Unholy Confessions

(Marigold's POV)

It had been two days since I had last seen Lena or even talked to her, I guess she was still mad. But I knew I had to let it all go and make sure that we fixed our problems. Same with Zacky, same with everyone. I wanted to see them all again like we used to, one big happy family. I called Jimmy to let him know about my idea and he agreed completely. We were all going to meet up at the beach around noon and have a bonfire in the evening. I loaded up my bag with clothes, a towel and anything else that I might need for the day. I checked my phone and saw that I had a text from Jimmy, saying that he and Lena were already here to pick me up.

"We missed you buddy!" Lena squealed, hugging onto me tightly as I got in the front seat beside her. "I missed you too guys, how's it going?" She looked from me then over to Jimmy who just grinned widely as we started to drive to the beach. "Well the other day, Jimmy proposed to me!" My jaw dropped to the floor when Lena flashed me the simple diamond ring on her finger. I was so happy for them, they deserved each other. "Holy shit! I'm so happy for you guys, congratulations!" I hugged onto Lena again who wiped a tear away from her eye and laughed.

"Thanks babe. I'm glad you decided to come around." I suddenly felt a wave of guilt hit me. I actually didn't feel any better, but I just wanted to spend time with my best friends before it was too late. "Yeah, me too." I said with a light smile until Jimmy had announced that we were here. We started to unload the car when Johnny and Brian had made their way over towards us and helped carry the stuff to where everyone else was waiting for us. I couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy as we inched closer to everyone. Especially Zacky, I hadn't seen him in so long, I missed him so much.

"Marigold." I instantly ran over to Lacey who was sitting on a blanket beside Michelle. I hugged her and then leaned over to give Michelle a hug as well who looked a tad surprised by it but none the less returned the hug. "Glad to see you come, Michelle." I said, smiling. She nodded simply "No worries, Marigold." I turned back and looked over at Lena who nudged her head towards the left. I couldn't help but feel my heart drop into my stomach as I saw Zacky's gorgeous face come into view. He had dyed the sides of his hair purple and pierced his septum. In other words, he looked amazing.

I hestitated before finally walking over to him, seeing his face instantly light up once he saw me. We immediately hugged one another, looking into each others eyes while we stood there. "Hey beautiful I've missed you." He mumbled sweetly into my ear. I felt a tear run down my cheek as I smiled at him. "I've missed you too, Zack." He kept his arms wrapped around me tightly as we all sat around on the beach, telling stories and reminiscing about the old days until the sun had eventually started to give way to the night sky.

Soon after the sun had set we started a bonfire. Jimmy and Brian were roasting marshmallows while Zacky and I laid down and looked up at the stars. It felt so good to be next to him again, to feel his warm touch. I never wanted this night to end. "I love you Marigold. I've never stopped loving you. I always felt empty without you with me. I want you back." My heart started to do backflips as those words came from between his lips. But no matter how much I wanted that to happen, I knew that my decision was already final. I just hoped that Zacky would someday understand.

"I love you too Zacky, I always will." I kissed the side of his face gently, seeing the goosebumps rise on his skin. "Let me take you home?" I agreed, snugging close to him. "Just let me say goodbye ok? To Lena and everyone." Zacky nodded with a smile. "You know you don't have to ask babe, go say bye to them." I got up from the sand and headed over to where Lena and Lacey were sitting. "Hey guys, I'm gonna head on home. Zacky's gonna take me. I love you." I hugged both of them tightly, telling them that I'd call them later. I then went over to Jimmy, Michelle and Brian and then over to Matt and Johnny were I said goodbye and that I loved them all too.

Zacky and I took the long way home from the beach, talking and laughing about anything and everything until we had gotten to my parents house. "I was glad to see you babe, lets go out for lunch tomorrow ok?" I just nodded, agreeing to whatever he said. It hurt me to know that I wasn't going to keep my promises to him but I ultimately knew that this was for the best. "See you later Zacky, I love you." He kissed me softly on the lips, cupping my face in his hands. "I love you too baby."

I made my way upstairs to my room, seeing that both my mom and dad were sound asleep. I took out my pen and notebook, scribbling out a couple quick notes. One for Zacky, one for Lena and Jimmy, one for my parents, one for Johnny and Lacey, one for Brian and Michelle and one for Matt. Each had something different to say and had more explanations then others. I placed them all in a stack ontop of my dresser beside my various pictures before reaching into the bottom drawer and pulled out my old friend; a shot of Jack and my bottle of pills.

I dumped out a good amount, at least 10 pills total, before tossing them into my mouth and chasing them down with the shooter of whiskey.

"I'm sorry guys, but just know that I love you all."