From the Shadows

Teagan had a hard time sleeping. She hummed Daryl to sleep, who was out like a light and didn't budge or shift the entire night. Every time she closed her eyes, horror ran past her eyelids. She could ignore most of it... the Governor's face, the cell she was held in, her torture... the image that kept her mind awake and anxious was a scene that never actually happened. Instead of her being in the chair, it was Daryl. Instead of her rescue, it was his. Her imagination was vivid and didn't leave out a single gruesome detail. Black bruises littered his face, broken and bleeding arms and hands, broken ribs... She tried to physically shake the image from her head. She instead focused on the calm, rhythmic breaths of Daryl. His face was soft and smudged with dirt and sweat. His large chest rose and fell silently. She ran her fingers through his sweaty, knotted hair and slowly drifted to ease. His warm, strong body soothed her. She felt her eyes grow heavy and her breathing slow down. Before she knew it, she was being awoken by Daryl clumsily crawling out of bed.

“What time is it?” She could never rub all of the sleep from her eyes.

“It's mornin'. Let's eat real quick and head on out while it's early.”

Teagan nearly rolled off the bed onto the floor from exhaustion. She put on her boots and stood up, stretching her stiff muscles. “Ready?” She spoke mid-yawn. Daryl simply nodded.

They walked downstairs to see nobody else was up.

“Carol must still be sleepin'.” Daryl gruffed.

“Good for her. She needs it. We can grab a can and feed ourselves.” Teagan grabbed some fruit and beans for her and Daryl to share. On their way out, they were stopped.

“No one's going out today.” Rick looked more tired than he ever had.

“Jus' huntin'. Be back 'fore too long.”

“I said nobody leaves. Not today.”

“Why the hell not? We need food.”

“We also need everyone alive. No one goes out until after tomorrow, once the deal's done.”

“Governor ain't stupid. He won't pull shit with a deal on the line.”

“I don't care. It ain't safe. He's unpredictable. Can't go out risking people before peace is made.”

Daryl and Rick exchanged glares before Daryl scoffed and marched back into the prison. Teagan stood awkwardly until Daryl left, and Rick's gaze moved to her. What used to be pure rage was now sadness with sprinkles of discontent. She nodded, put the cans back in storage, and went to follow Daryl. He was in their room pacing.

“It's bullshit, 'n' you know it.” He was nearly yelling.

“Daryl, keep your vice down. The sun has barely risen and everyone is still asleep. Let them rest.” Her voice was soft and caring.

“Why the hell we gotta stay here? We haven't had real meat in too damn long.”

Teagan lightly touched Daryl's shoulder. “Relax. We'll go out tomorrow. No big deal. We've postponed it before.”

“Before we had reasons.”

“We have reasons now.”

“Yeah, bullshit reasons!”

Teagan grabbed Daryl's hands and looked him in the eye. “Daryl, we'll go another time. Okay?” She smiled. She kept her voice soft to contrast his fuming tone. “I know it seems weird to us, but Rick has his reasons for things. He's not doing it to spite you. He's trying to help you.”

“Don't need his damn help.” He gruntled under his breath.

“We all need each other's help. We all have skills we contribute. Rick has his leadership. It's a hard job, even harder when people's live are literally in his care. Give him some credit.” Daryl didn't respond. “Imagine how bad he'd feel if we went out and something happened? We've lost so many people already. We can't afford to lose more.” Daryl scoffed and rolled his eyes.

When everyone else started to wake up, breakfast was served. Everyone made their way to the table and had small talk over measly portions. Daryl glared at Rick. Rick's gaze bounced between Hershel, Daryl, and Merle. Merle looked between Rick, Daryl, and Teagan. Teagan was the only one who was suspicious of the glance exchange. She quickly put the pieces together and got sick to her stomach. She only realized she was doing it when she dropped her spoon and everyone turned to her.

“You okay?” Glenn was always the first to make sure everyone was content.

“Y-yeah. Just fine.”

“You sure? I don't think telescopes have ever looked as far into space as you just were.”

The silly reference made her chuckle, but the boulder in her stomach didn't cease. “I'm fine, really. Probably just tired.”

“Yeah. You never get used to it, do you?”

“Nope. Never.” She wanted to distract herself, and she got up quickly. “Hey Carol, did you need help this morning?”

“Sure, of course. I'd love your help.”

