Fallen Embers

Upon leaving the Sirius building the group made their way to find a place for lunch. Sabrina needed to go back to the penthouse for a change of clothes since she was dropping her new video on MTV today. She had a TRL appearance which was live, and then she had a sit down interview with John Norris which was to be shown before the video world premier later that night along with the Diary MTV filmed. After MTV she had a few call in radio interviews since the single was also dropping on radio.

On the cab ride back to her penthouse, Sabrina placed a call to a pizza joint for a delivery for lunch, so they didn't have to mess around finding something. Before the pizza arrived, Sabrina took the time to go change her top and put on some makeup which was more appropriate for TRL.

As the clock struck 1:30pm, the group which was now also being joined by Beth; got around to head over to the MTV studios for Sabrina's TRL appearance. The crowds were already forming for the older woman and the street was blocked off to contain the crowds. The group arrived at a back entrance to the building so not to tip off the crowds in front.

As Sabrina walked the halls at the MTV offices, she took in the sights and memorabilia that lined the walls. She stopped as one particular item caught her eye. There were pieces of concrete that held imprints of hands and one in particular stood out. She chuckled to herself as she looked at Green Day's piece. She remembered seeing the video of that day in the TRL studio, and Tre talking about Plaster Caster. She laughed at the fact that more than likely no one other than Mike, Billie and Damien had a clue of what Tre meant.

Beth walked up beside Sabrina to glance at the cement hanging on the wall. "I watched that on TV that day, Plaster... " she started to say.

"... Caster!" Sabrina finished for the younger woman. They glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

"I met a guy in college who did that to his penis..." Beth said but then with a scrunched face added, "Tiny little plaster cast. Very unimpressive. Poor guy thought he had the grandest pork in all of Buffalo..."

Sabrina laughed, "One of these days I need to see a plaster cast of a piece of sausage link." She said with a smile.

A few more twists and turns later, they finally ended up in the green room where they would stay throughout the day. Sabrina grabbed a Diet Pepsi and once again said a prayer and thanked the 'Tour Rider Gods' for making sure she always had her favorite things backstage where ever she went.

Beth looked at Sabrina who was happily drinking from her beloved bottle of soda. "Diet Pepsi? Ew. Defeats the entire point of drinking shit that's bad for your teeth." She muttered to no one in general.

Sabrina looked at the sarcastic Beth and smiled, "Well if I knew what YOU liked to eat and drink, it can be added to the rider. That is one perk that I will never get tired of."

Beth looked at the older woman and with a small smirk, "Cherry Pepsi, Very Vanilla Silk soy milk...two things I cannot live without..."

"Toby... " Sabrina said gesturing to her manager.

"Getting on it right now." He replied as he whipped out his phone and made a call.

Within minutes, an intern came in with some cans of Cherry Pepsi and placed them in the fridge. "We didn't have the Very Vanilla Silk soy milk on hand, so someone is going out and getting it now."

"Thank you so much." Sabrina told the intern. "I'm sure that the Cherry Pepsi will be fine until later."

When the intern left, Beth finally found her voice, "Regular vanilla would have been fine... " she began.

"Nope, you prefer Very Vanilla, so Very Vanilla you shall get. Just consider it a perk for being with a 'Rock Star'." Sabrina replied back.

"And if I'd ask for fresh milk squeezed out of an authentic goat's tit from Bern, Switzerland...I could've gotten that too?"

Sabrina smiled, "Yup, though that might have taken a while to fly over. But we'll put it on the rider for next time." She said with a wink.

Beth stared straight faced. Unwavering. "I wasn't serious about the goat's milk," she added after a few moments of silence. "I was only...yeah. Never mind."

Sabrina chuckled again at the younger woman "Welcome to my world, Beth." The blonde patted the seat next her, "Make yourself at home."

Beth shook her head at the lifestyle that she was just starting to experience and more understanding came to her as she pondered what doors opened when you were somebody. "Maybe that's what drove Dad... " she muttered to herself.

"What did you say?" Adie asked.

"Nothing... nothing at all."

After chit chatting a bit, John and Damien came into the room to touch base with Sabrina before TRL. John was subbing in for Vanessa on Sabrina's request. They talked for a few moments before everyone had to go into makeup. Adie and Sabrina were going onstage and Toby and Beth were going to watch from just off stage.

