A Passion Crime to Take What's Mine

Ashley's P.O.V:
I was sat in the living area with the rest of the guys, although I wasn't really listening to what they were saying; I was more in thought. It pains me to think that I can't sleep with my fiancée... wait, no, I can't call him that now... I don't know what I can call us anymore. Are we together? Are we over? I just don't have a clue. We never officially ended it, but we can't really talk to each other, nor are we staying by each other, so what does that count us as? All I know is that I love him, and he won't leave my head, all I can think about is how much I wish we could be back to what we were just a few days ago, when it was fine for us to love each other, when the biggest issue was what we were going to do that day. But now it's so awkward to even talk to him now, it is horrible.
“Ash, are you okay?” Jinxx asked, causing Jake to grunt. I don't know why Jake to hates me so much right now, I mean, I thought he seemed annoyed with me this morning but I thought that feeling may pass after time, yet it doesn't seem to have. If anything, he seems even more annoyed with me than he did this morning because now he gets agitated whenever anyone else talks to me too. It's almost as if he wants me to suffer even more than I already am for losing the man I love for a lie.
“Not really, I miss Andy, but I don't know what I can do about that...”
“Maybe you shouldn't have cheated on him then!” Jake snapped, causing a stab of pain to shoot through me; did he really believe I would cheat on him when I love him so dearly?
“I didn't.”
“Sure, so why did Josh show up at your wedding?”
“how the fuck should I know? I don't know what the hell was going through that dude's mind!”
“Look, Jake, Ashley is right, I believe him. He wouldn't do a thing to hurt Andy, you saw the way he was hurting when Andy ran from the wedding, so why would you think he would have done something to bring that on, knowing full well he would lose Andy” CC objected, flashing a smile at me, to which Jake merely grunts thoughtfully. I just hope he will soon understand that I wasn't lying, and that I do in fact miss and love Andy.
Jake got up from his spot on the sofa and walked to the sleeping area to rest for a while. Although we got to Europe today, we have a mere few free hours before we have to perform. Normally, I would be super stoked on going out on stage and performing, but, for the first time, I am actually partly wishing I didn't have to go out there tonight. But, by the same token, I wanted to go out and see if the pressure of performing would be beneficial to the relationship between Andy and me. Who knows, maybe it would cause us to start talking properly, I mean, the fans still think we are together. They don't know what happened at the wedding. They are unaware of the complications right now, so they would be expecting us to be standing side by side, holding hands and being sweet to each other. Maybe that push of pressure would force us to talk and sort everything out, but then maybe it would make everything a whole lot worse. You just can't be sure.
Checking the time, I get up from my seat and grabbed a pen and one of my notebooks. Scribbling my feelings and thoughts down into it, I felt a hand touch my shoulder, Jinxx.
“I believe you, so does Sammi, we don't think you would have done something like that because we know just how much you love Andy. He loves you too,” a tear rolled down my cheek as his soft words entered my ears. People believe me.
“I... I love him, Jinxx, so much. But I don't think he feels the same way about me, I mean, we hardly even talk at the moment. I don't know what to do. I need to apologise, but for what? I didn't cheat, Jinxx, but no one believes me, I need him to believe me. I've messed it all up badly this time though, he won't ever be able to trust me again, will he?” I cry, shaking with sobs.
“Of course he will trust you, just it is a big thing to get over, okay? You two will start talking again, I promise,” he said, patted me on the shoulder then walking off, leaving me to think about what he said. Could it be true, could we ever start talking again? We spoke a bit earlier, although it was awkward, we spoke, so maybe he is right. I need to stop panicking. But how the hell you stop panicking when the love of you life ran from your wedding because some idiot ruined it for you? I couldn't help but feel helpless, and for that I am ashamed. I need to be thankful for what I do have, and do my best to get Andy back.
Packing away my notebook, I leave to get my make-up for the show. As I walk past Andy's bunk, I glance up to him, mindlessly staring at him for a few seconds, seeing how he slept with his pillow next to him, hugging it, he had never done that before, and I started to wonder why he was doing that now. Oh, how I would wish to be the one he was snuggled up to instead of his pillow. Forcing myself to carry on, I tore my gaze from his innocence, and traipsing towards the back of the bus I could here Andy usher one word, 'Ashy'. A slim smile gripped my face, as my heart did a flip in my aching chest, Maybe he doesn't hate me, maybe Jinxx could be right.
