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The Mixtape of Hatred
your bed
Alex blew kisses out the window of his apartment down to Tanner, who was just about to get into his car. Tanner paused at the door to look up at Alex, smirking and laughing at Alex’s cuteness.
Alex continued to hold up love-heart-hands and wave and blow kisses until Tanner had driven out of view. He sighed, and paced mindlessly around the apartment. He didn’t know what to do now. Tanner was going back to his parents’ place for the weekend, along with his sister. They were having this whole ‘family reunion’ thing. It would only be for two nights, but Alex felt lonely already.
He wondered how his own family was doing. They hadn’t spoken in over a month. It wasn’t that they were having some sort of fight or weren’t interested in each others’ lives, but they simply left each other alone and did their own thing.
Alex wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a stack of XL chocolate chip cookies – his breakfast. He gobbled down the cookies as he wandered into his shared bedroom with Tanner. He jumped onto the bed and lay on his back to observe the empty, white ceiling, spilling crumbs all over the spotless blue sheets.
He was going to go crazy if he didn’t find something to do.
He finished off his last cookie before rolling off the bed and heading towards his tiny makeshift studio. It had originally been a guest bedroom, but him and Tanner agreed that they’d practically never have visitors, and changed it into a studio for Alex instead. Tanner had suggested that they move into a house instead, so that Alex would have plenty of space for his music, but Alex preferred apartments. They didn’t seem so empty when he was home alone.
What the hell, he may as well write a new song now, since he had nothing better to do. The best way for him to find something to write about was by half-meditating. He would sit there and let his mind wander, but wander cautiously. He would take note of what came across his mind, and whichever one seemed interesting would be one he’d write about.
Today, his mind went to Tanner. It went to Tanner and then it went to Tanner’s eyes and then it went to Tanner’s body and then it went to him and Tanner having goodbye-sex last night and then it went to sex and then it went to Jack.
What??
His eyes flew open and he wanted to punch himself.
“Where are you now, Jack?” Alex wondered aloud, remembering Jack’s manager threatening to fire him the day that he said he never loved Jack.
He laughed at himself. He was such an idiot. How could he let him go, and hurt him, yet still care?
“I’m a fool for asking, but I let you under my skin, and I’ve never been the same again.” Alex said aloud. He strummed a chord on his guitar and tried to turn the lyrics into a melody, but it didn’t sound right. Instead, he decided to write out the lyrics first, and hopefully a melody would come to him.
Where are you now?
I’m a fool for asking
But I
Let you under my skin
And I
I’ve never been the same again
So don’t ask me how
I keep myself together
‘Cause I’m hardly together
And I
Gladly surrender
But I
I can’t find the nerve to say
“You’re so right”
I can’t find the nerve to say
“I miss you more than anybody should.”
Alex stared at the last line, not realizing how true it was until he had inked it down on paper.
So take me to your bed
And we can mess around
Like we never meant anything we said
I need you to feel again
Don’t mess around
Just let me in
And take me to your bed
Alex’s heart clenched as he reread what he had written, wishing he could deny the fact that it would take him years to get over Jack. He quickly and messily folded up the paper, before stashing it underneath one of the cupboards and left the room, just as a knock came on the door.
Alex sprinted towards the door, sliding across the smooth floor in his fluffy socks. Tanner probably forgot something and came back, which Alex would be ecstatic about, but deep inside, he knew that he would rather see Jack at the door than anybody else.
He yanked the door open with a smile, but the smile drooped when he saw that it was just the apartment mail dude, Nick, who delivered newspapers and other mail to afford college tuition.
“Hey, Nick.” Alex greeted him.
“Hi, Alex.” Nick gave him his little tired smile before holding his hands out, which were holding a small box.
“I don’t remember ordering anything.” Alex recalled.
“It’s a gift, then, I guess.” Nick shrugged, turning the box over in his hands. “It’s to Tanner, anyways.”
“Oh, I see.” Alex took the box from his hands. “Thanks, dude.” He stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out its contents, which were mostly empty gum wrappers with a couple of five-dollar bills. He handed him one of the bills.
“Thanks, Alex.” Nick said gratefully before leaving.
Alex took the box back to the living room and set it on the table. It wasn’t wrapped up too much or anything. There were no words on it, except that it was addressed to Tanner. No return address or message. He considered calling Tanner, to ask what this thing was about. He also considered opening the package up, just for the sake of making sure it’s not a bomb.
Alex sighed. This stupid box would be haunting his mind for the entire weekend if he didn’t find out what it was, so Alex carefully took off a piece of tape that closed the packaging around the box, allowing the box to easily slide out of the package. He opened the box and looked inside.
A mixtape.
A mixtape?
Who uses mixtapes these days?
Alex laughed. How silly. He wondered what on earth would be on it. Even Green Day didn’t ever use mixtapes. He flipped the mixtape over to see if it had a track listing, but it didn’t show any. Luckily, Alex had a mixtape player installed into his CD player, so he popped the mixtape in and lay back in his orange beanbag chair, preparing himself for awful 1950s rock music to play.
”Welcome to the Mixtape of Hatred.” It said.
“Thanks.” Alex told the mixtape.
”Tanner Anderson, you have received the Mixtape of Hatred. Congratulations. If you are not Tanner Anderson, please remove the mixtape immediately, as this may end with unwanted results. Please enjoy the choice of songs the mixer has chosen for you. Have a nice evening!”
Alex shrugged. What’s the worst that could happen?
