Starting Over...

Just like always, my body woke me from my less than peaceful sleep hours before the first rays of the sun. For the first few minutes I just layed quietly in my bunk underneath Jessie's, trying to keep my movements slow and even as I tossed and turned so I wouldn't rattle the bedframe. Jessie was such a heavy sleeper, though, so I don't really know why I bothered.

No matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes shut, they sprang back as if my lids were made of elastic. I resorted to just laying on my back and staring up at the bottom of Jessie's bunk, dealing with the boredom for a good 15 minutes.

But when a nicotine craving started setting in, buzzing louder and louder at the back of my mind, I couldn't sit still any longer. I had to get up and move, absolutely HAD to smoke a cigarette before I went completely insane.

I kept my frustrated sigh quiet as I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bunk. A chill suddenly ran up my spine, and I wrapped my arms around myself as goosebumps rose all over my clammy skin. I had fallen asleep so quickly after my conversation with Jessie last night that I hadn't taken off my shoes or even covered myself with my sleeping bag. I guess I hadn't noticed just how cold the cement walls made the inside of the prison when the sun wasn't out to warm it.

Being careful not to bump my head, I stood up and slowly made my way toward the other side of the cell... Only to smash my knee into the double bunk's metal skeleton with a loud, echoing *BANG*

"Fuck...!" I hissed through clenched teeth as I doubled over, grasping my throbbing knee in an attempt to dull the stinging pain.

That was definitely going to leave a bruise.

I muttered a few more curse words under my breath at my clumsiness, but it was pretty dark in the cell, so it was bound to have happened. Jessie and I were on the top level, so during the day the sun cast a pretty good glow throughout the entire cell block through the tall barred windows, illuminating our small space in just the right way... Not too bright, not too dark.

At night, though, the darkness was extreme. We all had to rely on the moon taking the place of the sun through the window to light our paths... But on moonless nights like this one, the inside of the cafeteria was impossible to navigate unless you had a lighter or a flashlight.

My hand instinctively reached to my back pocket and felt for my Bic, but all my fingertips touched was denim. I groaned, remembering that I had lost it inside the Grab' N Go. The rest were in the front pocket of my backpack, which was sitting up against the wall on the other side of the cell.

I rolled my eyes and grumbled in annoyance while I felt my way around the small space, finally touching the material of our backpacks. Okay, I just had to find a flashlight and that huge pack of batteries I had brought back yesterday.

I felt around in all the side pockets of both backpacks, finally feeling the plastic cylinder I was searching for. I made sure I was unzipping my own bag by feeling for the packs of cigarettes in the front pocket, then reached inside and searched out the batteries.

Finally, after I blindly popped two batteries into the flashlight and clicked the 'On' button, I could see.

The concrete walls of the cell looked even dingier in the glow of the flashlight, but that was something that I had stopped caring about a while ago. As long as no walkers were around to try and take a bite out of me while I slept, I was good.

I set the flashlight in the corner, balancing it so the light was pointed up toward the ceiling. My shirt and shorts were stiff from the rain and mud the day before, and I made a face at the feel of them scratching against my skin as I searched through my backpack for a change of clothes.

All I had was my pair of dark skinny jeans, which weren't as dirty as my shorts, but still pretty dirty. As I held them up in the light, I could see all the blood and grass stains in the fabric, but they would obviously have to do. I had a better selection of shirts, so I sifted through them, settling on a white and gray baseball shirt.

I quickly swapped clothing, feeling a little surprised at how snug my jeans still were. Usually, after enough traveling, the fabric stretched out and they got kind of baggy.

I pulled on my black leather jacket, sighing as I felt some relief from the chilly air. Next, I strapped my pistol holsters to my hips, and clasped my knife and sheath around my thigh, over my jeans. I left my two larger guns leaning against the wall, I only needed them if I was leaving the lot, or if intruders showed up to the prison.

As I knelt down in front of my backpack and unzipped the front pocket full of cigarettes, something underneath the bunk bed caught my eye. A faded green backpack... Tina's backpack. For some reason, my heartbeat sped up.

