The Elevator

Another hour was winding down as Alex and Josie sat at opposite ends of the elevator. Neither one of them had said a word to each other, and Alex was starting to become restless. He got out the weed he bought earlier and started the process of rolling a joint.

“What are you doing?” she asked, annoyed.

“I’m practicing.” he said.

“Well can you not?” she asked, “It’s stinking the whole place up.”

He laughed, “You’re such a prude.”

“Just because I don’t like the smell of weed doesn’t make me a prude.” she said, “Just put it away.”

“Have you smoked before?” he asked.

Josie had never been a part of that scene, so she had never been exposed to it. Like any person, she was curious, but she never had the desire to try it.

“No,” she said, “I like to be in control of my body.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” he laughed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“For christ sake, look at what you’re wearing.” he said.

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” she asked.

Josie had on a suit with a gray jacket, white button up shirt, and matching gray pants. She believed you had to dress for success. Her style happened to be more conservative.

“You look like you just got back from a power brunch.” he said, “And not in a good way.”

She shrugged and adjusted her jacket, “I like brunch.”

“You’re a walking corporate monkey.” he said.

“There is nothing wrong with being corporate.” she said.

“Except the fact that no one wants to fuck it.” he said.

Josie hadn’t had a boyfriend in a long time. It was mostly due to her never ending schedule, but also because men never met her high standards. She usually kicked them to the curb the moment she found something she didn’t like.

“I don’t wanna be fucked.” she said.

“Everyone wants to be fucked.” he said, “It’s human nature.”

“I mean, I don’t just wanna have sex.” she said, “I’m looking for a serious, long term commitment.”

“I wanna puke right now,” he said, “How old are you?”

“21.” she said.

“Wow, okay,” he laughed, “Let me guess. You’ve planned your entire wedding on pinterest and you haven’t had a boyfriend since high school.”

Josie was embarrassed. She always wanted a great relationship, but never seemed to find one. She didn’t know what she was doing wrong. She was a young, successful, career-driven woman.

“I like to plan ahead,” she said.

“But, really, when’s the last time you got laid?” he asked.

“That’s none of your business.” she said.

“I’m telling you, nobody wants to fuck a girl in a suit,” he said, “It’s just not sexy.”

“Yes, because my number one goal in life is to please men.” she said sarcastically, “I like my clothes. They’re functional and sophisticated.”

He laughed, “Have fun with your ten cats.”

“There is nothing wrong with me,” she said, raising her voice, “You’re just a judgemental asshole.”

“Wow, you really need to get laid.” he said, “Or invest in a vibrator.”

“Is that all you talk about, sex?” she asked.

“Is there anything else to talk about?” he asked.

“I don’t know, politics, education, weather, the economy.” she said, “You don’t have to talk about sex all the time, it’s disgusting.”

“Whatever, intern.” he said.

“For the fifth time,” she said, “My name is Josie. Why are you so mean?”

“I’m not mean,” he said, “I tell it like it is.”

“That’s what mean people say.” she said, “Stop making excuses for being a jerk. All you do is put people down to make yourself feel better.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” he said.

“Yeah? Well you seem to think you know a lot about me.” she said, “So let me give it a try. Oh, look! I’m Alex Gaskarth. I'm a rich snob who treats people like crap because I'm secretly insecure. I throw money away on drugs, and fuck anyone with a pulse."

“Hey, I didn’t want to fuck you when we met." he said.

"Um, I quote, 'They didn't tell me you'd be so sexy.'" she said, “Those were seriously the first words you said to me.”

"Not fair, I was drunk." he said, "But now that I'm sobering up, I don't know what I saw in you."

"So you didn’t think I was sexy?" she asked, “How will I survive?”

"Maybe with a little more makeup,” he said, ”And a lot less clothes."

"Girls can be sexy without taking their clothes off, you know." she said, “Or do you just have no idea how to talk to women with respect?”

He didn’t respond to her, he simply pulled a flask out of his backpack and took a couple sips from it. He tried to hand it to Josie, who was rolling her eyes at him. He figured that she needed to relax.

"No way," she said, "That's the last thing I need right now."

"It'll calm you down," he said, "It’s obvious we're going to be stuck here for a while, so we might as well have a good time."

"I don't drink." she said.

“Now that explains why you’re so uptight.” he said, “Sometimes, you just need a drink.”

Alex's phone beeped,signaling that it had 5% of battery life left. He groaned, putting the phone back in his pocket. He took another gulp from his flask and laid his head back against the wall. Josie knew that Alex’s phone dying was a horrible sign. Their chances of getting out of there in time for the party were slowly drifting away, and there was nothing they could do about it. All they could do was wait.

"Fuck it," she said, reaching over and grabbing the flash from Alex.

They were going to be here for awhile.