The Mixtape of Hatred

“Come on, Alex. Cheer up.” Tanner said, tossing a cheerio towards Alex, who let it bounce off of his nose without flinching. “Babe, that’s all so much in the past. There has to be some point where you move on.”

Alex remained silent. He still hadn’t told Tanner why he’d been crying earlier, but the answer was easy enough to guess.

The two of them sat together on their sofa, and Tanner had a box of cereal in his hands. He got hungry.

Alex was starving, but he refused to eat. He was too upset to eat, and his mind was elsewhere.

Tanner sighed, putting the box down and taking Alex’s hand in his. Soothingly, he said, “Alex, you can’t just do this all the time. I know he means a lot to you, but look, it’s never worked out. If you would just give us a chance, everything will be fine.”

But what was so “fine” about being with someone who you didn’t love? Alex didn’t dare say it out loud, or it would send everything they’ve built spinning into chaos.

“I know he seems like a sweet guy, but you have to remember all the trouble he’s caused. He practically bullied you in high school, and who was there to save you? Me. I’ve always been by your side, Alex, and you seriously shouldn’t take that for granted.”

Alex swore he heard an edge of irritation in Tanner’s voice, but chose to ignore it. He was too busy thinking about the letter that Jack had written to him oh so long ago, but more importantly, the promise he had made at the end. Alex wondered now, if he truly were to just show up on Jack’s doorstep, would he open that door with a heart full of hope and love? Feelings like that don’t last forever. Was it worth a shot?

“Alex!” Tanner yelled, tossing Alex’s hand away.

Alex blinked. He had tuned out of Tanner’s words.

“Honestly, I’ve been nothing but good to you, so why can’t you do the same for me?” Tanner stood up abruptly and threw his hands in the air as he paced back and forth. “I’ve always loved you, and Jack? He’s a fucking jerk. He’s never been here for you. He’s just – ugh! Why can’t you forget about him? He doesn’t love you! I do! Can’t you see that? Why do you have to be so goddamn blind and why the fuck can’t you ever fucking move on?”

Alex, pulled back into reality, looked up at Tanner, who stood in front of Alex with his hands on his hips, glaring down.

Well, this was it.

“Because I don’t love you. I love Jack.” He said quietly but firmly.

Tanner’s eyes flared and his hands clenched into shaking fists. He let loose a string of swear words and insults as his fist flew, making contact with Alex’s jaw.

Alex yelped in pain and lifted his hands to protect himself, but Tanner had no mercy. Tanner landed another punch on Alex’s arm and another two on the side of his head and Alex saw stars. The room seemed to sway before him and the dehydration and hunger seemed to finally catch up to him.

A shaky, blurry figure of Tanner still stood before him, and Alex used the last ounce of energy he had to bolt towards the nearby bedroom and slam the door shut, twisting the lock before collapsing on the floor.

***

When Alex regained consciousness hours later, his body felt heavy and he could hear his blood pump in his head. Tanner had slid a note under the door, but Alex was in no shape to be reading, especially not an apology note from an unforgiveable act.

Instead, he pulled his phone from his pocket and did it.

At last, he called Jack.

His heart pumped a dozen times to match each beep of the phone.

The phone rang a torturing five times before a voice said, “Hello?”

“J-Jack?” Alex whimpered, knowing that the voice didn’t belong to Jack.

“This isn’t Jack. Who’s calling?”

“Um. A-Alex…”

“Alex? Gaskarth?” He heard a sigh. “Why the hell are you calling Jack?”

Alex didn’t answer.

“Well, he’s not here at the moment.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Brent.”

Alex nodded slowly. “I remember you. You were the guy at the café.”

“Yeah? Well that ‘guy at the café’ is now Jack’s fiancé.”

Alex’s eyes widened and he nearly dropped the phone. He tried to yell out but the words wouldn’t come.

“Yup, Jack and I are getting married, so if you’d please stay out of our lives, we’d appreciate that. Thanks.”

Beep… beep… beep…