After I snatched a pack of Marlboro Reds, I scooted over in front of the bottom bunk and slowly dragged Tina's backpack out in front of me. I cringed at the loud sound the zipper made in the sleepy silence of the cell, but of course Jessie didn't budge.

For some reason it felt a little wrong, sitting there in the glow of the flashlight, looking through Tina's things... but I couldn't help it.

Suddenly, my fingers bumped against something that felt like it was made out of leather amongst all the clothing and other items. I grasped it and pulled it from the backpack.

It was Tina's journal... The one she had been keeping ever since we had picked her up that very first day of utter hell in the grocery store parking lot. My fingers grazed against the leather bound cover, and I chewed my bottom lip as I debated flipping through the pages.

No... We were supposed to bury this journal today in Tina's honor... I couldn't read it. What if there were things she wrote down that I didn't need to know?

We had all gone this long without knowing what was written in that journal, and that's how it needed to stay.

... Or maybe I could just skim the first few pages.

xxx

xxx

Of course, no one else was up yet, so I stayed quiet as I slinked down the stairwell and across the cafeteria, finally making my way outside to the lot. The sky was still dark, it was probably only about 4:30 or 5:00. I sighed as I pulled my cigarettes and lighter out of my pocket, knowing I had a while to wait before anyone else would be up.

I pointed my flashlight in my path as I turned to the right and made my way toward the vehicle bay. I hadn't been up on the roof since the walkers invaded the prison, and I knew it would be the perfect place to read Tina's journal.

Low, menacing growls echoed from out beyond the fence, making me feel like I was in the middle of a horror movie... But that was something I was used to by now.

When I reached the rusty wrungs of the fire escape ladder, I bit the plastic of the flashlight between my teeth, and hopped up with my arms outstretched.

Goosebumps rose over my skin as the cool morning air tickled my exposed midriff, making the tingly numbness of the fresh scar above my navel more apparent... The strange sensation triggered thoughts of the first day I had arrived at the prison with my group, the first day I'd seen Daryl... I remembered how I was certain he was going to kill me, and I thought he was a total redneck asshole... But now, I just really wasn't sure how I felt about him or what we actually were. Friends? Just fellow survivors, now members of the same group?

I remembered how he, T-Dog and Glenn had held my group at gun point, giving us all some heated interrogation. Back then, I was convinced that they were just no good, blood thirsty scum bags just out for our supplies.

But now, I understood why they had acted that way. Now that we were all joined together, I knew I would do the same thing to another strange group that got too close to the prison like we had.

My abdominal muscles clenched as I yanked myself up, my legs dangling to help gain leverage. A small grunt escaped my lips, muffled by the flashlight between my teeth, and soon enough I was quickly climbing hand over hand up the ladder.

Finally, I reached the top. My boots scuffed the rough surface of the concrete roof as I hoisted myself up, rubbing my palms against my jeans to rid them of the flakes of rust. The glow of the flashlight bobbed around wildly while I whipped it from between my teeth and pinned it under my arm, lighting a cigarette in one quick motion.

Exhaling the hazy smoke slowly, I slacked my arm and grasped the flashlight at my side. A cool breeze whispered by, combing through my long, tangled hair. The feeling of the chill against my neck sent quaking shivers up my spine and through my ribcage, and I made a face at the unpleasant feeling.

I grew up in Indiana, and we had some pretty brutal winters. You'd think I'd be used to a little nip in the air, but truthfully, I had always been a baby about cold weather.

My fingertips instinctively reached for the zipper on my jacket, sealing it about half way up. It gave me a little relief, but I could still feel my body's core trembling.

My footsteps silently trailed to the edge of the roof where I could spy on the living dead from a safe distance. There was a handful here and a cluster there, weaving and intertwining, twitching and limping about in their endless search for blood.

They were all blanketed in a thin layer of early morning fog, adding to the evil, eerie vibe they already intensely radiated. I felt my eyes glaze over as I stared out into the field, absent mindedly burning through a whole cigarette.

"Damn it." I cursed to myself, watching the tall stack of ash fall away into the breeze. "Wasted another one..."

That was a bad habit of mine. Lighting a cigarette, taking one or two puffs, then loosing my thoughts or start talking to much, and the next thing I know, all I've got is a stub.

