I’m Coming Home

The mud squished under my feet, sucking my shoes down into it and making that annoying slosh! sound every time I took a step.

I don’t know why, in God’s name, Raven insisted on having a dirt driveway. It wasn’t so much a driveway, but just where the road ended right in front of our home. I tried to convince him to let me get it paved, but he was dead set on seeing the dirt rise from behind his vehicle. You know, when it wasn’t raining Hell down upon my head.

I looked up at the lights in the distance. A half-mile of straight road between me and my home. My bones were heavy with rain. I was tired. And I just wanted to sleep. Just one half-mile more, I kept reminding myself.

I was sloshing through the mud under the tree when I heard the screen door slam shut.

“Lion!”

I lost a shoe in six inches of muck as he tackled me to the ground.

“Lion, oh thank God you’re home,” he rushed, sitting up and gathering me against his chest.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, my lips pressing into the dirt on his throat, and started bawling my eyes out. “I’m so tired, Raven!”

“Hey, shh. It’s okay,” he whispered as he stroked my matted hair. “It’s okay, baby. I promise.” He managed to his feet, tossing my bag over his shoulder and pulling me up into his arms.

The first thing I did was sleep a week’s worth, caked in the mud of when Raven tackled me.

He would stand by the door and watch me sleep for a few minutes before leaving so I could nap in peace. I knew he thought that there was something wrong with me, because who sleeps for days when they return home?

When I finally got up, I drew a bath and settled in the warm water, harshly scrubbing at my arms and legs and stomach to get the caked on dirt to release its grip on my skin. While I washed, Raven stripped the bed and changed the sheets.

He came in as I was rinsing myself off. “I can make you some food. You’ve been sleeping for a week or so, so I figure you’re hungry.”

I smiled, scooping up some water to splash my face. “I’m famished.”

He sat down and leaned against the wall. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but didn’t. So we just sat in silence until I was done cleaning myself up.

I stood from the water, little rivulets running down my body as I reached for a towel. Raven looked away until I had the towel secured around my waist. I smirked at him. “Come on, Raven; you’ve seen me naked more times than not.”

He nodded. “I know. But it’s been two years.” He kept his gaze on the floor as he stood up.

“I need a razor,” I murmured, rubbing the scruff on my chin.

“You look good,” he tried as we walked down to the bedroom.

I scoffed. “I look and feel like a hobo.”

“But aren’t you?” he questioned. I rifled through the bottom drawers of the dresser. “Your clothes are in the top drawer, by the way. I, uh, unpacked your stuff while you slept.”

“I’m not looking for my clothes.” I grabbed a pair of his boxers and tugged them up my damp legs. “And I’m not a hobo, thank you very much,” I smiled.

“Well….”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re kind of mean to me.” I walked up to him and kissed him. “I missed you so much.”

His arms circled around me, holding me tight to his chest. I pressed against him, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

After a few minutes, my stomach growled, which made Raven smile. “Come on, I’ll find you something to eat.” He took my hand in his and led me downstairs.

As I devoured dinner, much to my delight it was steak and mashed potatoes with chives, Raven kept talking about how he was so happy when he saw me making my way through the mud and that he couldn’t believe I’d been away for so long. Two years was a really long time, Lion. I mean, if you think about it.

I tried not to.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, getting all quiet at the end of his request.

I quirked my eyebrow at him.

“How long are you staying?” He didn’t look up at me when he asked, just played with the spoon stuck in the potatoes.

I stopped chewing and furrowed my brow at him. I hadn’t thought about how long. Like, at all. “I, uh, I don’t know.”

He looked completely shattered at that, continuing to stack the potatoes on themselves.

I reached over and grabbed his hand. “Raven.”

He looked up at me through his eyelashes.

“I love you.”

The smile only reached half his face, and not up to his eyes. “I love you too.”

“I’m going outside for a few.” I stood up, placing my plate in the sink. Once I was outside, I flicked my lighter alive and lit a cigarette. I walked over to the tree and pressed my foot into it before kicking it lightly. I looked up at the branches and foliage, jumping to grab the lowest limb and pulled myself up into the tree. I sat near the inside of the tree so my weight wouldn’t break the branch.

