Everything I Didn't Say

Alexa stood in the room with Louis, the two of them stood in a awkward silence that neither of them knew how to break. Several times both opened their mouths to say something but closed it again when nothing came out. Alexa laced her fingers together and took a deep breath.

“About the other week… I… uh…” she stumbled not sure where she wanted to go with her sentence, did she want to say sorry? Because the truth was she wasn’t she had every right to be mad. “I’m sorry,” the words fell from her lips she would say anything to try and get rid of the awkwardness in the room. “It’s just… the last few weeks have been hell for me. My mother deciding to print my story, our story.” she quickly corrected herself. “I never wanted you to find out this way…”

“How did you want me to find out then?” it was the first time the male had spoken since she had entered the room.

“I don’t know. I tried to tell you Louis. I really did but you were either too busy being famous or you didn’t care that I was trying to contact you. I know you probably thought cutting me out was the best way but believe me there are better ways… I mean we can’t even talk now without one of us yelling.”

“I didn’t know what to do, everything was becoming harder. Tours, albums everything was becoming overwhelming and our relationship was suffering from it. I thought the best thing to do for both…”

“No the best thing for you was to break it off. I understood that you were going to be busy, schedules would become hectic. I was willing to wait.” Alexa cut in her tone taking a harsher note, she was trying to refrain from yelling considering the twins were sleeping. “And you knew that too, I kept reassuring you that I would wait. I kept saying I would always be there.” tears welled in the brunettes eyes as she spoke. “God I am sick of crying!” she cursed, “I have been crying for the past year and a half. I want it to stop, you being here isn’t helping at all.”

Guilt washed over the male singer as he watched Alexa break down, he felt like the biggest prick stepping toward her the female didn’t have a chance to move away before he had wrapped his arms around her tightly drawing her to him. Hesitantly she wrapped her arms around him. Alexa was scared that if she allowed herself to hold him she wouldn’t want to let go. Inhaling deeply she tried to tame the sobs that were building in her chest but the familiar smell of his cologne, warm embrace and the way the two fit together so well caused her to break.

“I still love you Louis,” she sobbed harshly her tears staining the material of his shirt, “I never stopped,” the words spilled from her lips with the whirl of emotions going through her body and she wanted to regret it but she didn’t. What she regretted was the fact that it had taken so long for her to admit it out loud. She had kept the words locked inside her and finally saying them out loud she realised just how much she did in fact love the male.

Alexa couldn’t see the tears that shine in Louis eyes but from the deep breaths he was taking she realised he was hurting, he was trying to suppress whatever he was feeling. When his arms tightened around her and bowed his head so it pressed against her cheek, his warm breath fanned across her shoulders. It was only when she felt a tear fall on her neck that she pulled away slightly to look up at the male. Tears had began to trail down his cheeks as he fought to keep his breathing normal.

“But I can’t have you,” she whispered. Those words were what broke the male he squeezed his eyes closed and a sob broke his lips. It was all to much for him seeing Alexa cry, hearing that she still loved him, it was all too much. He wanted to re-wind the clock and stop everything from happening. “Louis,” her tone wavered with emotion as she reached out one of her hands cupping the males cheek wiping the moisture from his cheek. “That doesn’t mean your children can’t.” Louis eyes snapped open his eyes shot up to hers even though they were red rimmed she could see the shock in them. A huff of air left his lips before he hugged the female tightly to his body.

“Thank you Lex. Thank you so much.” he whispered over joyed at the news. Alexa allowed herself a small smile as she hugged the male back. Her stomach was knotted with nerves afraid that he might not be able to handle them, that he would up and leave without a single goodbye, shaking her head she rid herself of the thought trying to stay positive.