The filter sailed over the edge of the roof at the flick of my finger, and I lost sight of it as I pulled out a fresh cigarette and lit it up.

I got bored of watching the walkers stumble around pretty quickly, and suddenly remembered what I had come up here to do besides smoke. I chewed at the inside of my lip as my fingers found the outline of journal in the pocket of my jacket.

Clamping my cigarette between my lips, I slowly pulled the leather bound journal from my pocket, holding it in one hand while I aimed the flashlight at the scuffed up cover.

There were no words or designs, just scratches and water stains in the leather. For a brief moment, I had some second thoughts... But my curiosity was just too strong.

I puffed on my cigarette as my legs carried me toward the fourth floor extension, and I turned to press my back against the wall as I got close to it. My body slid downward until I was seated in a comfortable position underneath one of the cracked windows, the journal sitting in my lap and waiting to be cracked open.

I tapped my fingertips against the edge of the cover and along the spine before slowly pulling the pages apart. I picked a random entry in the beginning of the book and skimmed over the loopy handwriting with my eyes, aided by the flashlight.

xxxxxx

January 15th, 2010

Today was a tough one. We all searched this little town high and low, but there's barely anything salvageable for firewood.

It's getting really cold in Kentucky, and we're all still stuck in this old bank. We've been here for two weeks now, according to my tallies, and it's getting really hard to find food... We haven't been able to find any gas for Zach's car, either... We're all stranded here, and those horrible things are outside... I can hear them.

We have fire for now. That's good at least... Everyone is laughing and joking, Danny and Zach are talking about trucks... I envy my group, how they can be so care free when death is knocking at the door... Literally.

I wish I could be like them and just forget about the world, but I can't. I'm scared all the time... Scared of how and when it will eventually happen...

It's time for dinner, the last of our canned carrots. I'll write later.

xxxxxx

I remembered those two weeks very clearly, and it was strange to read about it from someone else's perspective.

It made me feel sad to see how scared Tina felt, and it almost made me angry... She was always so shy and quiet. Why didn't she just come to me, or Jessie, if she needed to talk? We may have acted like we were too tough for the world, but we were all terrified, just like she was...

I let out a sad sigh. There was nothing I could do to comfort her now, and I wished I would have made more of an effort to reach out to her on a deeper level while she was still here.

As I scanned Tina's handwriting and took drags off the cigarette between my trembling finger tips, the memories of that night in the bank played over in my head like a movie.

xxxxxx

Five months earlier...

You never really know just how bitterly cold Winter is until you try to survive in it. Food was scarce, and it was hard to keep water from freezing into ice. During our two weeks of hiding out here, I think we scrounged up just about every last splinter of firewood we could possibly find around this little town, somewhere in the middle of Kentucky.

Now, stuck inside this old Wells Fargo on the corner of town beside the torn down traffic light, our group of five was steadily running out of ways to keep warm. All the paper products scattered around the bank had been used to fuel our fires for a few days, and now we were moving onto the money that had been left behind in the gigantic safe. It wouldn't last long, though.

There were stacks and stacks of bills of all different types, from $1's to $100's. It felt so strange to just toss it into the flames by the handful, watching the green material catch fire and the past Presidents' faces melt away. It honestly was sort of funny.

Money was the only thing anyone had ever really worried about before all this zombie shit. My tips from waitressing in at Sophia's Cafe had been what fueled my 'normal' life.

Now, it was just paper. No use for it except what we were doing right then: Fueling the fire.

"Here goes a new truck." Danny muttered from across the fire as he littered a handful of $100's into the orange glow.

There was a quiet pause as each of our faces lit up from the growing flames. The warmth did a good job of granting us a small glimmer of comfort. The smoldering embers of the fire crackled and snapped loudly, sort of drowning out the muffled moans of the undead creeping in from outside.

"I'll throw in some tires for that bad boy," Zach piped up, from his seat on top of a file cabinet after a second as he flicked his own stack of bills, letting the flames engulf them, "38's."

Danny grinned and raised a blonde eyebrow at my brother, gnawing on a homemade toothpick he had widdled away with his machete a few hours ago.

