Oh, Calamity

“What the fuck, Jack? I didn’t kiss him, you’re just drunk!” I exclaim. How the fuck could he think that? I thought we had a good relationship, I thought he trusted me!

“Don’t fucking lie to me. I know what I saw and I never thought you’d do that to me, but whatever. Fuck you, Alex.”

“Jack! Jacky!” I call to his retreating back. He doesn’t turn around though, he just storms out of the bar, leaving the rest of us standing around in shocked silence.

JACK’S P.O.V.

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, like I’m choking. I can’t breathe. I don’t understand. I was so sure of what I saw, but would Alex really do that? I’m more than a little drunk so I could have imagined it, but I don’t think I did. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have judged him so quickly without hearing him out, but I freaked out.

I run out of the bar and down the street, eventually sitting down on a bench and burying my face in my hands.

After a while, someone sits down next to me. “We need to talk.”

“Go away,” I growl.

“No. We need to get some things straight,” Vic says firmly. “First of all, you’re being an asshole. You refused to hear us out, you just acted off what you thought you saw even though you’re drunk, and now you’ve potentially ruined your relationship with Alex. You, not him.”

I don’t know what to say. His words have hit me pretty hard. What if it is my fault? I love Alex, and I don’t want to be the one to ruin everything because I’m a dick. When I don’t respond, Vic just continues.

“Now, listen. Alex and I didn’t fucking kiss. We’re just friends. Now you better march your sorry ass back to your bus where Alex is crying and you better fucking apologise to him. I’m sorry I’m being so harsh because I like you and I still want us to be friends, but you fucked up big time and I’m with Alex on this one.”

I sigh and rub furiously at my eyes. “Fine. I’ll go talk to him.”

“Alright,” says Vic, patting me on the back. “I’ll call a cab to take us both back to the buses and then you can go patch things up.”

ALEX’S P.O.V.

“Hey, Alex, it’s okay. You know that you didn’t kiss Vic, so everything’s gonna be fine, alright? You just have to convince Jack to believe you.”

“No, Rian, it’s not going to be fucking fine! Jack has no trust in me, so how can I trust him? I could convince him it’s not true, but how can we have a proper relationship when we can’t trust each other?” I start crying again, and Rian just tightens arm around my shoulder while Zack soothingly rubs my back. It’s just us in the front lounge of our bus at the moment. Our crew are still at the bar with PTV, which I’m kind of grateful for because as much as I love them all, I just want to be with my best friends right now.

Suddenly, I hear the door creak open and a tall, lanky figure trudges into the room. Jack. I can tell Rian and Zack are both making shooing motions with their hands behind me, trying to tell him to go away.

“I came to apologise,” he says. “Can… can I speak to Alex alone?”
I give a slight nod, wiping away my tears and sitting up straighter. Rian and Zack get up to leave the bus, giving me encouraging pats on the shoulder as they do so. When they’re gone, Jack sits down beside me, fidgeting with his hands.

“After I left, Vic came to talk to me. He convinced me you guys didn’t kiss, and I don’t think he was lying. He also made me see what an asshole I’ve been,” he says with a soft chuckle. “So I just want to say that I’m sorry, and I want to make things right again.”

“Well, Vic was right,” I say bluntly. “You have been an asshole. You don’t trust me. How did you expect to fix things? A well-planned apology, a little kiss and everything’s back to normal? Well that’s not gonna work, Jack.” It pains me to say these words, and it’s even worse when I see his expression. He looks panicked, desperate and heartbroken. He keeps opening and closing his mouth like a fish, and I can tell he’s struggling to find words. I love him so much and I can’t bear to do this to him, but I know that I can’t forgive him so easily. I’m way too soft and it’s about time I hardened up and stopped being so dependent on him.

“Alex, please,” he whispers. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“No, Jack,” I choke out. “I can’t do it. I just… Please leave me alone.”

He stands up with tears shining in his eyes. “I swear Alex, I can prove that I trust you. I’ll do whatever it takes.” He leaves the bus without another word, and I dissolve into tears.