The Lunacy Fringe

I sat in the passenger seat of Felix's new/old car with my arms crossed, fuming. He got the car on the road toward the backroads. Away from town. Away from people. We drove on a street lined with lush green plants, palms, and avocado trees.

"Wow," he finally said after a moment of letting me glare out of the window. "Fierce." Then I laughed. It bubbled out of me, and I snorted.

"She's—insane."

"I wasn't talking about her. Remind me to never get on your bad side. I mean—I've been on your bad side, and I don't think you've ever gone off on me like that."

"Yeah, well—even when you were on my bad side, I still liked you." Then I sighed as the anger simmered out of me. I leaned against the door on my elbow. "Oh God, Quinn."

"You don't think he'll be mad that you yelled at his grandma, do you?"

"Wouldn't you be?"

"My grandma is a kindly old French woman. Quinn won't care. She's been a nightmare to all of us for as long as we've known him."

"You've had run-ins with her before this?" He did a dramatic shiver like it wasn't ninety-something degrees out.

"Oh yeah. She used to call me a little troublemaker."

"Were you?" He shrugged.

"Maybe a little bit. But Quinn was worse than I was."

"I believe it. It's just kind of weird that you've known her longer than I have."

"Not really. I mean—she knew you when you were a baby."

"And has had it out for me since the moment she snatched me from my crib and handed me off to my dad."

"Is that how it happened?" I leaned against the door again.

"Crystal's family was dead-set on keeping my parents apart. They were young, so I get it. But they were pretty cruel about it. My dad quit school to get a job and help raise us, but they would purposely block him from seeing us. And then, one day, he came over to visit. Crystal was giving Quinn a bath in the other room, so Opal took it upon herself to grab me from my crib, shove me into his arms, and told him to leave with me and never come back."

"He didn't, though, right? You said you didn't leave for Detroit until you were three."

"Oh God, no. My dad never would have allowed that. But he was still just a kid with two babies and didn't know what the hell to do. So he just took me home. Crystal showed up a few hours later and screamed at him for taking me. But ultimately, they decided to just try it out. Their original plan was to trade us off periodically, but it didn't pan out that way. I ended up with my dad ninety percent of the time and Quinn with her. So when my dad got the job offer in Detroit, I was technically living with him full time."

"And you guys just left? That doesn't seem like Rick."

"No, of course not. My dad needed the job to be able to support us. He and Crystal still saw each other in secret, but she had plans to finish college. So when he approached the subject of her moving with us to Detroit, they got into a huge fight. And she said something along the line of, 'Just leave and never come back.' Which broke his heart. So he packed me up, and we headed out to Detroit without them. He wrote her letters apologizing and begging her to follow us out. But he never got a response. And then the letters started getting sent back. Because, of course, my grandparents packed Quinn and Crystal up the second we were out of the picture and pretended my dad just abandoned her."

"Wow. That's—that's really fucked up."

"Tell me about it."

"I still don't understand why she has it out for you."

"She thinks I don't deserve to be part of the family. In her eyes, I'm Rick's daughter. Not Crystal's anymore. And Rick has only ever been trouble for her."

"Still. Terrible way to treat your own flesh and blood."

"She's a literal monster."

"What do you remember about your family before Detroit?" he asked. I shrugged and turned back to the window. He'd found the backroads now, but we were mostly just driving aimlessly. I think he knew I just needed some fresh air. So I rolled the window down to let out the accumulated heat.

"Not much, really," I admitted. "I remember playing with Quinn in the orange grove. That's about it."

"Quinn and I went to the same daycare. I don't think we became friends until we were older, but I'm pretty sure you played with us at least once or twice." I turned to look at him.

"What?" He took his eyes off the road for a second and smiled.

"You don't remember. That's okay."

"You mean we played together when we were kids?"

"I only barely remember you, Ruby. Mostly because I think I pinched Quinn, and you came to his defense and pulled my hair. I went home crying." I laughed.

"Why do you remember this, and I don't?"

"Well, I am older than you. Only by like three months, but significant enough, apparently. Also, yeah, you got very defensive of Quinn when I picked on him. You didn't take any shit. That's all I know."

"You sure it was me?"

"Quinn's sister? I mean—it clearly wasn't Jade. That's why I was the only one who knew Quinn had a twin."

"That's crazy, though."

"I guess it is. Who would have thought those two little brats would grow up and fall in love?" I smiled, and my heart jumped. My cheeks felt really hot, and I almost melted into the seats.

"I'm kind of disappointed that I can't remember."

"Don't be. As I said, I was older. And you went through something huge and life-changing not long after. You probably blocked it out because it hurt too much to think about California. I get it."

"So—that's probably around the same time your dad left, isn't it?" He gripped the steering wheel.

"Yeah."

"But you remember."