"All right," He replied back, his voice sounding a little amused as he grabbed more money, "New tires need some badass rims."

The flame was growing brighter and fiercer as they each tossed more money in, building the imaginary truck of their dreams. The girls and I just sat back and watched, shaking our heads and giggling at the only two men in our group.

"Amazing." Jessie muttered with a smirk as she folded her arms over her chest.

"What?" Tina asked in her tiny, mousy voice. She was tucked underneath a desk, scribbling something in her journal.

"Zach and Danny." Jessie replied, "Even while we're all huddled in here about to literally freeze our asses off, they're debating Ford and Chevy..." She paused and shot me a look, "When we all know Dodge takes the cake."

I let out a laugh from my position, seated on the floor with my knees hugged to my chest.

"Well, Jess, if you feel so strongly about the issue, why don't you just politely ask if you can join in on Gorilla Time?"

My blonde best friend rolled her eyes and made a face, only making me laugh a little harder. The sound of my laughter eventually reeled Jessie into her own giggles. Tina vaguely glanced up at the two of us and grinned meekly before burying her nose in her journal again.

That girl was always writing on those pages. Sometimes, I wondered what she wrote about...

"Man, I can't wait to eat anymore." Danny suddenly stood up, making a move for our severely dwindling food stash, "Got five cans of carrots left... Lucky."

Zach sighed as Danny began severing the tops of the cans with his machete. The shrill, metallic squeal of the two metals repeatedly scraping together sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine.

"You and I should go on a run to find some sort of food in the morning, Danny." My brother suggested as he weakly ran a hand through his dark, wild hair, "Maybe we could even try to hunt. There might be some squirrels around in the park down the street," He paused to let out another sigh, grasping the can of carrots Danny was holding out to him, "I don't know... We just can't let the girls go hungry."

I felt a pang of warmth jolt through me, a response to my brother's compassion for the group, especially us girls. He had always been that way, even before the apocalypse. It was sweet, but sometimes it got under my skin a little.

"I could go." I volunteered hopefully, knowing all too well I would get shot down.

Danny passed me a can of carrots, and his fingers lingered on mine for a second. A jolt surged through my body, making my stomach flip... And not exactly in a good way. I glanced up into his face, just in time to catch a flirtatious look gleaming off his deep sea blue eyes. I tried to ignore it as best I could... Danny had been making passes at me for weeks now, no matter how many times I shot him down and assured him it would never happen.

"No." Zach snapped at my suggestion, just like I thought he would. He glared at me sternly, his full, dark eyebrows knitting together, "You know damn well its not safe out there."

"I can handle myself around walkers, Zach." I retorted in a grumble, starting to spear carrots onto my plastic fork.

"It's not the walkers I'm worried about." My brother said, and I knew he was talking about people, other survivors.

"Just because we saw a couple guys on the road doesn't mean-" I started to protest, but Zach cut me off.

"The answer's no, Kayla." He said, giving me a look as if to say the conversation was over.

I glanced around the group. Everyone else had their eyes buried in their cans of carrots, seeming like they were trying not to listen to Zach and I. Obviously they could hear us, though.

I let out a huff, taking a bite of my carrots and chewing slowly. When the hell was Zach going to stop being so God damn over protective?

xxxxxx

*Present*

Never. That's when.

I sighed as I sparked my third cigarette, remembering the early times of our journey. We were still working out our strategies, and still learning about the geeks at that point... As if we weren't already stressed and strung out enough, Winter almost killed us. But we made it, and here we are... Well, all except for one of us.

The pages made a crinkling sound as I flipped through, stopping at a random entry and scanning the words.

xxxxxx

May 26th, 2010

Maybe things are starting to look up. We were on the road all day today and only saw three walkers. We didn't even have to kill them, just drove right on by.

Maybe those things are starting to die off... The thought of that makes me so happy I could scream. But, that's just wishful thinking, and I know I'm probably wrong.

Kayla, Jessie and I played "I spy" and the cloud game for what seems like hours while we were in the car. It was really fun... Almost like we were kids again.

Now we're stopping to fuel up and scavenge for some tools, and oil for the Cherokee... I'll write later.

xxxxxx

I smiled as I finished reading the words. I remembered that day, too... And it really was a good one.

