From the Shadows

Daryl stood in the doorway and watched Teagan's chest rise and fall. Still can't believe she actually made it. Before she showed up, he kept telling himself she was alive. Looking back, he wasn't totally sure she was alive, but he felt if he kept saying she was, it'd hush the likelihood that she wasn't, smothering his doubts. We was unexplainably grateful she was okay. He kept looking at her, afraid that if he looked away, she'd disappear again. I won't leave ya again... Guilt crept in on him again, and he tried to shake the feeling. If she knew how guilty he felt, she might conclude how much he cared. He didn't want that. As much as he did care for her, he didn't want her to know. Before he realized it, he sat down on the chair on the opposite wall of the bed. Daryl could feel himself getting too attached to Teagan. If it was anyone else out there, I wouldn't be so damned worked up. He got angry at himself for letting his emotions slip this far. She don't feel the same way. Move past this crock o' shit. He shook his head and stomped out of the cell.

Everyone had finished eating except for Daryl. Carol brought him some food, which he aggressively snatched from her and shoveled down in very few bites. He left the empty plate on the table and went straight for his room.

“Come down here, girl!”

Teagan knew better than to defy orders. She had tried the rebellious streak before, and she ended up locked in the basement with no food or human contact for several days. She hated it, but she knew if she obeyed and stayed quiet, her existence would be a lot more tolerable. She vowed to get the hell out of there as soon as she could, and never let another man, or person, talk to her or treat her like that ever again. Her step-father was always an intolerable excuse for a person, but he only got progressively worse once her mother wasn't around anymore. Her mother tried to protect Teagan, but worked extra long hours throughout the week, making Teagan vulnerable to her unemployed step-father. The best her mother could do would be to clean her up after she got home.

Teagan no longer had the protection of her mother. She could follow every rule perfectly, but she still had to rely on luck. Luck that her step-father was in a relatively decent mood, luck that he wasn't too drunk, and luck that he didn't bring his friends over.

Teagan went downstairs as demanded. She clenched her jaw tight at the extensive company. They all rotated their sweaty heads and stared her down with their beady eyes.

“What're you waiting for? Cook us some damn dinner. Ain't got all day. Us men gotta eat.” This warranted some chuckles from her step-father's friends. Teagan walked into the kitchen and made them dinner. There wasn't much food to work with; her step-father was a lazy and a shitty shopper. She did a head count, and there would barely be enough food for everyone. When dinner was ready, the group of men shoved their way to the kitchen and piled food onto their plates, leaving almost none for Teagan. This wasn't the first, or the last, time Teagan would go hungry. She cleaned the dishes and kitchen, leaving it as spotless as it was before. She was about to go upstairs before her step-father stopped her.

“Where ya think you're going?” His voice was stern and fueled by booze.

“Upstairs. I have school tomorrow.” She tried to make the excuse of needing sleep. She knew she only needed a few hours a night to feel rested, and she could never sleep well knowing there were people downstairs. Her step-father burped and turned away. Teagan proceeded to go upstairs. She changed into pajamas, set her alarm for the morning, and crawled into bed. She stared at her wall for what felt like hours. All was quiet until she heard drunken, heavy steps walking down the hallway. Please, please keep walking. She prayed whoever it was wouldn't come into her room. She wished she had a lock on her door, but she lost that privilege months ago. Now, she was vulnerable every single night. The doorknob jostled and the door swung open. Teagan closed her eyes. She didn't pretend to be asleep, because it didn't matter. Her step-father had been selling her off like a damned mule, even before her mother left. If she fought back, she'd get the shit beat out of her. The best she could do is distract herself. She always had to vomit afterward, even if there was no food in her stomach.

