The Lunacy Fringe

The next day, Billie decided to go through my closet to find something for me to wear to the party. I sat on my bed reading a magazine and flipping through pages. Only occasionally glancing up at her as she made noises and squeaked when pulling things off hangers.

“Wear this,” she finally decided, plopping a patterned dress down on the foot of my bed.

“Okay,” I said, pulling it closer to examine it. “How should I do my hair?”

“Loose. Free. Makes for better makeout sessions.” I laughed and got up to change in my closet. When I stepped out, I lifted my hands and showed off the paisley dress. “Perfect,” she said. “Now, let me do your makeup.” I flopped back down on my bed so she could fix my face.

She ended up going with a wrap dress she found in my closet that actually fit over her boobs, and then she wore her regular shoes and demanded I wear some boots. When we finished getting ready, we headed out to say goodbye to my dad. He was sitting in front of the TV, as usual.

“Hey, Dad. We’re leaving,” I informed him. He looked up at us and smiled.

“You guys look nice.”

“Well, thank you.” But then he switched right back to concerned parent mode.

“There won’t be any drinking at this party, right?”

“I’m sure there will be. But I won’t be partaking of it.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“It’s okay if you do, but call for a ride. Don’t let anyone drive. What about Quinn?”

“Quinn promised me he wouldn’t touch another alcoholic beverage until he’s at least eighteen.”

“Good.”

“I won’t either,” Billie said, lifting her hand. “Just so you know. I’m a follower. Not a leader.” I laughed and pushed her toward the door. Then I went to hug my dad goodbye.

“Be careful,” he said when I stood back up.

“I will, Dad. See you later.”

“Bye, Kid. Have fun.”

“We will.”

We headed out and found Felix waiting by the jasmines.

“Ladies,” he said with a nod. Then Quinn appeared a second later, swinging his keys on his finger.

“How’s it hanging, dudettes? Let’s go,” he said. I smacked his arm, and Billie shoved him toward the car.

Since this wasn’t technically a real party, we all met up at Fred’s house in the garage where he stored his drums. Billie and I went to sit down on the old beat-up couch, and the guys messed around with their equipment.

“Where’s Jack?” Quinn asked while I admired Billie’s new nail polish.

“Jack’s grounded,” Aaron informed him.

“Crap. How are we supposed to do this without Jack?”

“It’s just rhythm. We probably don’t need it.”

“What about Ruby?” I heard Felix ask. And my head shot upright as they all turned to look at me.

“What about Ruby what?” I asked.

“You play guitar, right?”

“No, no, no. Not really. I’m not very good. Not as good as you.” He shrugged.

“She’s lying,” Quinn told them. “My dad taught her.” They all nodded as if this explained everything. My dad was great. He’d even had a band once. Had a lot of potential. But then he’d gotten his girlfriend pregnant and gave up on his dreams to raise me.

“Just try it,” Felix suggested.

“Go for it,” Billie pushed. I looked back at her with wide, terrified eyes.

“I’ll puke,” I admitted. She laughed and stood up.

“It’s just the boys and me. C’mon. It’ll be fun.” She yanked me to my feet and dragged me to their little set. But my heart was beating fast, and I thought I would faint.

“I have a cast,” I reminded them.

“No worries,” Quinn shrugged. “We’re just jamming. You jam with Dad all the time.”

“That’s different.”

“Just try. If you still don’t want to after you try, then we won’t force you. We’ll just be really disappointed in you.” I took a deep breath, and Felix held out Jack’s guitar. I wasn’t sure how Jack would feel about me touching his guitar. One, it was a Flying V, which I thought was hideously ugly. And two, there was something sacred about touching another person’s instrument.

“I hate Flying Vs,” I whispered as I reached for it, scrunching up my nose. Felix smiled crookedly.

“You can take mine if you want. It’s just a Squire. Nothing special,” he suggested. I nodded slowly. I was more familiar with a Squire.

“Alright, yeah. I can play it.” He pulled the strap off of his shoulders and traded guitars with me. I got it over my head and watched him adjust Jack’s ugly guitar to suit his broader, taller frame. Billie hurried to my side and took my hand, pulling me down to her level.

