You Can't Push It Underground

“Why is he sitting with us?” Frank whines when Gerard makes his way back to them looking smug.

“I don’t know, I’ll ask him,” Brendon says, but he doesn’t get the chance before Frank kicks him once again.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Frank says.

“Lovers quarrel?” Gerard asks with a sinfully fake voice of interest.

“That would imply that Frank and I are lovers. Think your idioms through before you voice them or someone will end up hydro pumping all over your old white converse.”

“Where’s your date?” Frank asks.

Gerard looks uncomfortable and frowns, “he left.”

“Because you’re a judgmental prick?”

“I will pull out your fucking hairs one by one if you start on that, Frank,” Brendon says calmly.

“What did I do?”

“You’re being a dick,” Brendon says. “Calm the hell down, and treat Gerard like a human being.”

Gerard makes an arrogant face and directs it at Frank, making Frank squint his eyes at him unhappily.

“Don’t you give that face, Gerard. I may barely know you, but I am not afraid of scolding you out either. You treat Frank like a human being too. Fucking apologize to him for judging his lifestyle!”

“But you just said-”

“Never forget where my allegiance lies, Gerard,” Brendon says firmly, “I’m mad at him too, but you’ve got to bear in mind that I’m more likely to take his side.”

Frank shrugs, not necessarily in a self-satisfied sort of way, but because Brendon is telling the truth.

“I’m sorry. It was out of line of me. I didn’t realize that what I said had that much of an effect on him,” Gerard says, looking to be actually fairly truthful.

“That was adequate. Now honestly, I’m sorry that it didn’t go over well with you two, really I am, but that is not an excuse to hate each other. You’re both good people, and I think it’s unjust to try to compare yourselves to each other.”

Frank opens his mouth, “but he was being conde-”

“Yeah, I get it. Gerard was condescending, you were disrespectful, I know how it works. That’s not a good reason to dislike each other. Everyone has a character flaw, I spend way too much time on my hair and I’m hopelessly impatient. Frank is egotistical, and Gerard is judgmental,” he says, “are we good then? Everything is out on the table now!”

“I guess its fine,” Gerard shrugs, “I mean it wasn’t actually that bad. The date I mean.”

Frank blushes, because he’d honestly thought that Gerard had hated it. He’d thought it was just him.

“No it was just that bit at the end there,” Frank says, “I came on a little too strong, and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for that, and for just now.”

“I’m such a good influence on you,” Brendon says smiling to himself.

“Shut up, Frank punches him.

It happens again to Frank. He starts talking to Gerard and he forgets to hold a grudge. It’s not like he really wanted to apologize, but he’s not afraid to admit that he probably should, and he did. Well he did as much as he’s willing to anyway.

“If you don’t mind my asking, why did you have a second date?” Frank asks after almost an hour of conversation.

“Well I’m trying to get over my ex, but that thing at the coffee shop was honestly just so awkward, I guess I crawled right back,” Gerard answers.

“Wait that was him?” Frank asks, now wishing he’d actually seen the guy instead of hearing about his existence.

“Yeah, that was him. He left when I said I’d seen a friend, but he doesn’t like any of my friend so...”

“That’s pretty fucked up. If I met someone who couldn’t put up with the people in my life, I would get rid of them without a second thought. Brendon may be a bit of an idiot, but I wouldn’t dump him for anyone.”

“That’s one of the reasons why I know I shouldn’t go back to him. I don’t want to, but I just do, and I can’t help it. It’s like I’m tied to a bungee cord, and however far away from him I get, I just get pulled right back.”

Frank excuses himself to go to the bathroom and that’s when the serious talk comes out between Brendon and Gerard.

“He’s very set in his ways, Gerard,” Brendon explains. “Like, he won’t change unless he finds a really good reason to, but I doubt he’s really going to. Or try to. A part of the reason why I’m trying to hook him up with someone, other than the bet, is because, honestly I feel like he could be a really great loving person. I think he’s got that in him, and I think it’s going to rear its head once he finds the right person, but before any of that he does have to find him. He’s got to find someone and I don’t know who it’s going to be, but I hope to find him.”

“What makes you think he can change?”

“Well,” Brendon frowns, “you’ve got to understand that Frank is a very stubborn human being. He is very much sure of what he wants in life, and he’s blinded to anything that isn’t on that exact route he has in mind. He’s decided that the bachelor life is what suits him, and he won’t accept that, you know, maybe it isn’t. I don’t want to change him, he is my friend, but I want him to know that maybe it’s not good for him the way he uses guys. I think he’s so used to it that he doesn’t realize the effects of it.”

“What do you mean?” Gerard questions.

“He just doesn’t realize that when you have a one-night stand, there are two parties involved. He thinks of it as just himself, and while that’s fine on a small level, the scale he’s brought himself to is just pushing on outrageous. The fact of the matter is that Frank is a good person. He’s cynical, sure, and he’s a little arrogant at times, but he’s a good person.”

“Deep down?”

“No, not really. It’s not deep down, it’s right on the surface if you, just scratch off the top layer. It’s this façade he encompasses that comes across as self-obsessed but I don’t think that’s all of who he is. He’s caring, and he’s warm, he’s just a little lost,” Brendon says.

“How did he get that way?”

“You know, I ask myself that a lot, but I don’t know. When I met him he was a milder version of who he is now, but he was still that same guy. I think the fact that his parents are divorced has something to do with it. He never really saw love between them so he just assumes it’s not a real thing. Frank doesn’t believe in love, because he’s never experienced it. He doesn’t know what it’s like being in love, so he assumes it’s a ploy.”

“He thinks the whole world is faking it for his sake?” Gerard asks.

“No, he thinks people who claim they’re in love are just in denial. He thinks it’s an overhyped phenomenon of the gullible.”

“That’s a sad way to live your life. I’ve experienced love firsthand and it’s no joke. It’s a fucking mess, but it’s real.”

Brendon nods, “yes, well I know that, and you know that, but Frank doesn’t. That’s why I need to find him someone. He’s my best friend and I just don’t want to see him end up wasting away his youth, and losing his chance at finding someone. I think he’s got a lot to offer, but he’s bottling it up. It may be an unconscious thing he does, or maybe it’s intentional, but I do think he’s afraid of getting close to people.”

“But friendship, that’s the same thing, right? It’s like the same thing only it’s a different kind of love. I’m sure you love Frank, and he loves you back, purely platonically, but that’s proof enough for anyone with logic.”

“Not in Frank’s eyes,” Brendon shakes his head, “Listen, don’t repeat what I’ve just said to anyone. I guess I spewed off a little more than I meant to. It’s just that I worry about him, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Gerard says.

Frank returns after that and Gerard tries to stop looking at him, but honestly, it’s hard to deny that Frank is hot. He’s short and he’s too energetic, and he’s a little tipsy, but he’s extremely easy to talk to, and also easy on the eyes.

Gerard had thought for sure that after that cup of coffee they would never see each other again, but here they are having a normal conversation as if that date had never happened.

Gerard thinks, though he wouldn’t admit it, that it’s actually quite nice. Frank’s thoughts are identical in that respect.