Everything I Didn't Say

“You a’right?” the question snapped Louis out of his thoughts, Louis was spread out across Harrys spare bed where he planned on spending the night. His blue eyes drifted over to the curly haired male that was hovering in the doorway. Louis heaved a sigh before rolling over so he could sit up.

“I dunno. I’m in one of the worst situations ever,” a light chuckle left the green eyed males lips as he entered the room walking over and taking a seat next to his best friend. The two sat in silence for a few beats before Harry broke it.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Louis shrugged his shoulders and sighed again his head bowing over, his eyes looking down at his hands that hung loosely between his legs. Harry knew he wanted to talk about it but it was going to take a little more for him to stop being so stubborn and let others in to try and help with the situation. “Lou, mate, I’m not going to judge you. If that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“I feel like such an arsehole!” he groaned burying his face in his hands. “I never ever meant for any of this to happen. I loved her so much Harry, so goddamn much but I was scared. I was terrified about everything. We were just beginning, getting so big, everything was becoming more and more stressful. She never left though, she stuck through it all…”

“But?” Harry pressed as he looked at his best friend who still had his face hidden behind his hands.

“But I threw it all away. I left her before our second world tour. I knew how hard it was going to be. I…” the truth stuck in his throat but he forced it out, “truthfully… I did it for myself. I couldn’t go through everything, it was hard enough trying to keep our relationship strong in the lead up to everything so I thought it best just to end it.” by this time Louis had removed his hands from his face and was now looking at Harry. “And she was pregnant Harry, she was fucking pregnant when I left her. I didn’t even give her a chance to tell me. God! Stacey told me everything. Everything she went through and it hurt more then I could imagine. To think that I got back with Eleanor only a few months after I left Alexa.” tears welled in the males eyes as he thought about what he had done. “God! It’s no wonder she hates me.”

“Does she really hate you?” Harry questioned softly. “I think the two of you really need to talk, like talk everything out.”

“We did.”

“Really? Did you really tell her everything?” sighing again the blue eyed singer shook his head turning back and staring at the wall in front of him.

“But what about everything with Eleanor, I’m hurting her, she thinks I am choosing them over her?”

“Are you?”

“What?!” the male nearly yelled as he spun on the curly haired male. Harry sighed raising his hands in a surrender gesture.

“You need to think everything through Lou, you need to figure out what it is you truly want. Do you want to stay with Eleanor or…” he trailed off slightly. “Do you want to get to know your kids better and mend the relationship between you and Lex?”

“What kind of question is that. What if I want both?” Louis spat hotly unable to believe what his friend was asking him. Harry shook his head unable to stop the small smile from spreading across his face.

“But do you really want both Louis? Or are you just saying that so you want hurt anyone?” there was silence between the two before Harry got to his feet. “Make the right decision by you Louis. Even if that means hurting someone for you to find happiness again.” with that the male turned and left the room leaving Louis to look after him his thoughts a muddle of thoughts.

Did he really want both?

Did he really want to stay with someone who broke his heart once and could do it again easily?

Or did he want to try and mend the wound that he had caused with the one person who had loved him through everything?

Running his fingers through his hair he groaned and fell down against his pillow closing his eyes and trying to clear his mind and produce a clear answer.