We didn't run that day, or hide, or fear for our lives. By some stroke of luck, everywhere we had stopped; whether it was a neighborhood or an old farm, there had been little to no geeks. That definitely took a huge load of stress off our shoulders, knowing we could take our time and really search for valuable supplies.

I turned the page and read the next entry...

xxxxxx

May 27th, 2010

Why does everything have to be so fucking up and down? Yesterday was perfect, beautiful and easy...

Today, I thought we were all going to be eaten alive. Atlanta was supposed to be the safest place in Georgia... But I guess that was months ago. The streets are overrun now... They got us in the middle of the city, surrounded us... Chased us here, to this dark warehouse. They're still outside.. They know we're in here.

It's been five hours, and we're still trapped.

This is all so terrible... Everyone is silent, but those things out there are screaming... I can't take this. We're going to die here, and it seems like everyone is just accepting that!

But I guess if this is what life has turned out to be... Then I want out.

xxxxxx

My heart sank as my eyes trailed over the last few words... That memory was not a pleasant one. I tried as hard as I could to block the images out, but they just flowed freely into my brain as if I was living that day all over again.

xxxxxx

Two months earlier...

"Go, go, go! We're almost there, I can see the gate!"

Zach's frantic but steady shouts rang out from behind me, followed by rapid gunfire. Jessie and Tina were in front of me, leading the way, and Danny was at my side as all five of us dashed through the decrepit streets of Atlanta, with the biggest, hungriest, scariest herd I'd ever seen hot on our heels.... So, how'd we get to that point?

Well, a few weeks earlier, we had heard over a brief, leaked radio message that the city was the safest place to be. There were quarantine zones and medic tents... Places to get food and supplies, maybe even weapons.

So we had set our sights out for the tall sky scrapers, finally making our way there after what seemed like a life time. But, I guess we should have taken the highway, backed up for miles with rusting, abandoned vehicles as a clue to what we were about to find.

At first, Atlanta seemed like every other place we had passed through; Barren, eerie, and littered with garbage, overturned vehicles and broken glass.

It had been clear that there was a quarantine zone at one time... I could see the white tents all lined up in the middle of the city, when we were hopping from rooftop to rooftop, trying to avoid too much "traffic" below.

But by the time our little group had arrived, any trace of hope had long since died off. Army tanks sat in the streets, abandoned and motionless. Hundreds of bodies were wrapped in creepy, bloodstained tarps laid in the streets, piled in the beds of abandoned army trucks, and flies swarmed all over... The buzzing was almost deafening, but the smell of decay was way worse.

It was obvious this place had been a war zone... Enormous holes were blown into the sides of the buildings, looking charred from flames... no doubt from military missiles or rocket launchers...

Even as we took a shortcut through a mamed office building, I could see bullet holes lining the walls in an even trail, most likely the tracks of a machine gun. Wires and insulation were ripped from the walls and ceiling, papers covered the floor, and office furniture was over turned and barricading all the doors. Luckily, the first floor windows were smashed out, so the five of us easily crawled in and out. Who needed doors?

"Stay together." Zach had whispered to us as he stealthily guided us through the empty streets.

... At least we thought they were empty.

Just around the corner from where we were, surrounding an old, sunbleached school bus were about thirty walkers, give or take. At first, they just stood there... Swaying and wobbling in place.

Zach had been quick to halt us, holding his hand up and stopping himself short. We all did the same behind him, slightly bumping into one another. Each of us held completely still, as if we were wax figurines, staring wide eyed at the crowd before us. Amazingly, they hadn't noticed us yet.

"Turn around," Zach hissed over his shoulder, and the fear in his dark eyes sent chills down my spine, "They don't see us, hurry, go...!"

As quickly and quietly as we could, we all shuffled our feet and turned around, retracing our steps through the maze of broken down cars and trucks. With Jessie leading the way and Zach watching our backs, we drifted to the right, toward a long alley way...

"No good," Jessie whispered urgently, freezing in place. "Geeks...!"

I craned my neck and peered over her shoulder, gulping as the shadowy figures crowding the alley caught my eye.

