From the Shadows

Merle sighed deeply and was growing more agitated at the distraction.

“Listen officer friendly, we got shit to do. All ya'll coming out here for a little chat is jus slowin us down.” Merle's voice was angry and thoroughly fed-up.

Rick ignored Merle and addressed Teagan. “Mind telling me what you're planning?”

Daryl abruptly spoke before Teagan could. “She's plannin on leavin.”

Teagan was angry at Daryl for speaking for her. He spoke the truth, but she planned on phrasing it differently. His words made her sound like she was abandoning everyone, not attempting to save their lives.

“Is that true?” Rick put his hands on his hips and didn't break eye contact with Teagan. She sighed and crossed her arms. Should have just walked away instead of talking. Would be out of here, wouldn't be involving all these fucking people...She kept talking to herself and ignored Rick's question. In the dark, it was still apparent how uncomfortable Teagan was. Rick asked his question again. “Teagan, were you planning on leaving?”

She looked up at him and gained false confidence. “Yes.”

Rick was taken aback by her short, blunt answer. “Wanna tell me why?”

“To save yer fucking asses! How long is this going to take, Jesus christ almighty, yer fuckin this up and-”

“Merle, be quiet. I'm not asking you.” Rick was stern, and also growing agitated and the unsolicited outbursts from both Dixon brothers.

“I'm leaving for exactly the reason Merle said... in better terms, I'm trying to save your life. Everyone's life.”

“What are you talking about? How is leaving-”

Teagan interrupted Rick. She was growing tired of explaining the same story again and again. “The Governor knows I'm with you. He also knows where the prison is. He wants Merle dead and he wants me...” She paused. Merle gave her a stern look to change whatever answer she was going to give. She did. “Dead. He wants us both dead. He will not stop until that happens. You have a better chance if we leave. Staying here is a death sentence to everyone here.”

“How about we vote? We talk to the group. If what you say is true, they should know what threats are coming.” Rick was insistent; Daryl stayed quiet, fidgeting incessantly.

Teagan scoffed. “You want a vote]/ on my right to leave? You can vote all you want. You can ignore the facts that there is a pissed off, screwed over man out their wanting my head on a fucking pike. You'll instantly regret having me here when he has everyone you care about on their knees, waiting to die.”

There was silence. Teagan was hoping enough scare tactic would make Rick just let her go. She was wrong. “If he's as angry and vengeful as you say, he'll be coming here no matter where you are. We went in their to rescue you. We killed and hurt some of his men. You may be on his priority list, but we're not too far behind. We all leave or none of us do. We're strong as a group, not as broken parts.”

“He might leave you alone if he has something better to chase.” Teagan was running out of arguments. Each minute standing there made it harder and harder for her to actually leave.

“He's right.”

“What?” Teagan heard the words, but refused to believe who said them.

“Officer friendly is right, fer once.”

“What the fuck Merle?! This was your idea. Do not back out on me now.”

“I'm not backin out. Jus changin it around a little. Governor wants us dead, that bit's true. But if I remember the events of yer rescue correctly, officer friendly didn't exactly enter or leave peacefully. Guns a blazin' will have ticked the Governor off real quick.”

“You said before that you and Merle know the Governor well. You know his thought process, strategies... and how far he is willing to go. You won't be much help on the run.”

“If somethin happened out there, we wouldn't be there to help you. By yerself with a forest full of walkers and the Governor's men tryna get ya.” Daryl spoke for the first time in awhile. “Just like when we found you the first time.”

Teagan simply stood in silence. She was more conflicted now than she had ever been. She wouldn't know what the best decision would be until it was too late to make it. She clenched her fists until her knuckles were white, and closed her eyes, hoping for a simple solution.

“Please reconsider this. We'll talk to the group tomorrow.” Rick spoke his final words before going to join his family.

Merle went in to follow, but stopped to say one last thing. “Wanna give us a minute, baby brother?” Daryl furrowed his eyebrows and took several steps away, giving Teagan and Merle their privacy. “I know this wasn't what we planned. But-”

“Yeah. You fucking backed out last minute. The hell is wrong with you? We had this set for a reason.”

“I know but... if he caught us out there, if our plan didn't work-”

“It would have.”

“Be realistic here. He ain't stupid. He's a human fucking bloodhound, alright? He would have found us eventually. You know that. Deny it til you die, but you know it's true. If you thought last time was bad...”

