The Lunacy Fringe

The next morning, I woke to the sound of my phone ringing on my nightstand. My eyes popped open.

"What the hell?" I said, glancing at the clock. I considered just waiting for my dad to get it, but he probably wasn't awake yet, either. So I reached over for it.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Time to wake up," Billie sang.

"Billie? What the hell? It's like seven in the morning on a Saturday."

"It's prom day."

"That's in like ten hours."

"So what? Prom day is important."

"I don't care about the prom. I'm only going because you're making me."

"And because Felix asked you."

"If it means I have to wake up at seven in the morning on the weekend, I'd rather go on a fast-food date."

"Get up. I'm coming over so we can get ready."

"Fuck off." I hung up and rolled back over.

I wasn't sure how long I slept for, but it seemed like only a few minutes before something poked me in the back.

"Wakey wakey, eggs, and bakey," Billie sang—this time from my bedroom.

I lifted my arm to flip her off. And then someone laughed—someone who was definitely not Billie. I turned my head slowly to find Quinn and Felix in my bedroom. Quinn was half lying in my chair by the desk, and Felix was sitting on the floor beside him. They both looked half asleep. I silently prayed I didn't look too horrible. And then I glared up at Billie, standing beside my bed holding a mug innocently as if she didn't just bring Felix into my bedroom first thing in the morning.

"I hate you," I said. She smiled and lifted the cup. "That better be for me, or we're not friends anymore."

"It is. Your dad made it for you. I don't know what you like." I sat up and took the mug from her. It was still hot, and I didn't usually drink coffee unless I was super tired. And okay, I was used to getting up early every day during the week. But I could sleep like the best of them. And if I had my way, I'd never be up before ten.

"Did I mention that I hate you?" I asked, taking a cautious sip.

"Oh yes. Several times."

"Good. I don't look like a troll or anything, do I?"

"No, you look like someone who just woke up. But very lovely otherwise."

"I'm still mad at you."

"But you don't hate me anymore, so we're making progress." I glared at her again. "Gosh, you're grumpy in the morning."

"I wasn't ready to get up. I was planning on sleeping all weekend. It was going to be great. What'd she do to make you guys get out of bed?"

"She threatened me with a knife," Quinn told me.

"She threatened to set my bed on fire," Felix said. I nodded.

"I wouldn't put it past her," I muttered.

"At least you got coffee," Quinn replied.

"Why'd she even get you guys up anyway?"

"She wanted to make sure we were all taking this seriously. Also, she said she needed help getting you up. Said you were being difficult."

"Well, not difficult exactly," Felix added. "She said you told her to fuck off and hung up on her." He laughed.

"Why do I have to get up early anyway?" I asked, turning back to Billie.

"We have so much to do, buttmunch," she said.

"Like what?"

"We have an appointment at the salon to get our hair, nails, and makeup done."

"All stuff we can do ourselves."

"Ruby, it'll be fun! Stop being a stick in the mud! It's eight in the morning! Not four!"

"So what were you guys planning on doing once she got me out of bed?" I asked the boys again. They both shrugged.

"I was just gonna go back to bed," Felix admitted.

"Did I mention that I hate you too?" He smiled crookedly. It was almost enough to make me want to get up. Mostly so I could join him in bed and fall asleep in his arms. But I knew that was never going to happen.

"Up, up!" Billie said.

"Fine. God. At least get out so I can get dressed." The boys got up and left the room, but Billie stayed behind. "Why are you going all out for this?" I asked as I climbed out of bed.

"Because I want it to be special," she said. And then I felt really guilty.

"It will be, Bill. But I promise it'll be special even if you don't get up early and do a bunch of stuff. Quinn doesn't care. He loves you."

"Did—did he say that?" Shit. I wasn't supposed to say anything.

"Um…." I ignored it and went to my closet. "Billie, what should I wear today?" I was hoping to distract her. But she wasn't buying it.

"Do you know something I don't?" she asked.

"What? No. I don't know anything. I was just saying—is all." I went back to my clothes. She stared at the cowboy wallpaper for a minute.

"Just wear whatever you want. Whatever's comfortable," she finally decided. I nodded and went with jeans and a maroon Ramones shirt. She sat at my desk while I got dressed, and then the two of us headed downstairs to see what my dad was doing in the kitchen. He was cooking. Felix and Quinn were both sitting, bleary-eyed, at the table.

"Dad, you're cooking?" I asked, scooting my chair out.

"Had nothing better to do today," he replied.

"I thought you had, like—band stuff."

"Nope. Already looking into booking a few gigs. I'll have more info on Monday."

"Sweet."

He served up a couple of plates of eggs and handed them to everyone in turn. We were all silent as we ate.

"I thought you said he was a bad cook," Quinn said between bites.

"He's good at making breakfast," I explained. My dad was busy pouring everyone's orange juice.

"This is really good," Felix remarked.

"Did you already eat breakfast?" Billie asked. He looked at her from across the table and stared at her as if he'd forgotten.

"So what?" he finally decided. She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

After we finished, the boys went back to Felix's house. Probably to sleep. Jerks. Then Billie dragged me to the salon. We spent nearly all day there getting the full treatment. And by full, I mean it was free since Billie's cousin worked there, and we were worked on between clients. So we spent a lot of time reading magazines in the waiting area. But still.

