The Lunacy Fringe

After I hung up, I found Cerbie sitting by the back door. She obviously wanted to go out. But probably just to run around and dig up the new grass my dad was trying to grow in the yard. He wasn't cool about letting her stay out in the yard by herself yet. Mostly because she liked to dig up those mysterious gourds, and one time got her dumb head stuck in the fence trying to play with Felix's dogs. Also, we didn't have the front fenced yet.

When I opened the door, she booked it off toward the frog bush and began barking like mad. I wandered over and thought about hauling her tiny little body back inside.

"What are you doing over here, you weirdo?" I asked.

"You're not talking to me, are you?" Felix said, popping out from behind the jasmine bush and making me jump.

"Jesus. You scared me." He laughed. "And I was talking to the dog. What are you doing, though?"

"My mom asked me to plant some new herbs in the garden. It's kind of," he squinted, "not very manly."

"I won't tell anyone, I promise." He laughed.

"Want to help?"

"That's probably just asking for a disaster, but I can try. I can't leave the dog over here, though."

"She can come over too if she wants. My dogs won't hurt her."

"Okay yeah. We can try."

We started by handing the puppy over the fence. As soon as Felix set her down on their side, she went nuts playing with his dogs. I really wasn't worried about them hurting her since Felix's mom's whole thing was training dogs. Plus, they'd always just seemed really excited to have someone new to play with. Then I climbed over the fence, and he helped me scramble to the other side. Then I sat down on my knees beside him in the herb garden. He dug around in a box and handed me a pair of gloves as the dogs ran off, chasing each other through the yard.

"So you know how to plant things?" I asked as I struggled to get the gloves on.

"Yeah, I mean—there really isn't a whole lot to it beyond moving them from one place to another," he explained.

"What do I do?"

"First, dig a hole."

"How deep?"

"Just enough for the plant to fit." He scooped some soil out of the garden box and pushed it aside. So I followed his lead. "Here." He turned around to pull an herb out of the box and handed it to me. "Now stick it in the hole." I did what he said, and he helped me pack the dirt around it. We did it with the rest of the box until it was empty. I felt weirdly accomplished.

"I've never planted a green thing before," I admitted. He laughed and stood to wipe the dirt from his jeans.

"They're usually called plants. And I don't know how many coolness points I'll lose now that you know I can garden."

"I don't know. I think it's pretty cool to be able to keep things alive." He just smiled and helped me up.

"That's good to know." I followed him back into the house so we could clean up.

"So what did we plant?" I asked while we washed our hands in the kitchen sink. The dogs, plus Cerbie, were all piled around our legs. Cerbie was acting like she lived there. Following the big dogs and doing whatever they did.

"Common herbs my mom likes to have on hand. Cilantro, chives, sage. That kind of stuff."

"So cool."

"What do you want to do now?"

"Don't you guys have a gig tonight? We could practice?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Okay, I'll go get my guitar and be right back."

"I can just come with you."

I waited for him to get his guitar and his small amp, then I gathered up Cerbie and led him to my house. Even though no one was home, I still shut my bedroom door behind him. I don't know why I did it. My dad would probably be livid if he just happened to come home and find that I'd shut Felix up in my room. But it felt more personal that way—more private. I went right for the Les Paul as he set up his Fender.

"So, what do you want to play?" I asked once we were ready. I was sitting on the bed, and he was in the chair.

"Something new."

"Like what?"

"Something of mine."

"Okay. Show me." He played a piece, and I attempted to copy him. It was more complex than the other things he'd shown me. So I wasn't having an easy time grasping it by sight and sound. When I tried, I already knew I wouldn't get it.

"More like this," he said, playing it again. I fumbled in my attempt.

"Man, I suck all of a sudden."

"No, it's not you. It's difficult. Try again." I did it again.

"Maybe if you write it down for me."

"I left all my notes at home. Here, I'll show you."