“I know what he's capable of. More than you.” She turned to leave, and Merle sighed and went back into the prison. Teagan forgot Daryl was still wandering around the prison yard. She dropped her things and plopped herself on the ground. She bent her knees up towards her chest and buried her face in her hands. She sat in silence for awhile, struggling to push aside her thoughts. Daryl watched Merle walk away, and Teagan drop to the ground. His legs carried him over to where she sat. Without a word, he sat next to her. He was quiet, and he startled Teagan.

Teagan pulled her face from her hands and spoke softly. “Shouldn't be seeing this, you know.” She was ashamed that Daryl saw her be vulnerable, be weak. She thought no one was around, and took advantage prematurely. The only time she felt even slightly comfortable being vulnerable when there was no one around to see.

Daryl shrugged it off. “See what? Ya bein human? Ain't nothin to be ashamed of.”

Daryl's comment caught Teagan off guard. “Excuse me?”

“Ain't gotta be tough all the time. Or angry...” Teagan didn't know how to respond with words, for what Daryl told her was something nobody had ever said to her before. She was completely dumbfounded. She made a confused face and simply stared at him. Daryl chuckled a little bit but broke eye contact with her. “If ya ain't hurtin nobody, however yer feelin... is right.” Teagan looked at Daryl in silence. Daryl could feel her eyes on him, but when he turned to look at her, her eyes were sad. He wasn't sure what expression he was expecting from her, but it wasn't confused, desperate, child-like eyes. He bit his lip, and tried to keep talking, but a stone calcified in his throat.

“I mean... I just...” He huffed deeply and ran a hand through his filthy hair. “Look, I ain't real good with this stuff...” She still didn't say a word, but in the silence, Daryl still heard “keep talking.” He readjusted his sitting position and looked away from her, and up at the night sky. He couldn't look at her and say what he wanted; he was too nervous. “I don't know what happened at Woodbury. And I'm fine with never knowin if you feel like never tellin. But you gotta know that you have a place here, jus like everyone else. Ya jus can't keep runnin off all the damn time...”

“I'm sorry.” Teagan's voice was sad and shattered.

Daryl was surprised by her apology. The tone of her voice made him wince. Neither of them knew what to say.

Teagan hesitated on speaking, on revealing all the thoughts that plagued her mind. For some reason, she felt comfortable around Daryl, she felt safe; safer than she had ever felt. The words wanted to spill from her mouth, but ever other inch of her protested.

“Why?” Daryl broke the silence with a cough and an awkward tone.

“I just...” Teagan's voice quivered. She closed her eyes to try and stop her shaking. She stood up abruptly and began to pace. Before she could prevent it, she broke down. “I'm just a real screw up, you know? I'm utterly terrified.” Her quivering hands reflected the unsteadiness in her voice. Daryl stood up slowly, trying not to startle her. “I didn't want to go, I just had to. For you guys and... I had to run away. Every time someone looks at me with stupid fucking pity in their eyes, I can't help but remember. Remember how stupid I was to get caught, his face...” Her voice cracked. She took in a sharp, wavering breathe and kept going. She couldn't stop. Daryl simply stood there and let her talk. “I don't even think I'd even survive out there... not anymore. I'm just weak and maybe if I just ran away, I could leave it all behind. If I just left...” Daryl noticed she was crying. Teagan's voice caught in her throat like shards of glass. Quietly and without hesitating, Daryl walked over to the hysterical Teagan and held her. He wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders and over her upper back. For once, he didn't feel awkward or strange. Against his touch, she slumped her shoulders and heaved heavy sobs into his shoulder. She still had so much to say, but she felt so much lighter.

Daryl stood strong and continued to hold her, comfort her. Soft, whispered words slipped from his lips effortlessly. “It's okay to be scared. After all that, yer damn well allowed ta be. But ya don't gotta run, not no more. Yer safe here, I'll make sure a that.” Teagan soaked in the words like sunshine. After some time, Teagan stopped crying and they mutually pulled away from each other. After some silence, Daryl chuckled. “You'd survive.”

The exact words of Teagan's outburst were a blur; she didn't really understand what he was referencing to. “What?”

“If ya left, you'd make it. Hell, you'll outlive us all.” He twiddled his thumbs, and the smile didn't leave his face.

Teagan cocked her head and had a slight smile. “Sorry you, uh, had to see that...”

Daryl looked straight at her with a big grin. “See what?” They looked away from each other laughing.

They stood in silence and watched the sun rise. Teagan turned to Daryl and spoke. “You didn't sleep at all, did you?”

“You din't neither.”

“Suppose you're right. Maybe we should go inside. I'm sure they'll be a meeting as soon as everyone wakes up.”

Daryl simply grunted and they walked inside.