help but join in.