He set the guitar aside and climbed onto my bed. But he sat behind me so that I was between his legs and his chest was at my back. I was suddenly very self-conscious. He wrapped his arms around me, holding my fingers in place. First, he showed me how to play it, but I was too distracted to get it right. I could feel him close to me. The warmth of his chest on my back. Every breath he took. And then he moved his hand up to pull my hair back out of the way, trailing his fingers along my neck as if he knew exactly what he was doing.

"You did that on purpose," I said.

"So what if I did?" he replied. He played the line again, but I couldn't focus.

"Like this?" I asked. But my fingers were sloppy.

"You're distracted."

"Hmm—wonder why."

"Do you want me to move?" He turned his head so that his lips touched my skin. I took a deep breath.

"No."

"I don't want to move either." He kissed the back of my neck, his finger gently trailing under my shirt collar. He moved my hair to the other shoulder so that my neck was free for his lips.

A tiny "Oh" slipped out of my lips before I could stop myself. I felt him smile again.

"Do you want me to keep going?" he asked. I wanted him to never stop.

"Yes."

He moved his thumb up the back of my neck and kissed me all the way down to my shirt. Then he gently guided my face toward him so he could kiss the line of my jaw. He only stopped long enough to get the guitar off of my lap. Then his hand came back, sliding under my shirt and touching my ribs.

"Felix?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"I kind of—don't want you to stop."

He didn't say anything. He moved me back onto the bed and slid from behind me. He came to rest on top of me and brought his lips to mine.

"Just tell me when to stop," he said, kissing my neck.

But he didn't go farther than that. His hand didn't go up past my ribs. And though his kisses got me hot and bothered all over, he didn't push it. I reached my hands up his shirt and dragged my fingers down his back. He took a sharp breath and pulled away to look down at me.

"You gave me goosebumps," he said, almost sounding shocked.

"Apparently, it's mutual."

"You drive me crazy, you know that?"

"I think I can relate."

We went back to kissing, and his hand started to get more daring. He didn't move it up, though. Just down. And I wasn't positive I was ready to lose my virginity, especially for a guy who'd never outright asked me to be his girlfriend, but I definitely didn't want this to end. I'd never wanted anyone so badly before. I couldn't ever remember feeling like this before. So when his fingers traced the line of my jeans, our eyes met, and I was half a second away from telling him yes when the doorbell rang.

"Shit," I said. He sat up and away from me. I thought about ignoring it, but it rang again. "Goddamn it." I jumped out of bed and turned to him. He was still sitting on his knees, looking as dazed as I felt. "Just—hold that thought."

Then I ran down the stairs and threw the door open to find Billie standing on my porch. She was smiling innocently.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Her smile fell. I didn't mean for it to sound so rude, but I'd been very, very close to having Felix's hand in my pants, and I was suddenly very frustrated.

"You said you wanted to talk," she replied.

"You could have called. And Quinn's not here, right?"

"No, and I didn't think it mattered." Then she stopped and blinked at me. I must have looked disheveled. Something gave me away. "Wait a minute," she said. "You were uh—kind of busy, weren't you?"

"A little bit."

"With who?" I glared and went to shut the door.

"No, don't!" She threw her hands up to stop me. "I won't say anything, I promise. Just let me in."

"Is it absolutely vital?"

"Now it is. Yes." I groaned and turned back for the stairs. She shut the door and followed me. When we got back to my room, Felix had moved to my chair. I flopped down onto the bed and resisted the urge to make her walk home. "Uh—hi, Felix," she said, smiling, as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, Billie," he said. Then he turned to look at me. "I guess I'll uh—see you guys later." I gave him a look, begging him not to go, but he stood and bent down to kiss me anyway. "I'll talk to you later." He kissed me one last time before leaving the room. Then Billie turned to me with wide eyes.

"What—the—heck—were you guys just doing?" she asked once the front door closed.

"Nothing," I said, flopping back over onto the bed.

"Fine then. I guess I won't tell you what I came here to tell you."

"Fine, I guess not then." She glared at me, and I sent it back.