“Just so you know,” she whispered, “Felix never lets anyone use his guitars.” Then she grinned and rushed back to the couch to watch.

Everyone got settled in, and I stood there trying to focus on breathing, so I didn’t fall over from nerves. I played with my dad because I was comfortable with him. I didn’t mind playing things in close settings with people I trusted or people who didn’t play, but playing with a whole band? That was something I was unfamiliar with. And I knew Felix was talented. And he was the last person I wanted to judge me.

“Anyone have any requests?” Quinn asked through the microphone. There were a few people in the garage I didn’t know. Some friends of Aaron and Fred’s older brothers. I heard some suggestions, but I still couldn’t breathe. “Did I hear Zeppelin?” Quinn asked. Someone agreed by cheering loudly. He turned back to me. “Do you know any Zeppelin?” I took a deep breath and nodded.

“Black Dog, maybe?” I tried, worried. I had spent some time in my room trying to memorize the song. But I’d never played it outside my bedroom and in front of anyone other than my dad. Quinn looked at the group, and everyone nodded in agreement. Felix suggested taking up rhythm since I clearly hadn’t practiced it as much. Then my heart began to beat faster. Of course, they were all on the same page. They’d practiced this song enough that Felix could switch from lead to rhythm without worry.

“Good, we’ll start on four. You got this, Ruby?” I nodded quickly.

“I’ll try.”

“Alright. One, two, three, four.”

I started a little slower than everyone else. I was trying to do what I always did in Music class: just to tune everyone else out. I couldn’t tune out the band without messing up even worse. But I could pretend that the garage wasn’t full of people. I could tune them out enough to pretend I was just playing along with my record player like I did in my bedroom. After a moment, I got the hang of their rhythm. They were patient with me and gave me time to catch up. And once I did, I could finish the song without any problems.

And I loved every second of it.

I’d never played with a band before. There was a point in time when I’d decided to start an all-girl rock band with my friends in Detroit. But none of them really knew how to play anything. My dad’s lessons always ended up being abandoned in favor of pizza and cookies. And after the initial brief moment of complete panic, I began to relax. Even then, I knew it was where I truly belonged. Alongside them. Playing music. Making sounds. We fit like puzzle pieces. Lining up perfectly to make something beautiful.

“Wow, Ruby, you did it!” Quinn said once we finished up. I beamed back at him. “For a moment there, I didn’t think you’d catch up. But then you just jumped right in and kicked Felix’s ass. No offense, Felix.” Felix just laughed.

“I’m not offended. She’s great,” he said. He was fiddling with Jack’s guitar, and I was blushing.

“I was really nervous. And my cast makes it a little challenging,” I explained.

“Is this your first time playing with a band?” Quinn asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Awesome. We should totally teach you some of our songs.”

“Why would we do that?” Freddy asked from behind his drum set.

“So she can jam with us.”

“But Jack’s our rhythm guitarist.”

“I know that. I’m not trying to replace him. I just thought it would be cool if she could jam with us sometimes. Plus, Jack’s grounded all the fucking time. It would be nice to still be able to practice when he’s locked up.”

“I can teach her,” Felix suggested.

“No.” Just like that. No explanation. Just a flat “no” like I couldn’t make that decision for myself.

“Why not? I wrote the songs. I wrote Jack’s parts. Who better to teach her than the person who wrote them? You honestly think Jack will be able to? Or that he’ll even want to?”

Quinn seemed to be weighing this out in his mind. Jack seemed to want to be everything people said Felix was. He made perverted comments. Frequently looked down mine and Billie’s shirts. Amy once told me he’d grabbed her ass at a school dance, and she’d elbowed him in the nose. He’d never done it again. But it was clear that he wanted to be liked, especially by girls.

On the other hand, Felix seemed to get that reputation through a combination of uncommonly good looks and an angry ex-girlfriend. Felix was respectful of boundaries. So while the decision wasn’t Quinn’s to make, I think he came to the same conclusion that it was mine. Felix and I might clearly have the hots for each other, but Felix would never push me into something I didn’t want. Jack was 100% more likely to put his hands on me, unprovoked and unwanted.

I would die before I let Jack teach me how to play his stupid ugly guitar.