Teagan gathered all the dirty dishes and began to scrub them furiously. They were clean in record time. She proceeded to dry them and place them back where they're kept.

“Well that was quick. Thanks!”

“Anything else?”

“Well, today is laundry day, if you want to help with that.”

“Sure.”

Carol laughed. “I'm not used to this much help. Usually everyone is off doing something else important.”

Teagan looked at Carol with sad eyes. “I wish I helped you more.”

“Oh please. You help us plenty; risking your life to find us food and supplies. We wouldn't even have clothes to wash without you. Or detergent to even wash them. You provide food, clothes, and protection for Sophia and everyone in this group. Hell, she may not even be here without you. I can't thank you enough.”

The comment put a smile on Teagan's face, as do most of Carol's words. Teagan tried to keep busy throughout the day. She helped Maggie in the garden, and helped Carol with the dishes for the rest of the meals. She even helped keep watch even when she had done it the night prior.

By nightfall, all the possible chores had been completed. The group had settled in for some sleep before they had to awake again and return to their survival tedium. When the main part of the prison had cleared, Teagan returned to where the food was stored and started organizing. She was too focused to notice Daryl walking behind her.

“Just like Hershel's books, huh?” No response. “Teagan?”

“Almost done.” Daryl patiently waited for Teagan to finish organizing the food by type and then alphabetically. “There.” She turned around with her hands on her hips.

Daryl chuckled. “Come on, let's go ta bed.”

Both of them headed upstairs. Once the door was closed, Daryl turned to face Teagan. His previous smile had disappeared, and concern flooded his face. “Is everything alright with you? Hardly saw ya all day.”

The words Teagan wanted to say, but knew she couldn't, bombarded the back of her throat. “There is something I need to tell you...”

Daryl saw her hesitation and prompted her to speak. “It's alrigh'.”

Teagan's words caught in her throat and crumbled into ash. She had made a decision, and acted quickly before she could change her mind. She reached up and grabbed Daryl's face. She stood on her tip-toes, even though she was not much shorter than him, pulled his face close to her and kissed him. She ran her fingertips through his scruffy beard until she reached his hair, tugging on it lightly. Daryl's eyes opened wide in surprise, but closed quickly. He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her in closer. The kiss felt like several minutes, but was only a few seconds long. Teagan pulled away looking embarrassed.

“So, what was it you wanted ta tell me?” He chuckled.

“Sorry.” She bit her lip and turned away. Shouldn't have done that.

“No, com'ere.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to face him. “You don't need ta be sorry. If I'm honest, kinda wanted ta do that myself for a long time.”

“Why didn't you?”

He shrugged. “Wasn't sure how you'd react. Not sure ya felt the same way. Didn't wanna get slapped. And I've seen yer knife skills. Wasn't gonna fuck with that.” The comment made Teagan laugh, which prompted a smile to creep onto Daryl's face. His smile dropped and his gaze turned away. “And ta be real truthful... wasn't sure I knew what ta do anyway.”

Teagan held both of Daryl's hands. She she stood on tip-toe again and kissed his forehead, then kissed his hands. She smiled, and even in the dim light, Daryl could see the rare twinkle in her eye he'd only seen once or twice before. “Let's go to bed. Tomorrow's a big day.” He nodded and followed her into bed. Daryl rested on his back and lifted his arm, allowing Teagan to crawl under it and rest her head on his chest. Teagan shifted her head to look up at Daryl's face, and he looked back down at her.

Teagan: I want to say it. That's what I wanted to say, before I kissed you... but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I've felt it for a long time and it scares me. You're the first person I've truly felt this way for, and I don't know how to handle it. I've never said it before I met you, because I'd never meant it until now. I don't want to scare you aware. I've seen it said so many times and things fell apart and I... I don't want to lose you. I hope I can tell you. I hope I can look you in the eyes and say “I love you” before it's to late...

Daryl: I need ta tell ya how I feel, but I can't get mahself ta do it. I wasn't sure how ya felt until ya kissed me and now... I can't stop feeling how those words feel at the back of my throat... just can't bring 'em out of my mouth. Can't say I've felt this way before... not truly anyway. I thought I did but that was nothin' compared ta this. Those words carry power, 'n' I don't want you ta run away if I speak too soon. I want ta say it, more than anything in the world, to look you in the eye and say “I love you.”

Without another word, both Teagan and Daryl fell asleep.