Before Sabrina felt like she blinked, the TRL appearance which was really just a teaser for the special programming later on; was over and the studio was being cleared out and set up for the special interview. Two comfy looking chairs were set up and soon Sabrina and John were settling in for the in-depth interview.

"So Sabrina, this album is your first rock solo album in almost 20 years. Tell me about what started this 'Rebirth' as you call it." John said as he began the interview.

"Well," Sabrina said as she settled into her chair a little bit more. "In March last year, I wasn't doing well and after a pep talk from my friend and manager Toby, who suggested I go out and by Green Day's American Idiot CD. I did and drove around and listened to it. When 'Wake Me Up' played, something snapped in my head. It was like whatever was dragging me down, dropped off of me. I could see more clearly about my future and what I wanted, almost like I finally figured out what I wanted to be when I grow up."

"Is that when you started coming back out into the public view again?"

"Yup. I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wanted to start to live again so I did and I did it my way with a take no bull type of attitude."

"How did your personal life affect this CD?"

Sabrina paused for a minute, she knew that John held back nothing, he was a good interviewer and she knew that these questions were going to come around; this was only the first time of many. "Well, if affected it a lot to the extent of providing me with a secure feeling in which to release some of my inner demons. For example, 'Lisa' I wrote with Billie after we talked about the deaths in our families. 'Only Woman Bleed' would have never come out if Tre and I didn't talk about our pasts one day, which helped me begin to open up about it. The next day at a get together, if Tre and Billie didn't go inside and grab flat tops, then I wouldn't have written the song at all. I was very blessed for that group of people to come into my life at that point in time. Even the divorce spawned its own song, 'Don't'. Write what you know."

"So is there a special someone in your life at the moment?"

The woman laughed, "No. And I'm not looking either."

John looked puzzled, "Why is that?"

Sabrina sighed, "Well, to explain it, I have to go back to my mother and father. My mother always told me that when she met my dad, she knew deep down that they wouldn't have a lot of time together. From the time they met till when he died was just less than 4 years. Growing up I would ask why she didn't find another man; she would just smile and not say anything. Finally when she felt I was old enough, I was about 11; she explained that she met her one true love and she knew that anything else wouldn't compare, so she never looked for love again. 'If it's meant to be, he will find me.' she would say." The woman sighed again and ran a hand through her hair as she continued.

"I never understood that until I met Tre. He was my one true love. I could look into his eyes and see forever in them. I'm 45 years old and I don't want to settle for love. If I am meant to have another true love, then he too shall find me." Sabrina chuckled a bit, "I still hold out hope for the husband, house and 2.4 kids dream. I want to find a husband who will love me and I want to settle down, but I won't do it with just anybody for the sake of not being alone. That's not fair to me or the guy."

"Switching gears, what about touring? The rumor mill is churning that you are on the short list for touring with Green Day when they go out again. How do you feel about that?"

Sabrina paused for a minute, "Business wise, it makes sense to tour with Green Day. I mean the guys helped write songs on my album, I am on Adeline Records, and who wouldn't want to be on Green Day's tour? I mean it will be huge." She took a sip of water from the bottle on the table next to her. "Personally, I still would do it. Mike and Billie Joe and I are friends, really good friends. Even though Tre and I are in a weird place at the moment, we are trying to be able to be around each other. I mean it's not like we are fighting or anything, but it's gets weird sometimes. You know?"

John nodded as Sabrina continued. "Though I think we would be a headache for the techs and roadies. We don't use a set list at all. I pick songs according to crowd reaction. This is fine, since we don't use pyro or anything. Just the light and sound guys have to be on their toes at all times. I mean, one bar gig we did, we ended up playing almost all covers since the crowd wasn't getting into my own stuff."

"Speaking of your band, you just added another guitar player, why?

"Well, I decided that I didn't want to play a lot of guitar this time around and I knew that the sound needed to be fuller because of that, so I added a second guitar player. Beth just started this week, so you can see her in action on Letterman tomorrow night and Saturday on Saturday Night Live Special Summer Episode. She adds another voice and her guitar fills in the missing space between Gary's lead guitar and Dan's keys."

