Never Have I Ever

That Saturday, I sit in my friend Breyden’s basement, which serves as his bedroom. The coffee table in front of me is filled with pizza boxes and various kinds of chips and pop bottles, though most of us have gone for the beer instead.
Breyden’s father became a drunk when his wife died, but he didn’t become one of those stereotypical abusive fathers you see in the media. If anything, he became a bit helpless and dependent on Breyden, not that he minds. Breyden has always tried to seem older than he is.
If there’s one positive thing that can be said from his addiction, is that he’s pretty responsible with it. He manages to keep his job as a lawyer and provide for his small family of two.
He drinks so much though, that since Marry died it’s been extremely easy for us to snatch some of his beers when he’s out; it’s believable that he’d drink enough for us six in one night.

"So, are you excited to play in the park tomorrow?” I ask, handing Breyden the Dr. Pepper he’d been reaching for.
He nods and sits back on the couch he’s on.
“Yeah,” he says, bouncing his leg anxiously, “I’m also kind of nervous.”
“We’ve noticed,” Rian says as Zack places his hand on Breyden’s knee to stop its rapid movements.
Breyden blushes and leans back against the arm of the couch until his head is hanging off.
“I can’t help it,” he whines, “I’ve never sang in front of anyone outside of my band before. It’s kind of scary.”
I nod and Danny snorts.
“Then sing in front of us for practice,” he says.
“I’m not going to do that,” Breyden says, setting his now full cup on the ground so he can hang his arms down by his head.
“Why not?” Danny asks.
“Because if I do that, you’re going to make fun of me and any confidence I do have, is going to go down the drain,” he says matter of fact.
Danny shrugs and takes a quick swig of his beer.

"Whatever. Can we get to the girl topic of the night? I had a fucking great date yesterday,” he says.
“Uh, girl and boy topic, thank you,” Jack says from the floor, controller clutched tightly in his hand.
“Anyways,” Danny says, ignoring what Jack said, “So I took Cali to the Olive Garden yesterday, and then we saw The Fault in Our Stars. Totally worth it, she cried and clung all over me during the movie. Is this making you uncomfortable?”
He smirks at me and I grit my teeth.
“No,” I lie.
He shakes his head and leans back against the couch. Breyden and Zack eye us wearily.
“I think it is. I know you like her.”
“What?” I sputter, “You knew I liked her but you still said ‘yes’?”

"No, I knew you liked her and that’s why I said yes.”
Jack narrows his eyes at him and Rian pauses the video game they were playing.
“What the hell, man?” I ask, getting up off of the couch.
Breyden shifts his position uncomfortably, always to be the one that can’t handle tension.
“Guys, calm down,” he pleads, but is ignored.
“You think that you can get any girl you want, don’t you? You just can’t handle the fact that Cali actually wanted me and not you. You know what else, Alex? I fucked her,” he gloats bitterly.
I curl my hands into fists and dig my finger-nails into my skin to refrain from hitting him. Breyden takes a sharp intake of breath.
“You’re lying,” I say, “You have to be. She’s so scared of boys that she didn’t want anything to do with me when we first met!”
“Maybe,” he growls, “that’s because you practically threatened to rape her.”
I don’t know how it happens, but it does. Adrenaline washes through my veins and then my fist is smashed against his nose and then Jack’s arms are around my waist and Rian’s are around Danny’s.

My breathes come fast and leave even faster and Danny has blood dripping down his chin.
“What the hell, Alex!”
Danny struggles in Rian’s grip, probably just aching to return the favor.
“Take him outside or something,” Rian mutters, sounding completely done with the whole situation.
“C’mon, Alex,” Jack says, gently tugging me from the room.
I comply and follow behind him silently. He shuts the door behind us and I walk over to the porch’s railing and lean on it.

Breyden lives in a small neighborhood that only sees traffic when the main road that’s two streets over from his house, is blocked off. Most of the houses only have one or two lights on, and TV’s can be seen through the majority of the lit room’s windows.
It’s a cloudy night and only a few stars here and there are visible in the sky. The air is still and dipping into Fall weather, where the temperature is bearable enough without a jacket but most have decided on light hoodies.
The night is quiet; the silence is filled by a laugh every once in a while from an unidentified house.
It’s weird to have seen these houses every Saturday since a month into Breyden’s freshman year, but not knowing who is behind the doors or what they’re lives are like.

Jack hops up onto the railing next to me and I jump; I almost forgot he was here.
“You okay?” he asks, keeping his voice quiet.
I shrug and slump my shoulders forward.
“I guess. I kind of feel like an asshole for punching Danny, though,” I admit.
He snorts and smiles at me.
“Jealousy is normal. Look, Alex, I know you like Cali but she likes Danny. Punching him isn’t going to change that. All you can do is either continue to be her friend despite your unreturned feelings, or, if it hurts too much, you can stop being friends with her. What you can’t do is force her to like you by punching her boyfriend. Though, I do admit that you weren’t the only one being an asshole in there. He kind of had it coming.”

I laugh and nod.
“I’m glad I wasn’t the only asshole in the room, then. For as immature and childish as you are, you give good advice sometimes,” I tell him.
He shrugs and fiddles with his fingers.
“I guess I just have experience,” he mumbles.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Do you remember when you said that you used to like me?” he asks. I nod. “Well, you’re not the only one with a secret. Remember when you dated Lisa our sophomore year?” I nod again. “I used to hate her simply because she was with you and I wasn’t. She made it so hard though, because she was so God damn lovely and fucking nice to everyone.”
I laugh and bump my shoulder with his.
“The point is, that I get what you’re going through,” he says, shrugging me off, “I just hid it a little better than you are. Don’t focus on who she’s with; focus on how happy she is. Trust me, it makes things a lot easier.”
I nod.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Jack,” I say, “Wait a minute, does that mean that you used to like me too?”
Jack shrugs and gets off of the railing.
“I’m going to back inside to see if Danny’s okay. You did punch him, after all,” he says.
“Jack, wait, I-“
He walks back inside and slams the door shut with a little more force than necessary. I sigh and bury my face into my hands.
This whole ‘crush’ thing is getting out of hand. Now I have to apologize to Danny – and Jack? – for punching him, and to Breyden for ruining his Sunday party. Also, I’ll probably have to apologize for all the drama as well; God knows the kid doesn’t handle it well.

By the time I have enough pride and courage scrapped together to go back inside, Breyden is the only one left.
“Where did everyone go?” I ask, grabbing a cup off of a dresser that was too high for him to reach.
He blushes and takes the cup from me.
“Home, probably. They all went out the back,” he says.<br/>
I nod and sit on the edge of his bed.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? You didn’t punch me.”
I groan and lay down on my back. It’s only been about an hour and a half, but I can already tell that I’m never going to be able to live this down.
“I know, but I caused a lot of drama tonight and I know that you don’t like drama, like, at all.”
He laughs and flops down next to me, momentarily postponing his cleaning job.
“To be fair, Danny kind of provoked you. I appreciate the apology though, and will accept it as long as you promise to be there tomorrow,” he says, holding out his pinky.
“’Course I will.”
I hook my pink around his and give it a gentle squeeze.
“Good.”