So, we veered left, only making it about five feet before corpses all around us began crawling out of cars and emerging from the empty stores and buildings lining the streets. We had been spotted, and the walker's were starting to box us in from all directions.

"RUN!!!" Zach roared. Obviously trying to keep quiet had gone out the window.

There was a break in the crowd, but it was closing quickly, so the five of us ducked through it. The walkers hissed and squealed as they watched us, hobbling into a steady jog as the tailed us.

I let out a shriek as a decomposed arm jutted out from the mob, twisting it's fingers around the collar of my t-shirt. Luckily, Jessie was right by my side, rushing to my aide with her metal baseball bat.

All in the blink of an eye, she lifted the weapon above her head, crying out as she swung it down with all her might. The boney arm was crushed under the blow, snapping in half and setting me free.

"C'mon!" Jessie shouted at me above the roar of the herd's thundering footsteps as they rushed toward us.

I wasted no time in darting off after her... And now here we were, running for our lives through the streets of Atlanta. We frantically searched for a way out, or a hiding spot. Anywhere.

But it seemed everywhere our group turned, there was a dead end. More and more walkers were trickling out of every nook and cranny, adding themselves into the stockpile like a giant, decomposing snowball.

"What the fuck are we gonna do?!" Danny shouted from beside me as he slung his machete and sliced off the head of a geek who had gotten too close.

"They're gonna kill us!!" Tina cried out, sounding horrified. She clutched her shot gun in her hands with a death grip, but never fired a round. "We're gonna die!!"

"Tina, that is NOT helping right now!!" I screamed at her over my shoulder as we all rounded a corner, and that's when the construction sight came into view, surrounded by a tall fence.

Zach shouted from behind us to keep going and fired off rounds into the crowd of undead, taking a few down but not even making a dent in their sheer mass.

Eventually, the sound of my heartbeat crashing in my ears drowned out everything else. By the time we finally reached the fence, my legs felt like jello from pounding the pavement so hard... It was really a struggle to scale that fence. But, I made it happen to keep my life... Just barely.

The chain links rattled as Zach, Jessie, Danny, Tina and I scrambled up and over the top. Chills of terror ran down my spine as I felt fingers grasping at the bottom of my boots, but I was just out of their reach.

When we were all safely on the ground, panting like a pack of sled dogs that just ran a marathon, Zach looked back and forth between our faces.

"Is everyone okay, no one was bit?" He asked breathlessly, his body hunched over and his hands propped on his knees.

"I... I..." I gasped as my left hand clutched my chest and the right braced itself on my hip, "... Smoke... Too much.."

"Yea, well we all keep tryin' to tell ya to quit." Danny responded as he ran a hand through his grungy, shoulder length blonde hair. Then, he turned to the fence, staring at the rotted faces snarling and snapping at us, "That fence isn't gonna hold for long."

He was right. More and more geeks were straggling out from the depths of the city, drawn to the noise the pack that had chased us down was making. The fence leaned and groaned with every extra body, causing Tina to whimper behind me.

"He's right," Jessie agreed, staring in horror at the long, boney arms reaching for us through the chain lengths, "They're gonna bulldoze that thing down any second."

"What are we gonna do...?!" Tina wailed out tearfully, and I did my best to comfort her by putting my hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

"Just calm down, Tina, okay?" Zach huffed, trying to ignore the threat behind the fence as he searched the lot for shelter. His eyes brightened as he spotted a large, blue building with no windows, and steel draw doors. "There!"

xxxxxx

*Present*

Another cigarette gone. Now the sun was starting to rise, melting away the fog and making the creepy walkers more visible. I stared blankly at the pages of Tina's journal, chewing my bottom lip and feeling tears sting my eyes.

I closed the journal and set it by my side, pulling my knees into my chest and wrapping my arms around them. My throat burned as I struggled to hold back the sobs, but as the hot tears trickled down my cheeks and dripped from my chin, my body just caved.

It felt like all the emotions I had in my body were flooding out with the tears and sobs... Everything was just so overwhelming. All the shit my group and I had been through, all the close calls...

And now as soon as we find a safe place... Tina's gone. Gone forever.

I buried my face in my knees, trying to calm the quakes of sadness and anger radiating through my body.

