Never Have I Ever

Warning: There may be spoilers for the book ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’ I know it’s a book most schools require students to read, but I thought I’d put that out there in case someone reading wants to read it but hasn’t yet.

I sit in English class next to Jack, the Monday after the party. It’s towards the beginning of the school year, only being about a month in, so the teachers haven’t decided who it’s okay to let sit next to who yet, hence the only reason I actually got to sit next to him.

We’d been forced to read To Kill a Mockingbird for the second time in two years, but no cared enough to point out that everyone in the room had already read it. It’s not like any of us will argue about an easy A.

Our teacher, Mr. West, lowers the book and stops reading. He’s trying to gauge our reaction, but like I said, we’d read it last year; all of our outrage over the jury’s verdict came out last year.

“Well,” he says, the obvious disappoint in our reaction (or lack thereof) in his voice, “I’m going to pair you up and you’re going to decide on whether or not you though the verdict is fair. You’re going to plan a presentation and show it to the class.”

I inwardly groan and vaguely remember receiving a similar assignment last year and it being a total disaster. Then again, we had been able to choice our partners and Jack wasn’t exactly the best decision I’ve ever made.

“Alex and Cali,” Mr. West calls out.
I raise an eyebrow and look at Jack expectantly. He rolls his eyes.
“Cali is the new girl that sits in the very back. Do you not pay attention to anything? Mr. West even made her introduce herself on the first day!” he exclaims.
I scoff.
“Do you honestly think I pay attention?”
He shakes his head disapprovingly, but I see through it. He doesn’t pay attention to his other classes either.

“Uh, hi,” a girl- I’m assuming it’s Cali, but I may be wrong – says timidly.
I hop out of my seat and smile.
“Hey. You’re Cali?” I ask.
She nods.
“Do you mind sitting in the back with me? I don’t feel very comfortable in the front…”

I nod and scoop up my stuff from my desk. I follow Cali to the back and take the seat next to hers. I take her in as she pulls a flowery notebook from her book bag.

She has curly dark brown hair, almost dark enough to be called black, with think streaks of red in it. She has large grey eyes with small suns around the pupils. Her skins a bit on the pale side and her breasts are decent size. She’s skinny, but with a healthy amount of chub on her. All in all, she’s pretty gorgeous.
“First of all,” she says, turning to me, “I think we should accomplish whether or not we think he did it.”
I try to think back to last year when I actually read the book. I hadn’t seen the point in re-reading it.
“I honestly don’t think he did,” I say.

Cali nods and tucks her hair behind her ears, revealing that they’re pieced but only recently so. Her lobes are still a bit red with irritation.
“I don’t think he did it either, so either the whole thing actually is about racism or Atticus is just a pretty damn good lawyer,” she jokes.
I laugh, but mostly because a joke like that really wasn’t something I saw coming from a girl like Cali. She seemed almost too shy to take a stab at humor right away.
“I really don’t want to do this,” she mutters as she writes ‘not guilty’ at the top of the paper.
“If you don’t want to write it, I can,” I offer.
She laughs and shakes her head.

“No, I mean I don’t want to do this project in general. But I mean, if you want to do this all by yourself, have at it.”
I smile and shake my head, just as she had seconds before.
“Nah. Sorry. You’re pretty, but you’re not that pretty.”
Cali grins but there’s a hint of a blush on her slightly round cheeks.
“Oh, darn,” she says, “There goes my plan of passing this class with my good looks.”
We both laugh and she closes her notebook.
“We’ll work on this another time,” she says.
I spot the opening, and I go for it.

“How about I show you a restaurant and we work on it there? You are new, aren’t you?” I ask.
Cali bites her lip.
“Do you mean like a date?”
I shrug and smile at her.
“If you want it to be, I’d definitely not object to it.”
“Do you mind if it’s not?” she asks, “I know this probably sounds dumb, but after that whole shooting a little while ago, I don’t really feel comfortable abound men.”
I tilt my head to the side.
“Weren’t they killed for rejecting him?”
Her eyes widen, and I instantly realize my mistake.

