You Can't Push It Underground

Gerard really should be more accustomed to dates, having been on several more than Frank, but he’s just as nervous. He might even be more nervous. Gerard still feels guilty about judging Frank’s character prematurely when they first met, and it embarrasses him to even think about it.

It doesn’t help that when he sees Frank his heart does a cartwheel. Frank is gorgeous on a bad day, but today is not a bad day. It’s a very good day, and Gerard thinks he might faint. Gerard tries to check his reflection in the window by the door, but it’s not dark enough for him to really see himself. He just hopes his hair doesn’t look too stupid.

“Hi Frank,” Gerard says biting his lip. It feels like it’s been years since he last saw the guy, even though it was less than twenty four hours ago.

“Hi, hello, hey,” Frank says, because he doesn’t know what term to use, so he might as well use them all. It could’ve been worse. He could’ve started greeting Gerard in Elven or Klingon.

“So hi.”

“Yeah,” Frank replies, and they’re just standing looking at each other.

“I’m honestly surprised you’d want to give this another go after last time,” Gerard says.

“Me too. I mean about you, I guess I’m not surprised that I wanted to, I’m surprised that you did,” Frank says, feeling his face heat up. This never happens. He doesn’t get nervous in front of people, but Gerard is just so foreign to him.

In so many ways the guy doesn’t make sense. The last time Frank had a real, honest to god crush, was in the second grade. It’s been so long now he doesn’t even remember the guy’s name, but it had been a fifth grader, and he had a really cool Pokémon lunchbox.

“We should probably sit down,” Gerard says and Frank kicks himself because yeah, that’s a good idea, and he’s an idiot.

Frank makes a calculated decision to sit in the seat adjacent to the one that Gerard sits in. On the off chance that he can get Gerard into a mindset where he’d willingly kiss Frank, it would be nearly impossible to do it across the table, but if he sits right next to him, the odds are much higher. It’s not like he’s necessarily expecting Gerard to kiss him, but it’ll be easier this way if he decides he wants to.

Frank’s in a precarious situation, however, where he really does have to wait for Gerard to make the first move. If Frank tries to kiss him it’ll come across as a segue into sex, even if he doesn’t mean it to. Considering all the shit he did at the coffee shop, makes it pretty hard for Frank to take charge. It’s not a familiar position for Frank. He’s usually used to being somewhat in charge of things, and it’s kind of invigorating to not have to worry about that with Gerard right now.

What he wants is to just spend time with Gerard, and it seems so unimportant to sleep with the guy. That’s kind of like an afterthought to him. Frank wouldn’t necessarily say no, but there’s so many more important things.

That thought alone is completely new to him. Sex has never been something that’s put on the back burner, at least not with Frank. What makes Gerard so special?

Gerard is having similar thoughts of Frank. Why on earth did he give the guy a second chance? Why on earth did he admit to the guy’s best friend that he likes him? That was really stupid of him, when Gerard thinks back on it. Brendon had played him so easily, and it makes him wince thinking about it.

They both forget to speak entirely until their waiter comes to take their drink order, and Frank is a little perplexed because it’s seriously been years since he was last at a restaurant where they did that. Brendon wasn’t exaggerating, his diet is not overly fancy.

A few minutes later the silence is a little more uncomfortable, and Frank has to cast his mind back a few hours to what Brendon had said. Talk about things you have in common. Talk about childhood. Talk about work. Don’t talk about religion or politics.

“Well, I’m really not good at starting conversation, but if one of us doesn’t than this isn’t going to be the most interesting date,” Frank says.

“You’re completely right, but I’ve been trying to refrain from telling you that I’m a little breathless at how gorgeous you are,” Gerard answers, and Frank blushes the way Gerard did when they first met.

“Brendon told me I should avoid complimenting you on your looks, because I’m a hopeless idiot who doesn’t know how to go on a date and needs advice from his blockheaded friend, but given the fact that you said it first, I will gladly return the compliment.”

“Well there you go. Ice broken?”