The interview continued for about another hour or so until John felt he had enough material to edit into a decent piece. Sabrina and John shook hands and the woman left to go back to the green room to meet up with everyone and go back to the penthouse.

Later that night, after the radio call in interviews; at 8pm MTV started the push for the world premiere of 'Only Women Bleed'. Beth, Sabrina, Toby and Adie settled in for a night of MTV. They munched on snacks and were drinking as they watched the interview and Diary shows which came on before the video at 9pm. It was weird watching herself, but John did a good job of editing the interview into a half hour piece and didn't make her look like an idiot.

The Diary show was another matter entirely. As the beginning played out, it dawned to Sabrina that she never saw the final cut before it aired, and a quick look to Toby confirmed that thought. The diary showed Sabrina in a not so flattering light as it showed bits and pieces of the week or so that the cameras were there. Not all of it was bad, the part where they went to the video treatment was good, and when Ramona came up to the farm before the video shoot in LA. They showed her and Ramona riding and talking and parts of that night's dinner at the restaurant when Tre called. Sabrina grimaced when she saw herself bite her lip and then plaster a fake smile after Tre had hung up. She wondered if the guys were watching this too in Oakland.

The next part though had her hopping mad. The dinner at Dolce and the conversation she and Mike had outside the club later that night was being shown. She was shown holding his hand as he got upset over his and Brittney's relationship. Sabrina never knew that cameras caught that since that was a private moment for her and Mike, though nothing happened between the two people. She groaned as she figured Mike would have a cow since he tried to keep his private life private, and now it was blasted over prime time television. The show ended on that last note.

Finally with the end of Diary, it was 9pm and time for the world premiere of 'Only Woman Bleed.' The network was going to show the full length video now and only play that after 9pm. The shorter less graphic version was what would be shown during normal times during the day.

Eight minutes later, Sabrina and her friends sat stunned at the final product. She purposely didn't see the final cut because she wanted to see it for the first time with the rest of the world. She was floored at Sam's vision of her song. When the final scene played, which was a public service announcement about domestic violence, Sabrina knew that this video was going to be huge. When she looked over at Adie, she saw the same thought come over the woman that she had herself. Adie smiled at Sabrina, "It's going to be big, and I hope you're ready for it."

Sabrina and Toby's cell phones started going nuts. After 5 minutes of trying to deal with the calls, Toby called the message service and forwarded all calls to them, so he could sort out the messages later. Adie's phone rang with a call from Billie and the boys.

"Hey hunny, how are you?" Adie asked as she answered the call.

"Wow, Adie. That video was powerful. It's going to be huge isn't it? I'm going to call the Label tomorrow and quadruple the printing order for 'Rebirth'. I bet it goes platinum in its first week of sales. Oh my god, I hope we can handle the load." Billie said when his wife answered the phone.

"Well if not, I'm sure the money coming in can help us get more pressings made." Adie said with a confident tone in her voice.

"I hope so. Wow this is really going to put Adeline Records on the map."

"Yup, but we knew this when we heard the album. We knew this would happen."

"I did Adie, but it didn't hit home or seem real until I saw the video. Now it's real and now it's going to happen." He muttered.

Adie laughed at her worrywart husband. "It will all be fine Bill, you'll see. Don't worry about it." She cooed to her husband trying to placate him. "Things are exploding over on my end, so can I call you back when things calm down?"

"Sure Adie, I'll talk to you later babe. Bye... . Wait, Mike called Sabrina's cell and it went to a message service, he wants to talk to her, is she right there?"

"Tell Michael I'll call him in a moment." Sabrina replied to Adie's relaying of the message.

Adie spoke a few more moments into her phone and hung up when she finished. "Mike is not a happy camper." She sighed as she looked at Sabrina, who still hadn't called the man in question. "You really need to call him Sab."

"I know." The woman sighed, "I'm scared because I don't know what he is going to say about the Diary." Sabrina shook her head as she pulled out her phone. With shaky fingers she hit the speed dial button that would connect her to Mike.

When she heard the other line open she blurted out, "I'm so sorry Michael, I didn't know. I didn't know they taped that and would show it. I never saw the final cut; I would have stopped it if I knew... " Her words exploded from her mouth like a volcanic eruption.

