The Mixtape of Hatred

Jack was surprised at Alex, the boy almost cancelled the whole tour just because Jack had fainted twice (he thanked Verity so much for that).

But now? He felt really bad.

Alex could lose everything if he keeps this up, and to be honest, the mixtape is starting to fuck his whole life up for him. It was tearing him apart to see Alex give up almost everything for him, and as he sat in the rental car with Rian driving him back home, he wonders why he it took him years to figure out that he loved him back.

Alex demanded to sit on the backseat, claiming that he needed some time to catch up with Jack, but Jack could tell that he'd just stopped crying.

"Um, you guys really don't need to do this," Jack trailed off, trying to figure out what the blobs outside the window were, "I can just get a cab or something."

"Dude, you can't see, I doubt you'll end up in a cab," Rian chuckled, "Wheree do you live?"

Jack half heartedly muttered his address, these guys have done a lot of things for him, and all he did to them was cause Alex heartbreak.

"Um, when we get there, you guys can stay for dinner, I think I have some really good pasta that my sister made for me somewhere," he offered.

"No, it's okay," Rian answers, "We need to get back, anyway."

"I insist, dude, after all, you guys have done lots of things for me, I really think I should return the favour."

"You don't have to, Jack, it's fine," Alex finally spoke.

"Please? For old times sake?"



Jack, with his vision back, took a couple of plates and mugs, he set them on the dinner table and poured some coffee into both mugs, asking the boys beforehand what kind of coffee they drink.

Alex have managed to disappear into the small apartment, but Rian told him specifically what he liked.

When he'd finished preparing the meal, he decided to look for Alex.

He walked around, checking every room possible as he walked, but what he did not expect was to hear sniffling inside his room.

And there he was, curled up in a ball.

"Alex, are you okay?" Jack whispered.

"I'm f-fine," Alex sniffled, "Just go back to dining with Rian."

"Alex, I-"

"I said fuck off, Jack!" he snapped, "Why are you here? Why are you back, just when I'd just gotten used to dating a boy who actually liked me back?"

Jack walked up to the sobbing boy, sitting down right beside him before putting his arms around him, comforting the boy as he cried.

He wanted so badly to answer him, to tell him that he's been having these flashbacks of memories that've probably faded like photographs, memories of them he didn't even remember ever happening before; but he knew the elder would never believe him.

"To be honest," he muttered, despite the lies that was going to come out of his mouth in a few seconds, "I was looking at our old yearbook and I saw you, the one person I haven't contacted since we'd graduated, and found out that you were a little rockstar now, just like what you've always dreamed of, and I wanted to see you do what you love the most."

Alex sighed, "That's a lie, Jack," he looked at the other boy, "For once in your life, can you please tell me the truth?"

"I am telling the truth, Lex," he whispered, "Why're you crying?"

"I don't know!" he sobbed, "I'm singlehandedly destroying my career over a boy who never loved me, and probably never will, my fucking boyfriend pretty much dumped me, my life's in ruins, I hate it, Jack, I hate the fact that my life turned out like this, I'm a liar, a faker, and worst of all, people look up to me," he took a breath, letting his voice get less audiable word after word, but the one thing the other boy could muster was, "There's you, and there's Tanner. You, the one who'd managed to confuse me in short period of time, and Tanner, the boy who's done nothing but love me unconditinally, and I don't know if he actually did dump me or not, but I've never felt so alone; not since you dumped me years ago."



Alex's words hit him like a big, yellow school bus. It was in a way true, but false at the same time. Jack knew that he loved the boy back, he always will, mainly because Alex was his best friend, all the promises he made to him, he's never broken, well, not on purpose.

It was in a way, one of the most confusing moments of his entire life.

And what did he say right after the boy pretty much poured his heart out at him?

"I got a unicorn shirt when I was younger, I thought it was a unicorn, but it turns out that it was a pony and I cried for hours."

He's an idiot.

He blew his one chance to change everything, to maybe, just maybe, have his best friend back.

And after Rian and Alex left to go back to their tour, Jack wondered why he even deserves a second chance.