“I don’t know, the ice is pretty thick, you might need a pick to get at it.”

“I’ll just throw a brick at the ice.”

“Do you normally carry bricks on your person or am I a special case?”

Gerard grins stupidly, “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever been asked that.”

“Oh really? Well I can ask you a bunch of strange questions if you like. Kirk or Picard?” Frank says.

“Well my instinct was to say Kirk, because he was the original, but Patrick Stewart has that gorgeous bald head, so I’m going to have to go with option two.”

“Do you like Star Trek?”

“I’m more of a Star Wars fan myself,” Gerard replies.

“I don’t know how I feel about that,” Frank says making a face.

“Apparently not very enthusiastic.”

“It’s kind of a deal breaker for me,” Frank jokes.

“Is it now?”

“Yep, I’m afraid you’re dead to me.”

“That’s unfortunate, we haven’t even ordered food yet,” Gerard grins, “you sure you can’t accept me for who I am?”

“Well when you put it that way,” Frank shrugs.

“Do you usually alienate people based on their sci-fi preferences or am I the special case for you?”

“No, Brendon went through a brutal training process to be my friend. The fucker didn’t even know what a tribble was. He’s really passionate about the Ghostbusters though.”

Gerard shakes his head, “You and Brendon have a strange relationship.”

“Oh god, I should tell you about this one time when Brendon and I were at Bed, Bath and Beyond.”

~*~*~*~

Gerard’s just caught in the moment, really. He sees Frank looking at him with eyes like a puppy dogs, brown and big. It’s a little ridiculous how attracted to him Gerard is. It’s like someone modeled this perfect human being, an absolutely one hundred percent perfect human being, specifically for Gerard. Frank is this flawlessly sculpted man and Gerard doesn’t understand how it’s permissible to be that gorgeous.

In Frank’s wildest dreams, he did not see Gerard’s move coming, because all Gerard has to do is grab onto Frank’s hand, and pull him closer, and that’s it. Gerard must have a way with subliminal messaging or something.

The move is simple, but effective because all it takes is a tug on Frank’s fingers and Gerard’s kissing him. Frank pretty much blacks out.

Frank isn’t a big kisser. That’s not really the point of a one-night stand. Kissing creates closeness. It’s fine in the moment, a few sly ones here and there, but he doesn’t just kiss people. It’s weird, and far too intimate. He doesn’t feel that way now though. Gerard is very different.

Gerard practically attacks Frank’s mouth, biting down on his lower lip for dear life, and Frank goes with it. Gerard’s aware of absolutely everything, but also nothing at all right now. He can feel the warmth of Frank’s hand which he still hasn’t relinquished and he’s fairly sure that either one or both of their hands are sweating. He’s aware of his eyes, half-lidded and hungry with longing. Frank’s are closed gently, and his nose is on the verge of bumping against Gerard’s. There’s Frank’s breath which is the only thing he can really taste at the moment and it’s unique to Frank. Unlike anything else, but very warm and inviting.

When did Gerard put his hand on the side of Frank’s neck? He can’t remember. Frank’s pretty sure his other hand is lying limply by his side, and he can’t find the will to move it.

Frank really would stay here forever if he could, and it scares him that he wants to. He can’t hear much of anything besides the rush of blood in his ear. He’s vaguely aware of clinking around him, and there’s the distinct prickling on the back of his neck that someone is looking directly at him. It’s probably some old person who objects to two guys kissing, or a little kid who doesn’t know any better, but Frank doesn’t care. He really doesn’t because he wants to kiss Gerard.

Frank is pretty sure that this was an episode of What Would You Do? once, and he only knows that because Brendon is oddly infatuated with the weatherman on channel 5, so he wouldn’t exactly be surprised if someone yelled at them, but he’s having a moment. He’s having a moment that most people have when their teenagers during their first kiss to some kid from there English class behind a K-mart. It’s just that moment of ‘holy fuck, I’m fucking kissing someone and it’s fucking perfect.’