“Lion, what the hell are you doing up there?” Raven stood under my dangling legs, grabbing my swinging feet. “You’re going to get hurt.”

“Only if you let me,” I smirked. I drew my legs up onto the branch and reached up.

“Lion, you’re going to get yourself killed if you continue climbing.”

“Only if you let me,” I sing-songed.

He was quick to climb up into the tree, following me. “Lion, I swear to God, if you don’t come down here right now….”

I stopped at one of the larger branches we used to lay on in the summer. He pulled himself up.

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” he huffed dramatically.

I swung my legs over each side of the branch and turned to face him as he settled with me. “You have no faith in me.”

“No, I’m just sane.” He sat so he was facing me.

“Do you remember the time we tried to have sex up here? Right there where the branches splay off into all sorts of ways.”

“I ended up with pitch all down my back.”

“And on your ass,” I smiled. I inhaled from my cigarette, letting out a breath of smoke. I stretched my legs out so they were resting on his hips. I scooted forward so our hips touched and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You’re my number one.”

“After leaving.”

“No. Above leaving.”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” he frowned. “I… I don’t even know why you leave.”

I sighed and leaned back, taking him with me. I pressed my lips to his. He gave into me like I knew he would. I dropped the dead butt to the ground and then kissed him again.

It definitely wasn’t the most comfortable position, laying in a tree. But for all intents and purposes, it was perfect. Just him and I. Together again.



“You know what I want to do?” Raven smiled, sitting on the floor beside the couch and placing a little trail of popcorn down my bare chest.

“If it’s to have sex, we’ve done that for almost three weeks straight. I’m achy and tired; we could snuggle, though.”

He laughed, leaning down to press an open-mouthed kiss against my stomach and picking up a popcorn kernel in the process. “That’s not what I was thinking. And you can’t complain; I’m just making up for lost time.”

I ran my fingers through his hair as he snagged another piece of popcorn from my chest. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to leave with you one of these times.”

I sat up on my elbows, making the trail of food fall down my chest. “What?”

He nodded. “I think it would be nice. Just to get out of this town for once. You know, we’re a mile from the nearest house, five from the center of town, and twenty from the nearest proper. This dust land is all I’ve seen from the time I was born. I want to leave, even if we just drive until there’s no more gas in my tank.”

I moved so I was seated, with Raven between my knees. “No.”

His smile fell. “What do you mean, no?”

I cupped his jaw in my hands. “You belong here.”

“Stuck in this house until the day I die?”

“No, you belong here, with me.”

“But you’re always going to leave me.”



My feet were kicked up onto the railing surrounding the veranda, a cigarette hanging from my lips. Beside me on the little table between the two chairs were two glasses, one of iced tea with little ice cubes floating at the top and the other with whiskey. Raven was sitting in the other chair. This was the life to be had.

Raven pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, yawning heavily. “I think I’m going to retire soon. Are you coming with me?”

“I’ll be a minute.” He frowned. I showed him the freshly-lit cigarette. “Just want to finish this.”

He leaned over and caught my mouth with his. “Okay,” he smiled. He turned for the door. “Oh. Don’t forget,” he said, facing me, with his body between the door and the frame, “tomorrow I’m going into town for some groceries. You ate everything in the fridge and cabinets.”

“Are you harassing me and my eating habits?” I joked.

He came over to me. “Not at all. It’s nice to see you have a little more to your figure now.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled. “I must have gained about forty pounds in the last four months. I don’t know how you could love all this fat.”

He kissed my stomach lightly. “At least I don’t have to worry about you starving to death.” He pressed his lips to mine. “Don’t be too long.”



On one of his trips for groceries, I stayed back and laid in bed until I could no longer see the dust his truck kicked up. Once out of sight and sound, I threw the covers off my legs and straightened them before starting down the stairs.

Dishes from last night’s dinner were still soaking in water. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. His whiskey tumbler was still on the coffee table from when he abandoned it for sex.

I carefully washed the plates and pans and silverware from dinner, wiping my pruned fingers on the cloth hanging on the stove. When I was done cleaning, I headed out the backdoor toward the dead corn stalks. I sat down somewhere amidst the crinkly leaves.