He blacked out.
Alex continued to hold up love-heart-hands and wave and blow kisses until Tanner had driven out of view. He sighed, and paced mindlessly around the apartment. He didn’t know what to do now. Tanner was going back to his parents’ place for the weekend, along with his sister. They were having this whole ‘family reunion’ thing. It would only be for two nights, but Alex felt lonely already.
He wondered how his own family was doing. They hadn’t spoken in over a month. It wasn’t that they were having some sort of fight or weren’t interested in each others’ lives, but they simply left each other alone and did their own thing.
Alex wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a stack of XL chocolate chip cookies – his breakfast. He gobbled down the cookies as he wandered into his shared bedroom with Tanner. He jumped onto the bed and lay on his back to observe the empty, white ceiling, spilling crumbs all over the spotless blue sheets.
He was going to go crazy if he didn’t find something to do.
He finished off his last cookie before rolling off the bed and heading towards his tiny makeshift studio. It had originally been a guest bedroom, but him and Tanner agreed that they’d practically never have visitors, and changed it into a studio for Alex instead. Tanner had suggested that they move into a house instead, so that Alex would have plenty of space for his music, but Alex preferred apartments. They didn’t seem so empty when he was home alone.
What the hell, he may as well write a new song now, since he had nothing better to do. The best way for him to find something to write about was by half-meditating. He would sit there and let his mind wander, but wander cautiously. He would take note of what came across his mind, and whichever one seemed interesting would be one he’d write about.
Today, his mind went to Tanner. It went to Tanner and then it went to Tanner’s eyes and then it went to Tanner’s body and then it went to him and Tanner having goodbye-sex last night and then it went to sex and then it went to Jack.
What??
His eyes flew open and he wanted to punch himself.
“Where are you now, Jack?” Alex wondered aloud, remembering Jack’s manager threatening to fire him the day that he said he never loved Jack.
He laughed at himself. He was such an idiot. How could he let him go, and hurt him, yet still care?
“I’m a fool for asking, but I let you under my skin, and I’ve never been the same again.” Alex said aloud. He strummed a chord on his guitar and tried to turn the lyrics into a melody, but it didn’t sound right. Instead, he decided to write out the lyrics first, and hopefully a melody would come to him.
Where are you now?
I’m a fool for asking
But I
Let you under my skin
And I
I’ve never been the same again
So don’t ask me how
I keep myself together
‘Cause I’m hardly together
And I
Gladly surrender
But I
I can’t find the nerve to say
“You’re so right”
I can’t find the nerve to say
“I miss you more than anybody should.”
Alex stared at the last line, not realizing how true it was until he had inked it down on paper.
So take me to your bed
And we can mess around
Like we never meant anything we said
I need you to feel again
Don’t mess around
Just let me in
And take me to your bed
Alex’s heart clenched as he reread what he had written, wishing he could deny the fact that it would take him years to get over Jack. He quickly and messily folded up the paper, before stashing it underneath one of the cupboards and left the room, just as a knock came on the door.
Alex sprinted towards the door, sliding across the smooth floor in his fluffy socks. Tanner probably forgot something and came back, which Alex would be ecstatic about, but deep inside, he knew that he would rather see Jack at the door than anybody else.
He yanked the door open with a smile, but the smile drooped when he saw that it was just the apartment mail dude, Nick, who delivered newspapers and other mail to afford college tuition.
“Hey, Nick.” Alex greeted him.
“Hi, Alex.” Nick gave him his little tired smile before holding his hands out, which were holding a small box.
“I don’t remember ordering anything.” Alex recalled.
“It’s a gift, then, I guess.” Nick shrugged, turning the box over in his hands. “It’s to Tanner, anyways.”
“Oh, I see.” Alex took the box from his hands. “Thanks, dude.” He stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out its contents, which were mostly empty gum wrappers with a couple of five-dollar bills. He handed him one of the bills.
“Thanks, Alex.” Nick said gratefully before leaving.
Alex took the box back to the living room and set it on the table. It wasn’t wrapped up too much or anything. There were no words on it, except that it was addressed to Tanner. No return address or message. He considered calling Tanner, to ask what this thing was about. He also considered opening the package up, just for the sake of making sure it’s not a bomb.
Alex sighed. This stupid box would be haunting his mind for the entire weekend if he didn’t find out what it was, so Alex carefully took off a piece of tape that closed the packaging around the box, allowing the box to easily slide out of the package. He opened the box and looked inside.
A mixtape.
A mixtape?
Who uses mixtapes these days?
Alex laughed. How silly. He wondered what on earth would be on it. Even Green Day didn’t ever use mixtapes. He flipped the mixtape over to see if it had a track listing, but it didn’t show any. Luckily, Alex had a mixtape player installed into his CD player, so he popped the mixtape in and lay back in his orange beanbag chair, preparing himself for awful 1950s rock music to play.
”Welcome to the Mixtape of Hatred.” It said.
“Thanks.” Alex told the mixtape.
”Tanner Anderson, you have received the Mixtape of Hatred. Congratulations. If you are not Tanner Anderson, please remove the mixtape immediately, as this may end with unwanted results. Please enjoy the choice of songs the mixer has chosen for you. Have a nice evening!”
Alex shrugged. What’s the worst that could happen?
He blacked out.
♠ ♠ ♠
Oooh ooh oooooohhhh excitin stuff is goin downnI'm writing this story and I'm getting all excited for the direction of this story now heh. You're welcome, guys ;)
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