As much as he’d like to stay here though, the moment is shattered when a cell phone goes off. Frank would gladly ignore it, but Gerard doesn’t because apparently, it’s his phone.

“Fuck,” Gerard says, a little too loudly.

Frank spots the person who he’d felt watching them and it’s a little girl, no older than seven, who makes the loudest gasp Frank could possibly fathom.

“Sorry,” Gerard says to her and her parents, who are now looking at him disdainfully. Gerard looks down at the phone, and his face makes a disappointed expression.

“I’m so sorry, Frank,” Gerard sighs, “I’m going to... yeah I’m going to reject it.”

“It’s fine, you can answer. Who is it?”

“No it’s not important, I’m not going to answer.”

“Why? Who is it?”

“It’s... Frank, I didn’t exactly ask him to call!” Gerard says.

“Oh, so,” Frank says feeling hurt, because he’s pretty sure he knows who it is, “your ex?”

“Yes, and I’m not going to answer it,” Gerard says, and he presses the end call button so the ringing stops. That makes Frank a bit happier. At this time of the night, Frank knows precisely what that call was, and Gerard declined it for him.

The moment is gone though. There’s just no way to lean back in without being awkward, and Frank’s a little pissed off about that. He’s starting to hate this ex-boyfriend a lot more than he had already. He wasn’t aware of hating him in the first place, but the fact that Gerard liked him and keeps going back to him, really bothers Frank.

Gerard’s phone rings again though. He looks really irritated about it this time, and Frank leans back in his chair, trying to keep the scorn out of his eyes.

“If I don’t answer he’s just going to keep calling,” Gerard says, “and if I turn it off, then he’ll just leave a bunch of voice messages.”

Frank runs his tongue along the front of his teeth, and says derisively, “No, please. Answer, I don’t mind. Why would I?”

“Frank,” Gerard says, unamused, “Let me just tell him to go away. Please?”

“Yeah, whatever, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom,” Frank says, and leaves the table before he can even hear Gerard’s response.

The bathroom is around the corner from where there table is, and there’s a side door that leads outside. Frank decides to step outside, leaving his shoe as a doorstop.

Frank’s fingers are grabbing his phone and calling Brendon before he can even give it a second thought.

“What happened?” Brendon says as a greeting.

“His ex called him, Brendon! His ex! Gerard is on the phone with him right now.”

“Wait, Gerard answered?” Brendon asks, emphasizing his disbelief on the last word. Apparently he totally sides with Frank on that one.

“Yes, Brendon. He answered!” Frank says despairingly.

“Tell me it wasn’t on the first ring or anything.”

“No. He rejected the call. The guy called back though,” Frank says.

“Wait,” Brendon says, taking on a new tone, “are you trying to tell me that he rejected the first call, but picked up the second? Are you a complete idiot, Frank?”

“What did I do?” Frank asks defensively. Maybe Brendon doesn’t side with him.

“Well am I right in guessing that he only answered to tell the guy to go away?”

“Well... yes.”

“Then get the fuck back in there you idiot!” Brendon shouts, “He’s probably more embarrassed about it than you are!”

“But-”

“No but’s. You’re jealous, right? That’s why you’re so wigged out. You’re jealous that his ex called.”

“I guess,” Frank says.

“Well fuck,” Brendon says, “Frank, you’re best friend is a gay guy. I am gay, I am your best friend, do you know what idea that probably puts into his head? He accepts that of you, you have to accept that his ex might be a little clingy. If he’s not jealous of your friendship with me, you can’t be jealous of that fucking ex.”

“Are you trying to tell me that I’m the one in the wrong here?”

“That is precisely what I’m telling you. Get back in there, right now!”

“One more thing-”

“Is it about Gerard’s ex?” Brendon asks.

“Yes, I wanted to-” the connection ends. Frank frowns and takes the phone away from his ear, and looks back at it. Brendon hung up on him!

Frank decides to be angry about that later, because Brendon was probably right about getting the fuck back in there.