From the Shadows

The day went along as it normally did. People did their respective chores, of the ones that were left after Teagan contributed. Rick told the group they needed to go on a run for supplies. Everyone was hesitant to go, remembering what happened last time. Annoyed, Teagan stepped forward and volunteered. “I'll go.”

Everyone's eyes grew wide. Getting damn tired of those obnoxious fucking stares. Teagan expected Rick to speak, but Hershel spoke instead. “Are you sure?”

“Damn sure.” Her stance was strong and bulldogish. She rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip. “Look, we need supplies. Your fear does not eliminate our need to survive. We're low on food and a bunch of other shit. We either get it or we die.” She was fed-up with their pitied looks and sorrowed voices. Nobody wanted to argue. They knew she was right. The three best runners were kidnapped last time, but fear of repetition wasn't going to feed them. After seeing Teagan's strong stance, Glenn volunteered.

“Me, too.” Teagan and Glenn exchanged nods.

After some hesitation, Rick agreed. “Be careful out there.”

Teagan turned to face Glenn. “Just need to grab some stuff from my room. Be out in a minute.”

Teagan quickly gathered all the things she needed. Knives, bow and quiver, backpack, water bottle. As she was about to head out, she saw Daryl leaning against the cell's door frame. She tried to walk past him, but he blocked her path.

“Excuse me.” She tried to push past him again, but he didn't budge. She sighed and contorted her face. “Since manners don't seem to penetrate your thick skull, get the fuck out of my way.” Daryl still didn't move. Teagan grew increasingly more annoyed. “Are your ears broken? The hell is wrong with you? Move!”

“No.”

“What did you say?”

“Said 'no'.”

“I heard what you said. Rhetorical question. Let me rephrase: why the hell are you still in my fucking way?” She was sassy and pissed off.

“Why you bringin' your bag?”

“So I can bring stuff back. What's gotten into you?”

“You can't go yet.” Daryl's voice was soft and sad.

“Uh, yes I can.”

“Please... jus' stay this time.”

“Look, you can't go from caring to disappearing, then to freaking out and being rude this morning, and back to caring. Make up your fucking mind. I have shit to do, and you are getting in my way.” Teagan successfully shoved past Daryl, and left him standing there, staring into her cell. She felt guilty for being so mean. I care about you, too, you airhead. Don't make this harder than it has to be. She bit her lip and debated on whether or not to go talk to him again. Glenn hollered at her for taking so long, and her decision was made for her. She left Daryl behind. Won't be the last time...

The drive to the store was awkward. The fear was visible in everyone's face. Scenes from the past played over and over again. They couldn't help but helplessly watch as shit hit the fan. When they pulled up, they hesitated on getting out. Teagan got fed-up with her fears and jumped out of the vehicle first. She quickly walked over to the store, and saw remnants of their kidnapping. She tried to keep herself emotionally separated. Not the time. Glenn had the list of supplies they needed. Teagan kept her distance from Glenn and Maggie; she had her own list she had to take care of, one she didn't particularly care about sharing. She was almost done when Glenn sneaked up on her.

“Hey, what is all that stuff?”

“Uh, just, extra stuff thought we might need.”

“Looks like a lot. Sure we need all that?”

“Doesn't hurt, right? Saves a trip later.”

Glenn could hear the suspicious cover-up in Teagan's voice. He didn't like it, but brushed it off. He knew she had her own agenda, and it was usually best to leave her alone. The three of them got back in the car without an ounce of trouble. No walkers, no people. Their last trip here seemed surreal. It felt as if it was simply a nightmare shared between all members of the group. Leftover aches, pains, bruises and fresh scars reminded Teagan that it was real. Once at the prison, they emptied their bags and showed the group their treasures. With all the commotion, Teagan sneaked into her room without sharing her bag. She decided to take a walk through the prison yard. She still felt fairly uneasy and vulnerable outside, but the cramped, sweaty prison was a more pressing issue. Even with walkers slamming their decayed bodies against the fence, and clawing at the air, the prison yard was still surprisingly peaceful. The calm, still atmosphere was bluntly interrupted by a raspy, southern drawl.

“Got it together?”

“Yeah.” Teagan responded.

“Good. See you at midnight.”

Daryl had seen Teagan make a suspicious beeline for her cell. He knew better than to dig through her stuff. She'd know someone was diggin'. Instead, he quietly followed her when she went outside. He stopped before actually exiting the prison. He didn't want to be seen. He heard his brother's voice. They spoke too quietly for Daryl to hear. All he could muster from the conversation was 'midnight'.

