The Lunacy Fringe

Steve, Crystal, and Jade were leaving the house just as we pulled up to the curb, nearly bumping it because Quinn still hadn't gotten the hang of parallel parking.

"Hey, guys," Crystal said when we climbed out.

"Hey, Ma," he replied.

"We're heading over to grandma's now, okay? You guys be good. Don't make any big messes. Don't break anything."

"Alright. See you later. Thanks again."

"Of course. Have fun. Don't trash my house, or I'll make you live with your grandmother."

"Yeah, yeah." She buckled Jade into the backseat, and we stayed on the lawn until they drove off.

I'd met my grandmother a total of once, and I could totally understand why my dad hated her guts. She wasn't a very nice person, and she obviously didn't like me. When I asked him what the bad blood was between them, my dad just said she was 100% responsible for separating us. But he wouldn't go into too much detail. Even though we were older now and I was back in California, she seemed perfectly happy to continue pretending I didn't exist.

"We're going to get fucked up," Quinn said as we waved goodbye, looking pleasantly innocent.

Once they were gone, he turned on his heel toward the house, and I groaned. I didn't really want to get 'fucked up.' I'd only been drunk once since school started again. And I'd spent most of that night with my tongue down Jake's throat. Not because I was hot for him. I was mostly thinking about Felix so much I thought if I kissed him enough, I might forget.

"So they got a keg?" I asked as we passed the kitchen for the living room.

"That's our birthday gift from Steve."

"That's a very nice gift."

"There's a stipulation, though. We can't drive, and we can't trash the house."

"Sounds reasonable."

"And we have to clean up before they get home."

"Lame."

"We deserve this party anyway. We've waited all our lives for this."

"Not really much different from the last party we went to."

"Hopefully, you don't spend the whole night making out with Jake Froud, though." I cringed. "Also, it's legal this time. The drinking. Not the making out. Even though it should be illegal."

"Yeah, thanks."

We plopped down in the living room to wait for guests to arrive. Quinn had Aaron invite his brother just because he knew his brother would invite a whole lot of people. No one ever wanted to miss Aaron's brother's parties. Even though more than half of them didn't even know who we were. The only problem is that when people started to show up, they were all in costume. Quinn and I were supposed to go get mine from my house, but we completely forgot.

"Ruby! What the heck?" Billie asked when she let herself in. She was dressed in a cute Snow White costume her mom helped her make because they were really crafty. Her mom even helped me put my outfit together. She did charge me, but it was worth the effort.

"I forgot my costume!" I told her.

"I know. I brought it. We were supposed to meet up at your house, you butthead. Your dad had to give me a ride, and it was awkward as hell." She handed the bag out, and I almost jumped up and down from excitement.

"You're a lifesaver, Bill."

"I know that. By the way, your dad said to be good and have fun and call him if you need anything."

"Okay. Let's go get dressed."

"Can I do your hair and makeup?"

"Of course." I hurried up the stairs, and she followed after me.

We'd planned our costumes together. She was really sold on a Disney theme. I decided to go with Alice because her initial idea was for me to be Cinderella, and I wasn't feeling it. She even wanted me to dye my hair. But I liked the idea of Alice better, so we bought the stuff and had her mom help us sew them.

When I was dressed, she did my hair in a black ribbon and then helped me put on makeup. Once we were done, she made me spin around to get the 'full effect.' We were having way too much fun. Even though her mom insisted we were too old to dress up. I never missed out on a chance to dress up.

"You look so cute!" she shouted as she took my hands and twirled with me.

"So do you!"

We headed back down to join the party, and for one whole glorious moment, I lived in a world where Felix didn't exist, and I was happy just to be a Disney character. But then we got to the bottom of the stairs just as he walked in with his girlfriend. I couldn't remember what her name was. Cookie or Candy or something like that. Billie told me once, but I couldn't remember because I saw red.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. It was the first thing I'd really said to him in months. I knew this because I'd been keeping count. He looked very confused by my abruptness.

"It's my best friend's birthday party," he pointed out.

"Right." I grabbed ahold of Billie's hand and dragged her off to the kitchen. I plopped down on a stool and put my head in my hands. My excitement had fizzled out like a popped balloon.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just—hate him. And I hate her. Is that wrong? Am I a bad person? She's never done anything to me. But whenever I see her, I want to punch her in the face. Did you see her hair? She has perfect hair. And perfect boobs. I hate it." She snorted.

"I'm pretty sure you hate her because of the arm she's always hanging off of. But if you hate her, then I hate her too. We're in this together."

"Who has a name like that anyway? Cookie or whatever?"

"Her name is Candice. They call her Candy for short."

"I still hate it. What a stupid name."

"I'm not defending her because I know I just decided we'd hate her together. But you were literally named after a rock. All the women in your family are named after rocks. And my name? Don't even get me started. It's a boy's name." I sighed heavily as she walked over to the keg, still looking stupidly adorable in her Snow White costume.

"Your name isn't a boy's name. That's not even your real name."

"My real name is worse, Ruby. My real name is Wilhelmina. WILHELMINA, RUBY!"

"I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry? I'm sorry. Trust me. I'd rather go by Billie. Maybe this will help you feel better." She filled a cup for me.

"You're getting really good at that," I noted.

"Practice." Then she did a curtsey in her princess dress and handed it over. "Are you ready to go back out there?"

"Yeah, I can handle it. He just caught me off guard."

"Yeah, well. As long as you don't spend the rest of the night making out with Jake Froud, we'll be okay."

"Ugh."

Once she got herself a cup, I composed myself, chugged my beer, and then we returned to the living room. More people were arriving, and it seemed like most of them were Aaron's brother's friends. As soon as I stepped into the living room, he spotted me.

"Birthday twins!" he shouted. Then he hooked an arm around my waist and hoisted me toward the living room.

"Jesus, Aaron," I remarked as he nearly knocked me over.

"Ruby, come over here." He yanked me forward and half dragged me to where Quinn was standing beside Felix and Cookie or whatever. "Here, I got you guys these radical crowns." He handed one to each of us. Quinn's was blue and said "Birthday Boy," and mine was pink and said "Birthday Girl" like we were seven. We put them on as he explained how he got them. "I wanted to get you guys Halloween ones, but they don't have anything that combines Halloween and birthdays. I did consider covering them in fake blood, but my brother said that was a shit idea."

"I don't think either one of us wants to clean fake blood out of our hair," Quinn told him.

"Well, you guys look rad anyway. Toast to the birthday twins! Here's to finally being allowed to drink this legally!" He lifted his cup and forced everyone to drink in our honor. But only a small handful actually did. Most people didn't even have drinks yet.

But since Felix was nearby with Cookie McPerfectBoobs, Billie decided to drag me out of there before I started seeing red again. And since Jake wasn't around, I'd probably just yell at Felix instead of making out with someone. She said goodbye to Quinn and yanked me toward the backdoor so we could sit outside where the air was marginally cooler. It was a nice night, and it wasn't too hot or too chilly yet, so everyone else got the same idea.

Luckily, Felix and his girlfriend took the hint and stayed in the house.