“Fine,” Quinn decided. “But I have to be there.”

“She doesn’t need a babysitter. I think she’s old enough to take care of herself and decide for herself.”

“She does with you.” He rolled his eyes and sat down on an amplifier.

“Whatever,” he said, irritated. Quinn turned back to where I was standing with my hand on my hip.

“You guys done making my decisions for me? Or should I ask permission before I speak?” I asked. Quinn sighed.

“Fine. Who would you rather teach you? Jack or Fe…?”

“Felix.”

“That was a quick decision.”

“Yeah. Well, Felix doesn’t play an ugly guitar, wrote the songs, and isn’t going to try and get a peek down my shirt.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Well, if he does, he won’t be as obvious about it.” Felix snorted and shook his head. Then he looked back at us.

“Sorry,” he muttered before going back to the guitar on his lap.

“Fine. It’s your decision,” Quinn said.

“Yeah, I know,” I retorted. “And I’m perfectly capable of being alone with him. This isn’t the Victorian era. I don’t need a chaperone.”

“Ruby….”

“I swear to God, Quintin.”

“Quintin?!” Aaron shouted from the other side of the small stage area. “Your name is Quintin?!”

“Shut it!” He and Freddy burst into laughter, and Quinn glared at me.

“You have anything else to say, or should I tell them your middle name too?” I suggested.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” He groaned.

“Fine. What else do you know?” The boys were still laughing. Well, aside from Felix and Quinn. Felix was still focused on his guitar, and Quinn was trying to get over the fact that I’d shared his real name with everyone.

“I don’t know. A few things. You can just name the songs you guys know, and I’ll tell you if I’ve learned it yet.”

We tried a few more songs. Some more successful than others. And then we decided to take a break. Felix and Freddy disappeared into the house to find drinks, and I took my seat beside Billie. We were both grinning when I plopped down beside her.

“That was awesome,” she said.

“Thanks! I’ve never played with a band before. It was so much fun.” I gazed around the room and found Quinn messing with his microphone. Then I turned back to Billie and nodded toward him. “Hey, why don’t you go—uh—talk to Quinn?” I wiggled my eyebrows for added effect. Her cheeks went pink.

“Yeah, I guess I can try. Be back in a minute.”

“Okay. Have fun.” She giggled and trotted over to him. They shared a few words I couldn’t make out before she took his hand and pulled him into the house. I smiled when they were gone, and then I ended up stuck there by myself, picking at the hem of my dress.

“Got you a soda,” I heard. Felix was standing before me, holding a can out to me. I took it and smiled.

“Thanks.” He sat down next to me and cracked open his drink.

“Where’d Quinn and Billie disappear to? Or should I say, Quintin and Wilhelmina?”

“She’ll kill you if she finds out you spilled her real name.” He smiled and took a sip of his drink.

“She won’t. She’ll just tell you what my middle name is, and then we’ll be even.”

“That bad, huh?”

“In the US, yes. In France? Probably still yes.”

“You’re French?”

“Canadian. My mom, actually. Well—technically, me too. I was born there, but that was kind of a fluke.”

“I didn’t realize. I thought you were Greek.”

“That would be my dad.”

“Oh—well, it’s a good combination.” He looked at me and smiled, eyebrows raised in question. “I mean—you know—you’re cute.” He grinned.

“And where can we trace your cuteness from?” I nearly snorted.

“Hungary. Ireland. Probably a few more places.”

“Good combination,” he decided. I was blushing like mad. So I had to change the subject.

“To answer your question, they ran off together somewhere.”

“Hypocrites.” I laughed, and he smiled at me. I was dying. I would die before the night was over. I could feel it in the way my brain felt like it was full of fluff. “Want to go outside with me?” To my death?

“Sure.”

We stood up, and I followed him back into the house and out through the kitchen. People were already on the grass, hanging out, drinking beer, dancing, and listening to the record player someone had put on. The night was warm. The air was humid and stuffy. The stars were out but drowned by the light from the house. Bugs flicked around the lights. A snail made its way across the sliding glass door. Felix led me out onto the lawn, and we looked around for Quinn, but he and Billie were nowhere in sight. Then Felix turned his eyes back to me.