"I remember because I've forced myself to remember. So if I ever see him again, I can punch him in the face." I reached out to squeeze his hand.

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't be." He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles. Then I got another idea. It was something I'd been thinking about for the last few weeks, but I finally decided to bring it up.

"Your birthday is coming up," I reminded him as I pulled my hand back.

"So it is."

"What would you like?"

"From you or just in general?"

"Obviously, I meant from me."

"Uh—honestly? All I really want is to get away from everyone for a while. Just the two of us." I leaned against the headrest and batted my eyelashes at him.

"So you want something—romantic?" He laughed.

"As cheesy and romantic as possible. Breakfast in bed."

"I can probably work something out."

"Naked."

"Oh, I see where this is going."

"With rose petals."

"For real?"

"Of course, for real. And chocolate too."

"Oh, that's a given."

"Chocolate-covered strawberries. With champagne."

"Anything else I can get for you, my high-maintenance sweetheart?"

"Oh, so much more. I'll write a list."

"I'll expect it by Monday." I leaned back in my seat but reached out to pat his head. "You're going to have the best birthday ever." I knew he was only joking around, but I would do it anyway. At least as much as I could. If he wanted cheesy romance, I would do the cheesiest romantic birthday possible.

My face was still stinging, so I flipped the visor down to check it in the mirror. It looked like Opal me with her ring when she grabbed my face. The cuts were small and barely noticeable, but they stung. Felix glanced at me.

"I can't believe you got beat up by your grandma," he said.

"I just can't believe she actually shoved soap in my mouth. I can still taste it. It tastes awful if you're wondering."

"So—I have a question."

"Mm?"

"Are you really on birth control?" I snapped the mirror back up and leaned back again.

"Uh—yeah."

"You didn't think—to maybe tell me that?"

"I mean—I didn't think it was relevant. It's kind of—my body, Felix."

"Right. No. That's not what I mean. I just think—I don't know—we have sex. Regularly. So maybe we should talk about that kind of stuff."

"Billie said if you found out, you'd try to do it without a condom." His eyebrows furrowed, and he squinted at the setting sun.

"And how exactly did she come to this conclusion?"

"She read it in a magazine."

"Oh, right. Of course. No disputing a magazine." He seemed really offended by it.

"I just didn't think to tell you, Felix. It's not that I was trying to keep it a secret. It just didn't seem important."

"I get it. I wouldn't do that to you, you know that, right? I wouldn't ask—I mean—we're both the bastard children of unwed parents. I wouldn't mess around with anything like that. I wouldn't want—you to have to go through—any of the things our parents went through."

"I get it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's fine. It's not a big deal. But—your mom knows?" He glanced at me again, incredulous. The sun was setting and filled the whole valley with orange light. It made his eyes look more blue than green. But still too pretty to be fair.

"She's a pharmacist," I pointed out. "She fills my prescriptions."

"So she knows we…."

"Yes." He gripped the steering wheel again.

"Well—that's—awkward." He looked genuinely flustered. Like he wanted to sink into the seat just in case my mom saw him. I smiled.

"It was really awkward. I just figured it would be better to ask her than my dad."

"Oh, I definitely agree. Your dad would murder me."

"Nah. Just snip off a few fingers." He nodded dramatically. But then he got serious again.

"One more question, though," he said.

"Sure."

"Were you—already on it when we—the first time?"

"No. My arm was still bandaged up when I asked her."

"Just wondering."

"Why?" He glanced at me again, and I realized what he was really asking me. "I already told you. I had no intention of ever doing it with him."

"I know, I know. I just—I hate him."

"I know that. But—you knew it was my first time, right? Like—it was kind of obvious."

"I mean—it definitely seemed like you were uncomfortable. For a minute there."

"And then?"

"And then—you looked—happy?"

"Aw." I reached over to mess up his pretty black hair. "I was. I am. Still."

"Any complaints? Recommendations? Suggestions?"

"None so far."

"Good to know."

"I'll be sure to let you know if you ever fail me in bed."

"I actually would prefer to know so that I can fix it instead of letting you go on believing I'm bad at it."

"That is also good to know." He took my hand to kiss my knuckles again.

We only drove around until Felix found a place to park on a hill overlooking the valley. We could just make out the ocean through the haze; the valley was vibrantly orange and green. We watched the sun go down together. Holding hands and laughing. With occasional kisses. I thought about that first sunrise. When I still had no idea what was in store for me. It had been just over a year, and it already felt like my life had changed completely.

After it got dark, we headed back home, thankful that everyone had left. My dad wasn't even there anymore. But there was a note on the fridge that he was doing "damage control" and would be home later. He told me to heat up a TV dinner from the freezer if I was still hungry.

While I was waiting for it to heat up, I called Billie to see if she could get me access to her beach house for a weekend in July. She promised to make it happen. And then I went to bed in a quiet, empty house.