"Whoa, Sabrina, can I get a word in edgewise?" Mike finally butted in to say.

"Sorry..."

"Okay. The damage is already done Sabrina. I know Britt was going to leave before I left to go to LA. It was just a matter of time as to when. Nothing I was going to say would've changed anything. Though I'm not happy at the way we were portrayed in the Diary; holding hands and hugging, but oh well. Tre isn't happy about that tender moment though. He keeps giving me dirty looks. I don't understand why, it's not like we did anything that day or you and he were together. Geez." The bassist muttered.

"I don't know Michael, I just know that you like keeping your private life private and this blew it out into the open. I feel really bad, I never meant for that to happen. I feel so... god Michael... "

"It's okay Sab, shit happens to the best of us, besides there is no such thing as bad publicity anyway." He said with a small laugh.

"Are we going be okay after this?" she whispered, "I don't want to lose your friendship over this. I can't take another lose."

"We'll be fine Sab; it will take more than that to push me away."

Sabrina smiled at the younger man's remark, but frowned when she remembered what he said about Tre being angry. She debated about calling him, "Hey Michael, should I call Tre about this or what?" she asked.

"Geez, Sab, I dunno. That's up to you; I can't tell you what to do or not to do."

"Thanks Michael... " she sighed, sounding despondent.

"Call him Sab." He sighed. "Call him I guess it won't hurt."

"Okay, I'll do that now, I'll talk to you later Michael."

"Okay, I love you Sab. It will be okay."

"Love you too Michael, bye." She hung up the phone and tapped it against her chin in thought. She still debated about calling Tre, either it would look like she was doing damage control, or it will help him in stopping the anger. She didn't know which way to go.

Sabrina said a little prayer and hit the speed dial button to call Tre. The phone rang on his end and when it went to his voice mail, Sabrina frowned. "That isn't good." She muttered out loud to no one in particular. She smiled though at hearing his voice mail

Hey this is Tre... or should I say the voice of Tre, since I'm not really here, but rather a figment of your imagination. Before you go completely crazy, leave a message.

"Hi Tre, it's me. I just thought I call to see if you were okay. If you want to talk, call me. You know the number... bye."

She tossed her phone onto the table and rubbed her eyes. "Does anyone mind if I turn in for the night? I'm beat... it's been a long day." Sabrina said as she sat up and stretched and yawned for effect.

"Go ahead Sabrina. We need to be to the SNL studio for rehearsals by 11am, so I'll wake you in time." Toby said as he went over to the table to begin the task of sorting through the messages. She nodded and went into her room and closed the door and got ready for bed.

When Sabrina left the room Beth who had been quiet the whole time finally spoke up. "Are Sabrina and Mike an item or what?"

Now it was Toby's turn to sigh. "She says no, but who knows. I know that they are best friends. She turned to Mike for support after Tre and her divorced. I know Mike went to her place when he and Brittney fell apart. She even took him to visit a friend a Plattsburgh with her..."

"John and Robbie... Now I understand. That's why she was in Plattsburgh. I have been wondering for a while how she knew them." Beth interrupted.

"Yea, John and Robbie; Sabrina went to college with John." Toby nodded absently, "But she swears there is nothing between her and Mike, but who knows. Not my place anyway. She and Mike are adults, so what they do is their own business."

"I guess, but geez... how fucked up is that. If she can't have Tre then she goes for Mike? I mean really... " Beth began before Toby interrupted her.

"As I said before, SHE says there is nothing going on, and that's what WE go by. END of discussion, period." Toby stated in a no-nonsense tone. Beth glowered at the manager but knew that arguing wasn't going to change anything.

Tre walked out of Billie's living room and into the kitchen and sat down heavily on one of the chairs at the table. He couldn't believe what he saw; Sabrina and Mike, his ex-wife and his best friend acting so lovey dovey right in front of the cameras. He was so angry he couldn't see straight and he didn't know why. And she said she still loved him but she went and fucked his best friend and brother for life. His phone rang and when he saw who it was, the glass that he was holding in his hand suddenly went flying across the room in a fit of fury and exploded upon contact with the wall.