“Want to dance?” he asked. My heart began to pound again. This is it—the end.

“I’m not really the dancing type,” I admitted.

“It’s alright. It’s kind of slow. I can help you.”

“Oh—okay.”

We put our drinks on the railing just as the song changed, but it stayed slow enough for us to dance to. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto the soft grass. I put my hands on his shoulders, unsure of what I was doing. I’d been to dances before. With Randy. But I always felt like it was awkward and weird. I really didn’t want it to be like that with Felix.

“This is a good first dance song,” he decided after a moment. As the awkwardness began to melt away, I found a comfortable place in his arms.

“Vanilla Fudge, am I right?” He laughed.

“You know the day we met? You smelled like vanilla. And there’s the whole ‘you keep me hanging on’ part.” I smiled as he looked down at me, studying my face as if he wanted to commit this night to memory. “You smell like vanilla right now too.”

“Like vanilla fudge?” He laughed and pinched his eyes shut, clearly embarrassed.

“Is that even a thing?” I shook my head.

“I have no idea. But it sounds really sweet. Like gross kind of sweet.” He opened his eyes again.

“Nah,” he decided. “Not the gross kind of sweet.”

“The lyrics are literally ‘get out of my life. Set me free.’” He laughed again.

“I really wasn’t thinking this through, was I?” I couldn’t help but burst into giggles.

“Not really.”

“Next song, then. More romantic. Of course, I’m not in charge of the music, so I bet it’ll be something stupid.”

“This one’s fine. In an almost desperate sort of way. What song would you pick if you had control of the music, though?” He shut his eyes again, groaned, and leaned forward to drop his head onto my shoulder. I liked this position too much to make him move. So I moved my hands down his back and rested my head on his shoulder also. Then I closed my eyes.

“You know Your Song by Elton John?” he asked, breathing against my neck. My heart did another dance in my chest.

“Of course I do,” I told him.

“That’s a good one.”

“Yeah—it is.”

We didn’t say anything else until the song ended a few minutes later. I didn’t want to let him go yet, but he didn’t try. I liked the way he was holding me. I had both my arms wrapped around his waist under his arms. One of his hands was on my shoulder, the other at the small of my back. I had my head on his chest, and his cheek was resting on top of my head. It was close and comfortable, and even though my stomach kept rolling, I didn’t want to move for anything.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, not caring that the song had changed. And it was, in fact, stupid.

“Sure,” I replied.

“Why do you like me?”

“A lot of reasons.”

“Is it because you think I’m good-looking?” I almost thought it was a joke at first, but he sounded serious. And then I realized he probably got that a lot. So I decided to answer seriously.

“I mean—you are good-looking. But no, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” I sighed.

“I don’t know. It’s just—sometimes I feel like you get me differently. You like the same music as me. You care about it the same way I do. You laugh at the right jokes. You say silly things sometimes that just make you so—sweet and adorable. And my heart starts beating fast whenever you’re around me, and my head goes all fuzzy. You’re always so nice to me. I like when you touch me, and my heart jumps. Or when you look at me, and it’s like you’re really seeing me for who I am and not just who I appear to be on the outside. It’s nice, I guess.”

“You kind of scare me a little bit.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“You’re just—honest.”

“Were you expecting a different answer?”

He opened his mouth to reply, but it never came out.

“Really?” someone said. In that ‘I’m obviously really pissed about this’ tone that made us pull apart. Quinn was standing on the porch, leaning against the rail and glaring at us.

“Quinn, can you please knock it off?” I said, but he ignored me. He was staring at Felix, looking angrier by the second.

“We should talk,” he said. Felix looked down at me and nodded.

“I’ll be right back,” he told me.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to him. I can make my own decisions,” I pointed out. He smiled.

“I know. It’s not that. Don’t worry about me.”

“Alright.” He left me on the grass and followed Quinn back into the house. Billie rushed to my side.

“Oh no,” she said.

“I thought you guys left,” I reminded her.

“No. We were just—well, I think he was distracted for a while, but that wasn’t really my intention, you know? And then he just seemed to realize we’d left you alone in the garage and well….”

“You don’t think they’ll start fighting, do you?”