Everyone had their small dinner of canned vegetables and scraps of game Daryl had caught. Once everyone had finished and the table was cleared, people slowly relocated to their respective rooms. Darkness fell upon the cellblock, and only a faint beam of moonlight was visible through the windows, eery silence spread to every corner. Teagan had feigned going to bed, only to lie awake, staring at the bottom of the top bunk above her. Guilt slowly pumped through her veins. She felt like she was back on the farm, uncountable months ago. She was just itching to get out, to leave. She was forced to do the same thing again. This time, however, her feet were made of lead. She'd never admit it, but she grew attached to these people. She felt she needed to protect them, and give them every chance of survival they deserved. They are good people. She knew it from the start. A cold stone settled in her chest. She closed her eyes tightly and thought of Daryl. She couldn't help but remember the look on his face when she left the first time, and how angry he was when she returned. I don't want to leave him again... If he reacted that strongly last time, what will happen this time? She shook the thought from her head. He's in danger. He won't be once I'm gone. He'll hate me for it... but at least he'll be alive. She heard faint footsteps going past and leading away from her door. She waited until they were too faint to hear. She quietly crept out of her cell with all of her belongings. She looked back in the dim light and closed her eyes. She bit her lip and walked towards the door leading to the prison yard. She didn't want to turn on a flashlight to alert anyone, so she quietly crept outside.

“Merle?” No response.

“Merle, is that you? You better not be trying to-”

“Better not be what?” The voice had a southern drawl, but not the one Teagan wanted to hear. Daryl.

Teagan didn't know how to play it off. She panicked, and before she could speak, she heard another voice. “The hell is takin' you so long?” Fuck. Merle.

“The fuck is going on?” Daryl's voice was louder than Teagan wanted it to be. She feared his voice would echo and wake others in the prison, causing more trouble.

“Quiet down baby brother, this ain't got nothin to do with you.” Merle's voice was hardly a rusted whisper; stern but full of sadness.

“Excuse me? Ain't got nothin' to do with me? Something's going on and I wanna know what.” Daryl was fuming. His stance was agitated, as if he were ready to run.

“Now, now. Go on back inside and go to sleep like the rest of yer friends. Got business to take care of.”

“Business? The hell are you talking about?”

Daryl and Merle argued back and forth. Teagan helplessly watched, consumed with guilt and regret. She snapped back into reality to quell the tension. “Both of you, shut up!” She pushed through clenched teeth.

Daryl and Merle stopped suddenly, and they both stared at her.

“Look, Daryl, please. Just... go inside.”

“Tell me what the fuck is going on.” He tried to be calmer with her, softer. His voice slightly cracked and he couldn't control his temper.

Teagan sighed and couldn't tell him. She had told him once before, one too many times, that she was leaving, not to return. She couldn't bring those words to her mouth. She just stood there in silence, gripping onto the straps of her backpack and digging circles into the ground with her feet.

Daryl looked back and forth between Merle and Teagan and put the painful pieces together. “You... you ain't leaving. Ya can't be.”

Merle spoke for Teagan. “She has to.”

“Has to? What does that mean? Why? Just stay here. It's safer.”

“No. It's not. Daryl, please. I-”

“How can ya do this again? We brought you in n took care a ya, and ya fucking left. Thought you could come back just to leave again? The fuck-”

“I am doing this to save your life.” Daryl could hear the shattered tone to her voice.

“What?”

“If I stay here...” She swallowed hard. “If I stay, he'll kill all of you. Just for having me here.”

“You don't know that. He could-”

“No!” Her voice was louder than she intended. She calmed herself. “That is not a risk I am willing to take.” She paused and took in a deep breath. She was never one for many words, but she had so much to say. “You're right. You took me in and saved my life multiple times. I'm grateful for that. That is why I refuse to risk all of your lives for my own comfort. I can survive out there. I have before and I can do it again. I couldn't live with myself knowing you... anyone here got hurt or died because of me.” Her voice was shaky and sad.

Daryl stood dumbfounded for awhile. “How the hell ya gonna pull that off? Think he's really gonna believe us when we tell him ya up n left?” Daryl was desperate for her to stay.

“No, stupid. We're gonna leave him a lil message, to show him she's gone.” Merle crossed his arms proudly. Before Daryl could respond, another voice appeared from the darkness.

“Give who what message, exactly?”

Teagan recognized the voice and swore under her breath. “Shit.”