"It's because of Quinn, isn't it?" she asked.

"What is?"

"The reason you won't tell me."

"Well, you won't tell me what you were up to last night because he's my brother. And I won't tell you what I was just up to because you'll tell my brother. So yeah, it's basically all Quinn's fault."

"Damn it. We have got to find a way around this."

"How?"

"Okay, here's the thing—I promise not to tell Quinn anything if you promise not to be grossed out."

"I'll probably be grossed out anyway, but I won't say anything. So long as you don't go into detail."

"So you promise?"

"Yes. You?"

"I promise."

"Alright, spill."

"Okay," she started, getting comfortable so she could tell me everything. "Well, we were up on the deck at Aaron's house last night."

"Yeah?"

"And he told me everything."

"What's everything?"

"He said he loved me."

"Aw. How?"

"He said he's been in love with me for a really long time, but he was afraid of losing me as his friend, and he didn't think he deserved me or that I liked him back. And that's why he never asked."

"How sweet. That's what you didn't want to tell me?"
 
"Not exactly."

"Oh, there's more?"

"Yeah, well—then we sort of went into Aaron's room to talk and—well, one thing led to another…."

"Did you lose your virginity in Aaron's room?" She noticed my grimace and quickly shook her head.

"No! We didn't do it! We almost did! But we didn't!"

"How did you almost do it?"

"Well, we just kinda—messed around a bit—I guess—but Quinn was very gentlemanly."

"Oh—oh, that's gross."

"You promised."

"Right. Sorry."

"So what did YOU guys do last night?" she asked, stretching out her words and wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"Well, we played with the band. We kissed a lot. Then we passed out on the couch. So you know—super romantic," I explained. She laughed.

"Fine. What were you guys doing before I showed up?"

"I helped him plant herbs in his garden."

"Is that a euphemism for something?"

"What? No?"

"Then I'm obviously not talking about his garden."

"Fine. We were trying to play guitar." I motioned toward both of them. He'd left his stuff.

"Why only trying?" she asked.

"We got distracted."

"By?"

"Each other?"

"And what did you do about this distraction?"

"We made out."

"BULLSHIT!" I laughed.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you looked guilty as hell when you answered the door. Your hair was everywhere, your face was pink, and you were mean."

"We weren't doing anything—You interrupted before anything happened."

"Oh, lame. What base were you headed for?" I squinted at her, leaning on her arm on my bed.

"You know, I honestly don't know which base is which," I admitted.

"Well, first base is kissing, right?" she explained.

"Definitely passed that one."

"Second is touching, I think? But like below-the-belt touching, if you catch my drift. Third is oral. I'm pretty sure. There are only three bases, right?" I shrugged. My dad was never into baseball. He only watched hockey regularly and maybe thought football was okay. "Well, then you get a home run, and you already know what that is."

"I'm really not sure if that's how it goes," I said.

"Who cares? Let's just say I'm right. So which one 'almost' happened?"

"Second."

"Second? Oh—ew."

"Shut up. You actually made it to second base last night. Don't act like it's gross."

"I'm sitting in your bed."

"Nothing happened on this bed because you rang the doorbell thirty times." She snickered and rolled backward.

"Would you have gotten all the way to home base if I didn't interrupt?" she asked, leaning on her elbows.

"No," I admitted.

"What about third base?"

"I definitely don't think I'm ready for that. I think I'll be ready to be naked in front of him before I'm ready for that. Which means we'll probably skip right past third base once we're shooting for a home run."

"Yeah, I think I feel the same way." She sighed heavily and looked away for a long moment. "So you're going to their gig tonight, right?"

"Of course."

"What are you going to wear?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Do you want some help?"

"I don't want to wear anything too nice. It's just a gig."

"God, you're so boring." I shrugged.

"It's rock n' roll," I said.

"Rock n' roll, my ass. Stevie Nicks always looks like a queen." I nodded slowly.

"True. But Stevie Nicks is a queen."

"Also true."