“I don’t know. Quinn is REALLY against the idea of you and Felix.”

“Billie, your hair is really messed up.”

“We were kind of making out.”

“Really? That’s awesome!”

“I know, but it won’t be so awesome if Quinn punches Felix.”

“Why would he? He doesn’t own me.”

“No, but he doesn’t trust Felix. And I think they may have had some kind of deal or something. I think this goes a little beyond him just wanting to protect his sister.” I chewed on my fingernail and looked toward the house.

“Maybe we should go inside,” I suggested.

“Probably. C’mon.” She took my hand and pulled me back into the house, but I couldn’t see them anywhere. “I think they’re in the garage.”

“Do you think they’d really fight over this? It’s stupid and childish. I’m not property.”

“Like I said, I don’t think it has much to do with you beyond whatever stupid deal they made. I think it’s more about Felix breaking that deal.”

“Ugh.”

“Exactly. But I don’t want to go into the garage, just in case they really are fighting.” She turned back to me.

“Me neither. Should we find someone to break them up?”

“Where did Aaron and Fred go?”

Luckily, we didn’t have to go looking for them. The garage door opened a second later, and Felix stormed out. He looked angry, and it was apparent they’d fought. Though not physically, as far as I could tell.

“Ruby, would you like to come with me?” he asked, motioning toward the door. I hurried to follow him.

“Don’t you dare take her with you!” Quinn shouted from behind us. Felix pushed the front door open, and we stepped out into the front yard.

“What’s going on?” I asked him.

“Nothing. Just come with me, please? If you want?” he asked. He turned back to me, and I looked at the door where Quinn had just appeared, looking even angrier than Felix.

“Ruby,” he said quietly with a shake of his head. “Don’t.”

I didn’t want to be the reason they were fighting. I didn’t want to come between them, but I didn’t want to stay with Quinn either. I wanted to spend time with Felix. I wasn’t sure if I trusted him yet, but that was my decision to make. I was willing to take the risk. I wanted to have that choice, and Quinn was acting like I had no say in this.

“I don’t want to stay here,” I admitted. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do. I can handle myself.” Then I took Felix’s hand and pulled him toward the sidewalk.

“You don’t know him like I do,” Quinn said from behind me.

I ignored it, and he didn’t follow us. Felix still seemed upset, though, so we walked quietly for a long time before he finally calmed down. We reached the end of the darkened street and looked both ways. He let go of my hand and pulled me in close by the waist.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked.

“Anywhere.” He decided to turn left and cross the street. “So what happened?” I asked when we continued our walk on the other side.

“He’s pissed at me.”

“I gathered that.”

“He thinks I’m just hanging out with you because I want to get laid.”

“But that’s not true, though, right?” He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. He was silent as he looked me over.

“I know you’ve probably heard a lot of horrible things about me. But I promise—most of them aren’t true. And I’ve never—that’s not what I want from you, okay? You’re my best friend’s sister. If that was all I wanted—I wouldn’t throw away a decade of friendship to get it.”

“Why me then?”

“Just you.” I nodded slowly.

“But that’s part of it, though, isn’t it? I mean—if things went well enough. It could lead to that, right?” He shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about it. A lot. But—at present—it’s not what I’m interested in.”

“What are you interested in?” He touched his fingers to my temple, lightly brushing my hair aside and making butterflies dance in my stomach again.

“This,” he said. Then he moved his other hand to my chest, setting his palm above my heart. He could probably feel it beating a mile a minute. “And this.”

“That’s a good answer.” He smiled and stepped away from me. Then he looked down the road, shadowed by all the trees on either side.

“He’s my best friend,” he told me. “He’s done a lot for me. Been my best friend since we were kids. I’d never betray him like that. Not if I didn’t think it was worth the risk. And I don’t want us to spend the rest of our lives—pining for each other—all because he thinks he can decide what we do.” I nodded again and reached out to take his hand.

“I’m sorry I asked.” His eyes flicked back to mine.

“Don’t be. I would have asked too if I were you.”

“So, where are we going?” He smiled again.

“There’s a park not far from here. Not very big. Small stretch of grass and nothing more. But the neighbors have horses.”

“That sounds good to me.”