The Mixtape of Hatred

Alex’s mouth automatically stretched into a huge grin as he looked down from the dark, hidden balcony and saw the mass of fans who had paid so much extra money just to see him. Some of them came to see his touring band, but in the end, they were mostly here for him.

Because there were so many people (he was in his hometown, after all), they didn’t allow all of the fans into the room at the same time. The fans were all lined up to enter a room beside the venue. Once they were done with their little meet and greet, the fans would go through a door at the back of the room and be the first to enter the venue.

Alex made his way downstairs and went through a door on the side of the room (yes, the room had many doors). The rest of the touring band was already there, waiting for him. The three of them stood in a little circle with their heads bowed. They seemed to be whispering to each other in urgent tones.

“Hey guys.” Alex greeted them, walking over.

Rian’s head snapped up and he threw on a huge smile. “Hey Alex!”

Alex raised his eyebrow at how strange his band was acting, but decided not to question them. They were probably just really excited and nervous about this show. It was a sold-out show in one of the biggest venues they’d ever played at, so Alex was a little nervous too.

“Have you guys seen how many people showed up for the meet and greet? It’s sick!” Alex squealed in excitement.

“I know!” Zack added. “Imagine how many people are going to be at the show!”

“Guys, it’s 6. The fans should be coming in any minute now, so let’s not stand around looking like a bunch of unprepared fifth graders, alright?” Matt laughed.

The four of them took their positions, standing next to a large, white backdrop.

The door opened and in walked the first group of fans.

There were three guys and two girls who all looked to be around 15 or 16 years old. One of the girls instantly gave out a muffled squeal and ran up to Alex. She froze a centimeter away from him and asked, “Wait, I can hug you, right?”

Alex laughed loudly and wrapped his arms around the girl tightly, lifting her up in the air. The girl shrieked and giggled, hugging Alex back, her brown curls bobbing up and down. Alex’s heart warmed and he smiled widely at the girls’ cuteness. Meeting his fans was literally one of his favorite things to do.

“Hey there! What’s your name?” Alex asked.

“I’m Kaitlyn.” The girl introduced herself. “Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you.” Kaitlyn’s voice cracked slightly as she went in for another hug.

Alex held her tightly and stroked her hair comfortingly as Kaitlyn started crying. “Hey, yeah, it’s me. I’m not going anywhere. You’ll be okay.” He whispered soothingly, looking up to see the rest of her friends talking to his band.

Kaitlyn and Alex had a tearful conversation before Matt pointed out that they’d be here until midnight if they spent this much time with every fan. The group and the band stood on the backdrop and took a few photos together. Before leaving, Kaitlyn handed Alex a beautifully wrapped box with a silver card attached to it.

Alex thanked Kaitlyn and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. Kaitlyn, bubbling with excitement and joyfulness, said, “I love you! I’ll be in the front row. I’ll see you!”

“I’ll be looking for you.” Alex replied with a wink and watched as the first group of fans disappeared out of the door.

Groups and individuals came and went. Some were memorable, and some not so much. Alex had a hidden pile of gifts and letters behind the backdrop that he couldn’t wait to look at. He was exhausted though, yet still full of joy.

“Was that the last group?” Rian asked when a group of fans left.

One of the security guards nodded, but motioned for Rian to go over. The guard whispered to Rian, who responded with a vigorous shake of his head. The guard shrugged and left the room.

Rian made his way back over to us. “You guys ready to play an awesome show?”

***

“Break another mirror,”

“To keep away the stares.”

“Of another guilty reflex.”

“A reflection left in tears.”

Alex smiled to himself when the crowd finished line after line for him. He ran to the front of the stage and examined the crowd, looking for familiar faces. There was this one time he played a show in his hometown and apparently his old chemistry teacher had showed up. It was a pretty hilarious moment.

He spotted the face of Kaitlyn pressed up against the barricade, waving her hands frantically and singing along. Alex pointed at her as he sang, “You are my only one.”

Kaitlyn’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped, her hands flying to her mouth instantly as she screamed. Her screaming was drowned out by the shouts of all the other fans trying to get Alex’s attention. Alex winked at Kaitlyn and continued to sing as he looked further into the crowd. He couldn’t see far, because the crowd wasn’t lit and half of it was hidden in the shadow.

He continued to sing as he watched the crowd. He wanted to stage dive really badly, but this song wasn’t really suitable for it. He’d have to wait until the next song. His eyes flickered around as he wondered which part of the crowd had stronger people who wouldn’t drop him. It had happened to him once, and it wasn’t pleasant.

He made eye contact with someone near the edge of the crowd, just barely within the part of the crowd that he was able to see.

Alex looked away instantly, sprinting towards the other side of the stage as he finished the song. His mind was spinning and his voice probably cracked a few times. His smile was frozen on his face as he tried to understand what was going on.

“Hey! You guys having fun tonight?” Alex yelled into his microphone, his voice being amplified and booming across the venue.

He heard screaming.

“Playing shows at home are the best shows.” He continued, turning around to look at his band. “Right, guys?”

“Hell yeah!” Zack shouted into his microphone.

“And sometimes,” Alex continued. “Sometimes my old high school friends and teachers come out to see the show. It’s pretty awesome.” Alex glanced back and quickly observed the expression of each one of his band members’ faces. Yup. They all knew.

Alex looked down, hiding his anger, frustration, and confusion.

Why was Jack constantly messing with Alex’s concerts? What the hell was going on?

“I gotta pee.” Alex announced, dropping his microphone and guitar, and turning to run backstage, only to run into Matt.

“If you gotta pee, do it on stage.” Matt joked. Alex didn’t think it was funny, but the crowd roared with laughter and cheered in approval.

Alex gave Matt a disapproving look.

“Dude, you peed just before the show started, and you haven’t had enough water all day. You saw the jerk, but just ignore him, alright? Pretend he’s not there.” Matt gave him a little pep talk and shoved Alex back towards his microphone and guitar. Alex rolled his eyes and obliged. At least he only had two more songs to play.

Painfully, Alex finished the show.

***

Alex was the first to arrive back in his dressing room – or so he thought.

He flung open the door, fully prepared for the relief of silence and space for himself, only to be tackled with a hug and a smothering kiss from his “only one”.

“Bay-be!” Tanner squealed, kissing Alex over and over.

Alex had to stop himself from groaning.

“Tanner! Hey! What a surprise.”

“I know. That was the point.” Tanner replied, pushing Alex back so that he fell onto the couch behind him. Tanner climbed over Alex and connected his lips to Alex once again.

“Tanner the door’s not even locked.” Alex pointed out.

Tanner ignored him, and just then, the door opened forcefully, slamming against the wall behind it.

“Alex?” A head poked in and looked around.

Alex pushed Tanner off of him, feeling his cheeks flush red.

“Do you mind?” He snapped before realizing.

Oh.

Oh no.

This is bad.

Oh fuck.

This is so bad.