The Mixtape of Hatred

When Alex opened his eyes again. He was no longer in his living room, but in a vast room of emptiness. He saw nothing but white for as far as he could see. He then turned around to see Rian. Alex exhaled in relief.

“Hey, Ri. What’s up?” Alex asked.

Rian shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Look, I didn’t send you the mixtape, so I really shouldn’t be the one doing this…”

Alex frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Rian shoved his hands in his pockets and looked out in the distance as if there actually were anything interesting to see. “The Mixtape of Hatred? Alex, you weren’t supposed to put that on.”

Alex shrugged. “So what? It’s a mixtape with a fancy name.”

“Let me explain. Basically, you’re supposed to send the mixtape to your enemies to make them face their worst mistakes and to fuck up their lives. Lets say Dude 1 hates Dude 2. Dude 1 puts a bunch of songs and memories into the mixtape and sends it to Dude 2, and then Dude 1 walks Dude 2 through the mixtape until Dude 2 basically goes insane and fills with regret. It’s cruel. Then, Dude 2 gets to do the same to someone Dude 2 hates.” Rian explained. “I don’t even know how I know that. What I do know is that Tanner’s supposed to be in your shoes and someone else is supposed to be in mine.”

“Oh.” Alex didn’t really believe that a mixtape could completely screw over someone’s life. What kind of a joke was this?

“Either way, I have to do this now…” Rian said, looking nervous. “This is supposed to be easy to do, since I’m supposed to hate you, but yeah, sorry for the stuff I’ll have to show you now. Just know that I never would’ve intended to do this. I guess I was just put here because we’re close or something.”

Alex smiled. “Nah, it’s cool. Let’s just get this over with.”

Rian wore a look of guilt and pity as the white room began to morph into a different setting. A dark room with colorful stage lights flashing as bodies moved to a steady beat. Prom night.

“Dude! This is our high school prom.” Alex laughed excitedly. “Remember?”

Rian gave Alex a disapproving look. “You know, there’s a reason we’re here.”

Alex raised his eyebrow. “Does something bad happen here? I don’t remember anything bad.”

Rian nodded slowly, “Exactly.”

Soon enough, He saw himself. High school Alex Gaskarth, looking like the little shy boy he'd always been. Little-Alex was linked by the arm with little-Tanner. Both of them were dressed in suits with matching corsages.

Young Alex looked extremely nervous as his eyes scanned the room, his focus darting from one corner of the room to the other. He was practically clinging on to Tanner’s arm.

Alex watched as Tanner kissed the top of his younger self’s head comfortingly before whispering something into his ear.

Young Alex smiled slightly and stuck close to Tanner as they began to walk around.

'This is good.' Alex thought. 'We look happy. Maybe Rian was wrong about this.'

Rian and Alex followed young Alex and Tanner further as they made their way over to the drinks.

Soon enough, a younger version of Jack approached young Alex, without anyone linked by the arm. Tanner instantly moved closer to young Alex protectively and smiles were nowhere to be seen.

“What do you want, Barakat?” Tanner hissed.

Jack stared right at young Alex. He ignored Tanner and asked, “Alex, can we go talk somewhere?”

Young Alex froze, panicked. He stared at Tanner, who seemed to be stiffening by the moment.

“That’s what you want? You want to come along and ruin Alex’s prom night, too? You’ve already fucked up enough of his life, you bastard.” Tanner growled.

Jack ignored Tanner, and instead continued staring at young Alex, waiting for an answer.

Alex watched as his younger self hugged Tanner’s arm close and whispered into his ear, “Maybe I should go talk to him. Cut everything off, y’know?”

Tanner’s sharp glare snapped to young Alex, who flinched. “Promise you’ll cut everything off, though. You’re soft, Alex, and he’ll try to manipulate you. Remember all the crap he’s done to you, and promise this will end.”

Alex remembered now. He didn’t plan to actually “cut things off” with Jack, his sorta-best friend.

It pained Alex to watch as his younger self nodded, saying, “I promise”, before walking off with Jack.

“Oh,” Alex said simply, saddened and defeated.

Rian nodded beside him. “Do you wanna go watch what happens next?”

Alex shook his head. “No, Rian. I know what happens next.”

Rian gave me a pitying look. “I’m supposed to show you…”

“He apologized and said that he cancelled his date and he was alone and said I was his best friend and that he loved me no matter what. Me? I got angry, hit him, and left.” Alex snapped. “I know what happens, god damn it.” He knew that he was crying, but he couldn’t tell if it was out of sadness or anger or frustration. He was furious at his younger self for hurting Jack the way he did, and now he was devastated, because he knew that there was no way he could get Jack now.

Alex closed his eyes as an attempt to hide his tears, and when he opened them again, him and Rian were back in the white room of emptiness.

Rian waited for Alex to speak.

“So you’re saying that my biggest mistake was hurting Jack on prom night?” Alex finally asked.

“No, Alex.” Rian put an arm around him. “Look at the bigger picture. It wasn’t just that night. Jack was and is a jerk, but you loved and love him.”