"Hey."

A soft, gruff voice coming from my left spoke out and startled me a little bit. Before I even looked up, I knew who it was. Basked in the orange sherbet glow of the early morning sunrise, Daryl stood a few feet away, staring down at me with an expression that I would describe as concerned. But with Daryl, you could never be sure what he was feeling.

"D-Daryl..." I muttered, quickly wiping away what tears I could.

"You all right?" He asked me with a slight raise of an eyebrow. His crossbow was strapped across his back, but he slung it over his shoulder so he could slide down the concrete wall into a seated position next to me.

He kept his knees bent, propping the bow between them.

"Yea, I'm fine," I fibbed as I glanced over at the blue eyed redneck, forcing a smile, "Why wouldn't I be?"

He gave me a look as I tried to casually wipe away what tears were left on my cheeks.

"I already seen ya cryin'." He informed me, his eyes and voice softer than normal. "Why're ya tryin' ta hide it?"

I just stared at him for a moment, before letting out a defeated sigh and drooping my shoulders. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes from next to me and offered Daryl the last one, along with the lighter.

"I guess it was pretty obvious..." I mumbled as he reached out and plucked the cigarette from the crumpled cardboard pack.

He paused to flick the lighter, and puff the cigarette before looking back at me and asking, "So...? What's 'a matter?"

"Is it stupid that this bullshit world still gets to me?" I whispered, taking my eyes off of Daryl and setting them on the field of undead.

For a second, he didn't say anything. I chewed on my bottom lip and fought off the tears that threatened to surface. Clouds of hazy smoke whizzed by my head and dissolved into thin air as Daryl exhaled, then finally spoke again.

"Naw..." He mumbled from next to me, "Death've a friend ain't ever easy ta deal with."

I nodded my head slowly, feeling his gaze cast and over me, but I was too nervous to look at him for some reason... Why was I was so nervous?

"Pointless, though." Daryl suddenly added in, finally causing me to turn my puffy, red eyes toward him, "Lettin' this world get to ya, I mean. You know as well as I do that everything's different. Death happens... Ya mourn, maybe smash some shit with yer fists, then life goes on."

A weak smile found its way to my lips, and I lightly shook my head at Daryl's words.

"Well, I don't know if I really wanna 'smash shit'..." I replied as I gathered all of my hair and pulled it over one shoulder.

"Hey, ya never know..." Daryl muttered casually as he shrugged, "Might make ya feel better."

I found my cheeks warming into a rosey blush as Daryl flashed me a tiny smile, before clamping his lips around the filter of his cigarette and taking a long drag. As I watched his blue eyes narrow a bit at the smoke burning the back of his throat, I had to avert my gaze. For some reason, just sitting next to him in the soft early morning glow, my stomach was flipping and twisting up into knots.

Maybe my emotions were just flip flopping all over the place... That had to be it.

"Is that what you do?" I asked quietly, raising my eyebrow at him.

Daryl shrugged his shoulders again before grunting, "Sometimes."

I smirked a little and rolled my heterochromial eyes.

"Doesn't surprise me." I replied, "I'd rather do some target practice if I'm gonna go the violent route. There's just no where to do that."

"Prob'ly is somewhere." Daryl said as he took the last puff off his cigarette, then stubbed out the cherried ember on the filter. "Just gotta be patient."

Smoke leaked out from his lips in hazy puffs as he talked, simultaneously standing up and hoisting his crossbow over his shoulder.

"So, ya comin' back down to the lot with me, or do ya wanna stay up here an' cry some more?" He asked me, staring at me with those crystal blue eyes. "Either one's fine with me."

Letting out a sigh, I pushed myself up off the cement roof, brushing the seat of my jeans off. I made sure I had the journal tucked safely in my pocket, then followed Daryl to the fire escape ladder.

He let me go first, climbing down shortly after me.

Not even two seconds after each of our shoes hit the pavement, I heard a shout calling toward us.

"Hey! Kayla, Daryl!"

I looked over my shoulder, and my stomach dropped. Zach was storming across the lot toward Daryl and I, and even from the distance we were at, I could see the fiery anger burning in his eyes.

xxx

To be continued...

xxx