“No, Cali, no, that’s not what I meant. I swear I was just checking my facts, I’m not threatening you at all, I promise. If you don’t want it to be a date, I respect that. We can just be best friends hanging out, you know?”
She nods and gives me a small smile.
“Yeah, okay. Friends,” she says.
I smile back just as the bell rings. We both gather up our stuff and Cali hurries from the room. I walk back over to Jack and ruffle his hair.

“Yo’. How’s being paired up with Jared going?” I ask.
He grimaces and stands up, slinging his book bag over his shoulder.
“He literally sat there, stared at me, and agreed with everything I said the entire time,” he complains.
I snort.
“Aw, Jacky, he likes you,” I tease as we exit the classroom and enter the very overly crowded hallway.
Jack grunts and lightly punches my arm.

“I know. I mean, I’m flattered but I’d rather he didn’t make it so obvious.”
I lean against the lockers as Jack opens his and shifts stuff around to find stuff for the second half of the day.
“You’d rather he make less obvious because you don’t feel the same way about him, or because you’re so far back into the closet that you can see Narnia?” I ask.
He scoffs and slams his locker shut.

“Straight kids don’t have to declare that they’re straight, why should I have to declare that I’m not as straight?”
I roll my eyes.
“Would you just admit that you’re scared? Seriously, it’d make this conversation a lot easier. Oh, and you forgot your history book for 8/9.”
“Shit,” he mutters, turning back to his locker.
“Anyways,” I continue, “I came out as bi last year and no one has given me shit about it. Why are you so freaked out about it?”
He sighs and shuts his locker, this time with all the correct books.
“I dunno. It’s my parents mostly, if I’m honest. You know how they are with their Christian stuff. And by the way, at the party on Saturday you told me that you’re not gay.”

“Seriously? Did you remind that I like boys? ‘Cause we could’ve totally gotten it on,” I say, pretending to swoon.
Jack rolls his eyes and shoves me off of him.
“No.”
“Damn. Why do you let me be an idiot?” I ask, glaring at him playfully.
“Okay, enough about me,” he says, pulling me along to the cafeteria, “how was being paired up with Cali?”
I launch into the story and tell him every detail about it and he just rolls his eyes and listens.
“You get crushes faster than anyone else I know,” he deadpans after I’ve finished.
By the time I ended the story, we’d already sat down and ate half of our food.
“Whatever,” I say, taking a bite out of what the school claims to be a cheeseburger, “You’re just jealous because I have a date.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Didn’t she tell you she didn’t want it to be a date?” he asks.

I stare at him for a few seconds before muttering, “Shit. Thanks for pointing that out.”
He rolls his eyes.
“I’m only not letting you be an idiot this time because another person is involved. Don’t think this means I’m going to save your ass any other time.”
I nod, but I’m pretty sure we both he’s bluffing. There’s no way he’d let me get into too much trouble.
“Still, thanks. She seems like she’s one of the girls that are very freaked out because of the stuff that’s circulating on Tumblr and the last thing I want to do is make her fears reality.”
Jack snorts and takes a bit of his pizza.
“Are you sure you’re bi? Because honestly, you only ever talk about girls. And you seem to respect them more. Your mother raised you well,” he teases.
I kick him under the table and he jumps in surprise.

“Yes I’m sure. I mean, I had like a monster crush you when we were fourteen.”
He pulls his knees to his chest and rubs the ankle I kicked.
“You did? Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrug and pop a fry in my mouth.
“I was still in the closet then and so were you. What was the point in hitting on my straight best friend that also believes that I’m straight? You would’ve seen it as a total joke.”
“Everything about you is a total joke,” he retorts.
I frown and kick my leg up to hit him, only to end up smashing my foot against the underside of the bench.
“Ow, shit,” I hiss, pulling my foot closer to me to grasp it.

Jack laughs and shakes his head.
“What the hell was that, dude?” he asks.
“I forgot you moved your foot and I went to hit you but it wasn’t there anymore,” I explain.
He shakes his head and takes a bite out of his pizza again.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t tell me. We’d be the worst couple ever.”
“Or the best,” I counter.
He narrows his eyes.
“Don’t you dare,” he threatens.
“We could’ve had it all,” I sing a bit obnoxiously.
Jack puts a ketchup packet off the side of his tray before slamming his fist down onto it. It rips the packet open and squirts the contents onto my face.
“Oh, fuck you!” I yell, wiping it out of my eyes as Jack completely loses it.