The Lunacy Fringe

I learned early in my friendship with Billie that she liked to dance when drunk. She twirled me around the room with our arms linked. She laughed fully and heartily, which was one of my favorite things about her. Billie was an optimist. She was happy. And it made perfect sense for her to feel the way she did about Quinn. They were both uncommonly happy people.

"Oh my God!" she shouted as the song changed. "I love this song, Ruby!"

"Billie, I have a confession. I also love this song." She smiled.

"I love you more than I love this song, though, Ruby."

"I also love you more than this song. Even though I just moved here."

"What you really mean to say is that if you weren't madly in love with Felix, you might be madly in love with me. Am I right?" I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"For the most part, I guess." She giggled and pulled me into a sloppy hug, spilling her beer on the floor.

"We should get friendship necklaces!" she decided.

"That's a great idea, but it might make Quinn jealous. He claimed me as his best friend earlier."

"Quinn gets to be your brother. So he can bite me."

"I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Shhh. Shush. Don't say that out loud." She shoved her finger against my lips in an attempt to silence me.

"You just told the whole room I was in love with Felix, and I've talked to him like three times in my entire life. So I think we're even."

"I never said that!"

"You just did!"

"Well, it's true!"

"It is absolutely not true!" She sighed heavily and looked at me with drunken and out-of-focus eyes.

"Well—he's a nice guy. But, he just—can't keep a girlfriend for very long," she explained.

"That's fine. I'm not interested."

"But you're interested in the green eyes, aren't you?" I nodded and crinkled my nose.

"Maybe—a little bit. Just the eyes, though. Maybe also the rest of his face. His hair too. He has nice hair." She gasped.

"Doesn't he? Isn't it unfair? And the eyelashes?"

"Right? What the hell?" She pulled me back into a dance, forgetting our conversation already. "Hold on. I need to go to the bathroom," I told her. "Can you hold my drink?" I handed the cup over, and she waved me away.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure," she said. Then she took a big gulp of my beer as if she immediately forgot it was mine.

I proceeded down the hall to the only bathroom in the house. Thankfully, no one was using it. So I locked myself up inside and examined myself in the mirror. My hair was a bit messy from dancing, but I couldn't focus well enough on the rest of myself to get a good idea.

When I finished, I opened the door and headed back out into the hallway. I was expecting it to be empty, but it wasn't. Suddenly my way was blocked, and I was startled for half a second before realizing who was standing in front of me. Felix.

"Hey, whoa, sorry," he said after bumping into me.

"Were you trying to get me alone?" I asked. He returned the smile.

"I was trying to get to the bathroom, actually, but I won't complain." Then his hand was on my hip, and I swayed closer to him. I was apparently a lot more daring and reckless when drunk because my arms immediately wrapped around his shoulders. I wasn't even sure if he'd actually pulled me closer or if he'd just put his hand on my hip to guide me out of the way.

"So now that you do have me alone…," I started but never finished. He leaned forward, and I moved to meet him.

Then I decided he was probably just as drunk as I was, but I didn't care at that moment. He had nice lips, and even drunk, he was a great kisser. He stepped forward, and I leaned up against the wall. My heart was pounding, and I could taste beer on his lips.

But it wasn't perfect. Not for a first kiss. He was good at it, but there was no romance. No sweetness. Just two drunk teens making out in an empty hallway next to a bathroom. And once I realized how awful that was, I also remembered something else.

Felix had a girlfriend.

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, fighting through the fog of intoxication. "What about Meg?" He shrugged.

"She's not here," he replied like that was a good enough reason to be making out with strange girls in hallways.

"That's—absolute bullshit, actually. If you guys have problems, you should work it out with her, not me. I don't even know you." I shoved him away from me and headed back to the party. He didn't say anything to me. Just disappeared into the bathroom like this was no big deal.

But then I was just angry. Angry and hurt and upset. And also really, really drunk. And that was, of course, a terrible combination. I wanted to kiss him, and that's what hurt the most. But I definitely didn't imagine it happening in a dark hallway on a drunken whim. At least not for the first one. I didn't really know that Meg girl. She'd never been outright mean to me or anything. So I had no reason to dislike her other than I was just jealous and petty. But I definitely wasn't jealous and petty enough to make out with her boyfriend when she wasn't around.

Only I did do that.

And the worst part is that I didn't even do it to be jealous and petty. I'd just forgotten about her.

So I pinched my eyes shut and leaned against the wall. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want anyone else to see it.

"I saw that," Quinn said, sliding in to stand beside me.

"Exactly how much did you see? Because you might have missed the part where I got angry and pushed him away?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"I was referring to how you just smacked your head on the wall, but who did you push away exactly?" I shook my head and sighed.

"Just forget it."

"It was Felix, wasn't it?" I glanced back at him, and even though he looked like his usual happy self, there was a tightness in his jaw. As if it was just for show. As if he expected something like this.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's what he's good at," he replied, tone flat. "He's not really the kind of guy who wants to fall in love, Ruby. He's a good friend—a loyal friend who will always have your back. But you don't want to go down that road with him. It won't end well."

"I have no plans to go down that road," I told him. I pushed away from the wall and decided to find Billie, but Quinn followed me.

"Hey, do you want to go home?" I took a moment to answer. I thought about hanging out with Billie again, but that meant I would likely bump into Felix again. And he was the last person I wanted to run into. So I nodded and turned back to him.

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

"It's not a problem. Let me just say goodbye to a couple of people. If that's okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll meet you in the car, yeah?"

"I'll be right there."