Teagan lunged upright from her sleeping position. Cold sweat again? She looked around her room, and was glad to find no one was in there with her. Wait, where am I? Teagan could barely recollect where she was. She had almost no memory of what happened the past two days. The sun had barely peeked itself over the horizon, leaving a hazy glow in the cell block. She was achy and stiff from head to toe, but stood up anyway. She felt strangely claustrophobic inside the prison. She'd never really been anxious in enclosed spaces, but she had a strong urge to get out. Everyone seemed to be asleep, so she slipped out of the prison into the prison yard. She deeply inhaled the fresh, cool air of the early morning. The breeze pricked her filthy skin. Damn, I really need a wash. She walked around for a bit and came across two crosses sticking out of the ground. She bit her lip, and sunk her hands into her pockets. Wonder who we lost... She meandered around for awhile and decided she should head back into the prison. Hershel was sitting on the table inside. He heard her come back in, and he smiled at her.

“Up early as usual. Glad to see you walking around. How're you feeling?”

“Feeling fine, I suppose. A bit sore.” She was a bit confused by his concern. What happened to me, anyway?

“You should eat something. Here.” Hershel offered her some canned fruit and water. She sat down and ate quietly. Canned peaches had never tasted so good.

“You gave us quite a scare, you know.”

“What exactly happened?”

“You don't remember?”

“Can't say I do. All I know is, I woke up hungry and in an unfamiliar place.” She frowned, and continued to eat what few peaches were left.

“Well, from what I know, you scoped out the interior of the prison and got split up. You went back to look for Glenn, Andrea and Maggie with Daryl. From his account, the two of you got split up for a second time and a day later, here you are.” Hershel scratched his beard.

Teagan dropped her fork in surprise. How the hell did I even survive? She collected herself and finished the last peach. The last swallow was hard.

“And those graves outside?” She bit her lip and shifted her eyes nervously.

“T-Dog... and you.” Teagan looked Hershel in the face and nodded. Hershel felt the need to defend the group's actions, though Teagan was not being accusatory. “We had no way to be sure.” he tried to reassure her with his soft eyes.

“I know. For all you knew, I did die. Have to say, glad I didn't.” She tried to smile, but her face fell flat.

“If it helps, Daryl still believed.”

Teagan furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“He didn't stop thinking you were alive for a second.” Hershel smiled and took Teagan's dirty dishes. She sat still and stunned. Daryl is something else... Hershel spoke again, disrupting her intrusive thoughts of Daryl. “When one of my girls wakes up, they can escort you to the showers we found, help keep an eye on you.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and Hershel walked back to his cell. A few minutes later, Beth walked out of her cell, yawning and stretching. She rubbed her eyes and smiled at Teagan. “Mornin'!” Beth's voice was peppy and bubbly as usual. Teagan simply nodded in response.

Teagan felt too awkward to ask for Beth to keep watch while she showered, so she simply didn't make the request. I can take care of it myself. It's just a shower. She asked a different question.

“Hey, Beth? Do you know where all my stuff went?”

“Yeah. It's in the last cell, down that way.” She pointed, and Teagan walked to where Beth described. All her things were neatly placed on the bed and floor. She hoped her knife would be there, but it wasn't. Must be lost forever. She gathered the cleanest clothes she had and a bar of soap. She wasn't quite sure where the shower was, so she asked.

“Hey Beth. One more question: do you know where the shower is?”

Beth giggled and told Teagan where it was. Teagan nodded in response and headed to the shower. When she arrived, she found a filthy mirror, but she could still see her reflection. She hardly recognized her face, even worse when she had the same feeling at Hershel's farmhouse. That was her first shower in months, same as now. Dirt and blood coated her skin and clothes. She instinctively checked the area for walkers, and she suddenly felt lost in the prison corridors again. A sudden panic ran through her. It was a feeling she was familiar with, but one she hadn't had in a very long time. Her mouth got dry and her hands started to shake. Her chest felt heavy and constricted, and she started pacing. She tried to calm herself down, but nothing helped. She began to sweat. She could feel her heart rapidly thump against her shrinking ribcage. Not now, don't do this. You can't do this.