Billie came running in at the noise and found Tre standing in front the shattered remains of the glass with his fists balled up by his side, muttering about Sabrina cheating on him. Billie stood there and was puzzled at Tre's words, and when Mike walked into the room all hell broke loose.

With a growl that came deep from his bowels, Tre lunged at Mike as he came into the room. The smaller man had the taller one pinned to the floor and was throwing wild punches in what seemed to be the blink of an eye. Billie blinked in shock until he saw Tre pummeling Mike; and then he was able to try to pull the drummer off his friend. With a groan Billie tugged on Tre's waist and Mike pushed at the same time which resulted in the drummer landing on his ass with a thump.

"What the fuck dude?" Mike yelled to Tre who was clenching his fists and almost snarling at the larger man.

"It's not, what the fuck; it's actually WHO did you fuck." The drummer spit out.

Mike stared at his friend and the dawn of recognition came to his eyes. Sabrina, this was about Sabrina. He took a deep shaky breath and hung his head.

"Oh my god, you did... " Tre began.

"Tre... " Mike started

"When... Dammit... " The smaller man interrupted through clenched teeth, "When did you fuck my wife?"

"Wife? She was your ex-wife and it was later that night after we heard 'Rebirth' for the first time."

"Fuck you... "

"No, Tre. I waited for you to follow her. When she ran out of the studio, you could have gone after her and you didn't. When I finally found her, she was barely functioning. We went to Rudy's to eat and talk and she started to cry and she turned it off. It was scary to see, like a faucet, with a swallow she stopped it. I asked why she wasn't crying and she said she was scared to, that she was unsure of what would happen if she finally let go of the control over her emotions." Mike began.

"Fuck you Pritchard."

"No Tre, Fuck you. I was the one who held her as she cried her heart out over you. I was the one who held her as the gut wrenching sobs wracked her body. I was the one who held her until she finally quieted down and feel asleep in my arms."

"And then you fucked her..."

"No, and then I carried her up to my bedroom so she could sleep. I went over to the couch and watched TV. I must have fallen asleep 'cause I woke up when she turned off the TV. I heard her go out onto the porch and start sobbing again, over YOU Tre. I went out and held her again and I kinda happened from there." He said sheepishly.

Tre snorted, "Kinda happened, right. You kinda happened to put your dick into my wife."

"Tre, Sabrina is your EX-WIFE, you should know, you filled the divorce paperwork." Mike retorted getting angry at the drummer.

"I only did what she wanted... you were there, you heard her tell me to go."

"Yes, I did, and I also know it was a line of HORSESHIT. Hello, did you not see how miserable she was after you moved out... ? Did you not see her waste away to nothing after the divorce paperwork... ? Did you not HEAR that last song on her album? I mean come on; she loves you to this day. How can you not know that?" Mike explained.

"I know that, but I can't let her SAY that. The day in the hospital was one of the worst days of my life. To see the woman I love, tell me to go. I thought I was gonna die myself. To know that our baby; the one that she didn't have a chance to tell me about was gone. Don't you know that I think about that EVERY day? She would have been about 8 months along; her belly would be so big and the baby moving around, almost ready to pop out." Tre smiled as he thought about that. "I wonder if it was a girl or a boy. I would have loved to have a little girl, just as pretty as her momma running around or what about a boy, who might have taken after me." He sighed. "She says those 3 words and I get scared, I don't think I could go through that again." He said admitted quietly.

"So that's what happened in LA... " Mike muttered to no one in particular.

Tre sat back down at the table and put his head in his hands. "I got scared, I love her so much, but I don't want to EVER hurt like that again. I don't know what happened in her head, and who knows if it will happen again."

Billie and Mike sat down next to their friend and each placed a hand on his back. "It's okay Tre. Adie and I were in that place once, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody." said Billie while rubbing Tre's back.

"Mike, I'm sorry... I lost my head for a minute. I mean, Sabrina deserves a life and it's not like I have been virginal or anything. I mean I've gone on a few 'dates'." The drummer admitted.

"Whatshername, Jill... right?" Mike said with a grin.

Tre smiled back, "Yea, Jill is her name. We have gone on a few dates, but nothing serious. I like her." He shrugged.