I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one as I laid back in the dirt.

It wasn’t until the sky was tinted with reds and oranges that I heard Raven’s truck rumbling up the dirt road. The screen door slammed shut after he unloaded all of the groceries.

“Lion!”

There was a hint of utter worry laced in his voice.

I stood up and looked around, not hearing him attack the corn. “Raven.” I started back toward the house, stumbling out to meet a panic-ridden Raven.

“You’re still here,” he breathed, his hand gripping my shoulders, like he was unsure if I was really there with him. He pressed his lips to mine, tears streaking down his face.

My hands went to cup his face, to wipe at the tears. I hugged him close to me, his face hiding in my shoulder. He continued sobbing.



Raven watched me from behind the screen door.

Rain dumped down on my head as I stared up at the sky, arms held out as I spun in the mud.

I stopped long enough to look over at Raven and smile. I wiggled my finger at him for him to come join me. He stepped out on the porch, but didn’t come over. I sighed dramatically and went to get him.

We ended up dancing and making out in the rain like in all those cheesy romantic movies I hated.

A week later I came down with the flu.

“You’re one needy fuck,” he told me about two days into my sickness, rolling his eyes playfully.

I shivered like I was suffering from hypothermia, even though my last temperature reading was one-oh-two. “Admit it, you’re happy I’m sick,” I managed through my shivers.

He couldn’t hide the shit-eating grin that stretched across his features.

“Ass,” I coughed, smiling at him.



Raven leaned against the tree, squinting back at me through the dusk as I lingered at the doorway. He was wondering the same old thing, I could tell by the distressed look on his face.

Why hasn’t he left yet?

I’d figured after so long, he wouldn’t worry as much. Clearly I’d been mistaken.

Each morning, for him, it was a miracle that I hadn’t left during the night.

I sauntered over to him. “Come on, it’s going to rain.”

“You just don’t want to take care of me if I catch a cold, like I had to with you all those years ago.”

There was a crack of thunder off in the distance.

“That couldn’t be farther from the truth.” I hugged him tightly. “I want to take care of you now,” I whispered. I led him toward the veranda just as the rain started coming down in buckets, kicking up the dry dirt in its wake. I pulled him inside; the rain started falling sideways and hitting the porch.

We headed upstairs to the bedroom, sleep pressing at our minds.

I fell onto the bed, pulling him down with me. I connected our lips as my fingers pressed into the scruff on his jaw.



I sat up watching Raven sleep. He looked so peaceful, as if he finally realized I was still here.

I couldn’t sleep, one of those random nights when I stayed up thinking. Sighing, I pressed the heel of my hand into his stomach lightly. “Raven,” I cooed.

He made a muffled sound in his sleep and pushed his face into the pillow. One hand reached out and gripped at my pajama leg.

“Raven,” I tried again. “Wake up.”

He sat up with a start, free hand going up to his chest. “Jesus Christ, Lion. You scared me.”

“I know. Sorry.” I leaned forward and kissed him as he fell back against the pillows. He turned over and drew the covers around him. “Raven.”

“Mm?” he mumbled against the pillow.

“You know how I used to leave?”

He rolled over to look at me. “Yes,” he answered warily.

I sighed. “I know you still worry. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me.”

“That’s because you’ve never stayed this long. It’s a nice change.”

“I don’t even know why I would leave,” I admitted. “But I’m tired. I just… I want to stay.”

He reached out and touched my knee, smiling softly. “That’s something I think we can manage.”

I felt tears prick my eyes. “You’re seriously too good to me.”

He laughed. “Lion, you’re my husband. Of course I’m good to you.”

“I mean, even when I left all those times.”

He sat up and crossed his legs so our knees were touching. He reached up to wipe my tears. “Lion, we may never know what drove you away; but I do know that something kept bringing you back to me. I will always love you. No matter what,” he promised.

I smiled through my tears. “Sap,” I accused lightly.

“Eh, someone has to be,” he laughed. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.” He laid down and opened his arms for me to settle with him, to which I acquiesced most willingly.