The Mixtape of Hatred

Jack was in peace.

He might not be in complete and utter bliss, but he's enjoying his peaceful life, without the loud beeps of the coffee machine, without Brent screaming coffee orders at him, without all the drama.

As Cookie purred in his lap, he wondered why it has never been like this, even prior to the Alex incident, he's always had a gaping hole in his heart, he never really noticed that before, but when he did, he also found out that maybe Alex wasn't the one he needed to fill that gaping hole, maybe it's time to let go.

But at the same time, he loved Alex; more than he should, considering that his feelings are not returned, but he can't help it. He's let the boy go once in his life, and deep down, he really didn't want to do it again. It's the hardest thing he's ever done, letting the boy go.

He was in a constant dilemma.

Was he like this when he'd first let the boy go?



He was pouring kitten food for his hungry Cookie. The apartment was silent apart from the sound of the dry cat food hitting the bottom of the porcelain bowl, and the small mewls coming out of Cookie's throat. He smiled as he saw how happily his kitten ate his food.

"You're already so big," he muttered at how significantly bigger his tiny kitten had grown. Cookie used to barely fit in palms, now he was the size of his hand.

He heard a knock on his apartment door, breaking his trail of thoughts.

When he opened the door, he was greeted by a little surprise.

"Brent?"

There he was, his boss, who usually rocks the hipster beard look, but now it looks a little bit trimmed, with his messy hair styled, and a smile on his face.

"Hi," he greeted, "May I come in?"

"Sure, uh," Jack let his boss in, "What are you doing here?" He asked as he closed the door behind him.

"I just, I feel like this whole thing is partially my fault, since I was the one who triggered the confession."

Jack shook his head, no, it wasn't his fault at all, it was Tanner and Alex's, but in a way, it was all Tanner.

"I'm really sorry, Jack, I shouldn't have picked a fight with them, if I didn't, you wouldn't have heard him admit that he-"

"Stop," Jack cut him off, "It's fine, now that I know that it's a lost cause, I think I'm ready to move on."

"But I'm still in fault here, Jack, I ruined the name of the shop, I humiliated myself and my employees, I pretty much threw coffee at a customer, and-"

"Then you should be apologizing to Alex, not to me," Jack said, yet again cutting him off.

"You're not listening to me, Jack."

"I am, Brent, and you're wasting your apologies on the wrong person."

"No," the other boy walked closer towards Jack, "I did it out of jealousy. I did it because he hurt you, and you don't deserve being hurt by an asshole like him, I did it because I liked you."

"I like you, too, Brent," he told him, "You're a great friend, and-"

He was cut off by a pair of lips on his.



Brent's lips were nothing like Alex's. Alex's were soft and velvety smooth, due to all the lip balm he uses, Brent's were chapped and a little rough. Alex tastes like blueberries, Brent tasted like coffee. Alex's kisses were slow and loving, Brent's were needy and desperate.

Nevertheless, it was a good kiss, so Jack decided to do the one decent thing and kiss back. He knew that pushing the other boy away would possibly cost him his job, and even though the kiss reminds him of the time he'd kissed Alex for the first time, he felt a little strange, doing this, it was like a little part of him felt like he was cheating on Alex.

Speaking of Alex, he needs to stop thinking about him, the boy had shattered his heart into a million pieces, he doesn't deserve to be thought of right now.

Brent broke the kiss with a satisfied smile on his face, but when he leant in to kiss the other again, Jack sighed.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not ready," Jack admitted.

Brent shrugged, "That's okay, I'll wait until you are," he kissed the top of the other's head, "I'll see you at work."

Meanwhile, Jack doesn't know what to do. He was, yet again, torn.