Afterward, we got rides home so we could get ready separately. And pretty much the entire day was already over. Then I understood why Billie was so eager to get an early start.

So I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my dad because it was still too early to get dressed, and I didn't know what else to do.

"Why are you sitting up so straight?" my dad asked. I usually sat half lying on the pillows.

"Billie threatened to cut off my head if I messed up my hair," I explained.

"I see. It looks very nice. Very Charlie's Angles."

"Thanks. I think that's what she was going for."

He went quiet. I don't think he was used to this kind of stuff. I wouldn't call myself a tomboy, but I didn't get dressed up often. Mostly because I didn't know how. Billie was my first friend who was into this kind of stuff.

Then the phone rang, and I was looking for any excuse to get up and do something. So I went to get it off the kitchen wall.

"Hello?"

"Hi, hon." It was Crystal. "I was just wondering if you and Felix could stop by so I can get pictures?"

"I guess we can do that. I'll ask my dad."

"Okay, sweetie. Are you ready yet?"

"Kind of. I just need to get dressed."

"Okay. Well, hurry it up, and I'll see you soon."

"Alright."

I hung up and returned to the living room.

"Hey, Dad. Crystal wants to know if you'll bring Felix and me to her house so she can get pictures."

"Alright, sure." And then the phone rang again.

"Oh, for the love of God." I went back to the kitchen. "Hello?"

"Uh, hey." It was Felix this time.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"Shit—this is embarrassing."

"What is?"

"My mom," he sighed. "Wants you to come over so she can take pictures—or something. I don't know. She wants to do it in the garden."

"Oh—crap—okay—when?"

"As soon as possible."

"Okay—um—I think Crystal—my mom—wants to do the same. My dad said he'd give us a ride over to Quinn's." He sighed again.

"Parents," he mumbled.

"I agree."

"I'll see you in a minute then."

"Okay."

We hung up, and I went back to the living room again. This time I just motioned toward the stairs. "I suppose—I have to get dressed now—or something. Felix's mom. Pictures." My dad just nodded like I was speaking in tongues.

"Uh—alright. I'll be ready when you are."

"Okay."

I rushed up the stairs to my bedroom to put my dress on. I'd been to dances before, but my dad never took pictures. And my date's parents never did either. I also didn't have friends that cared much about it. Most of my friends were like Amy. They would participate and then get high in the bathroom. When I got to my room, the phone rang again.

"Oh my god!" I said, going to the nightstand to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Are you ready?" Billie asked.

"I'm getting dressed right now. I just need like five minutes without someone calling, and I can do it." She laughed.

"Okay, I'm heading over to Quinn's in a few minutes. See you soon, okay?"

"Alright."

I hurried to my closet to get the dress Billie helped me pick out. It was a powdery blue color that almost shimmered. It had small straps and a low neckline, but we both agreed that it looked prettier than the other dresses we tried. Hers was similar, almost the same, but it was gold and had a little heart on her chest. Initially, I was supposed to wear the gold one since we thought it would better match my red hair. But at the end of the day, we decided to trade since Billie loved the gold, and I preferred blue anyway.

I pulled the dress on and was just getting the shoes strapped to my feet when I heard my dad coming up the stairs. He knocked a moment later.

"You can come in," I told him. He poked his head in.

"Felix is here."

"Okay, I'll be right there."

I grabbed my purse a minute later and followed him back down the stairs. Felix was standing by the door, talking to my dad. I'm pretty sure I'd interrupted whatever conversation they'd just been having. But they didn't try to continue it. Felix looked really nice in his suit. He even had a blue flower that Billie forced him to get and a matching corsage for me. He looked like he didn't know what to do with it. My dad was looking at us with equal confusion. This was apparently new to all of us.

"Hey," I finally said. He nodded.

"Hey." Then he handed the corsage out.

"Uh." He motioned toward the door. "My mom."

"Oh yeah. Come on, Dad."

My dad followed the two of us back to Felix's house and let us in. His mom seemed really excited about it and seemed to better understand the protocol than the rest of us. She took us out to the backyard and positioned us between her favorite trees and flowers.

Thankfully, she didn't take very long before she was satisfied. But Felix said she was pretty good at photography, and the pictures would probably come out great. She promised to make copies for my dad and me and then let us go.

"Sorry about all that," Felix said as we crossed the yard to my dad's truck.

"It's alright. Consider Crystal payback," I told him.

So we headed to Quinn's to endure even more embarrassing pictures. But this time with Billie and Quinn were thrown in the mix. Only Crystal took about a hundred more and made us do various poses in the entryway. Quinn started to get really restless and groaned and complained the whole time.

"Okay, now I need individual shots," she said as she moved us into different positions.

"Mom, seriously? Come on. We have to go, or we'll be late," Quinn said. She kept snapping pictures. Catching him slouched and irritated. I definitely wanted copies of those.

"Fine, yes. Go," she said. We all hurried out of there before she could get to the rest of us. But she followed us out, snapping more pictures as we went.

"Remember the pressure points, Ruby," my dad said, making a jabbing motion toward his throat. "And Felix—I'll start with the pinky."

"God, Dad. Okay. We get it," I said, grabbing Felix by the shoulders and guiding him toward the car before my dad could threaten his toes too.