I tried not to think about it as I put on my make-up. Somehow I still manage to take ages, although I don't have very much to do, however, this time I kept getting distracted by my thoughts, and then I would have to start again because I had messed it up.
“Hey, Ash, are... are you done using the bathroom?” Andy asked timidly from outside, and I could feel the tension in his voice.
“Err... yeah, let me just finish up,” I stutter, picking up my make-up and unlocking the door. For an awkward moment we just stood in the doorway looking at each other, before we finally broke.
“Err...”Andy said, awkwardly, biting his lip and shifting his gaze to the floor.
“Err, yeah... sorry, I'll... I'll go to the rest of the guys now...” I managed to say, dropping my gaze and regretfully walking away from Andy to see the rest of the guys. Tonight is going to be tough if every time I talk to Andy I forget how to speak.
Finally we were all ready for the show so we started to walk up to the venue, and yet again the guys pushed Andy and I next to each other. Ugh, I swear they are trying to make it as awkward as they can for us. As we walked, my hand brushed against Andy's and my stomach twisted into a knot of worry and anxiety as I thought about how Andy may react. Instead of my worries coming true, he left our hands in contact for a moment before pulling away, and glancing down to the floor again with thought filled eyes. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
It wasn't long after we arrived at the venue when we ran onto the stage, ready to perform our act.
“GOOD EVENING LONDON!” Andy screams in his lusciously deep voice, ugh, I need to stop that; I can't think about how much I love Andy anymore. “I hope you're ready for a good night, because here is Knives and Pens!” We instantly started to play the song, although it wasn't supposed to be first on the set list. The second I started playing bass I felt my concerns melt away, thank god music is still a release for me! I couldn't think about any of the bad things or concerns in my life, instead I just melt away into the music.
Doing my thing, we were about six songs through, and suddenly Andy's voice cut out. My heart began to pound in my chest because normally when that happens it means he has injured himself, and I don't want him being hurt. I dart my eyes across the stage and all places from which Andy could have fallen from or hurt himself, but all I could see was Jake doing the same thing. Our eyes crossed, catching each other's gaze, and I guess he must have finally seen the worry in my eyes because he smiled at me softly, telling me that he doesn't hate me anymore. Relief struck through me for that, although I still couldn't stop panicking about Andy, but we all seemed to be on the same page at the moment. Finish the song and then find out what we have to do from there. I closed my eyes, pushing back the overwrought tears as I carried on playing the song from memory. A light pressure pushed onto my chest and I could feel someone's warm breath on my face. Opening my eyes, I could see it was Andy. What the hell was he doing? Surely he wasn't going to kiss me or anything on stage?! I looked back at him and I could see he no longer had his microphone. Oh, that's what he is doing. His microphone stopped working and now he has to share mine because we have the only microphones that link in properly. As we finished the song, Shadows Die, the crowd had stopped singing and started chanting 'kiss, kiss, kiss' to us, but we quickly shook it off and started the next song, Days Are Numbered. We have over half the set left and Andy needs to share my microphone, this can only be interesting.
At the end of one of the songs I walked side-stage quickly, removing my black tank top and putting my bass back on, what? It gets bloody hot on stage, and I never really wear my top. There was a large amount of screaming and cheering when I strolled back on stage, resuming my place by Andy so he could sing. I could see a faint blush working its onto his cheeks, and a soft smile pricking at his lips.
“You fucking faggots, you should just shut the fuck up and let us listen to a real band. Go fucking die!” this kid called from the crowd, causing Andy to tense up for a second before grabbing my headset microphone and screaming into it,
“Look, I don't give a shit what you want to call me, nor do I care of what you think, but right now I am fucking ready to take on the world because my life isn't as pretty and easy as you may assume, so if you see yourself as a tough man for taking me on, well can I ask you what the fuck is the tough part of shouting abuse at a man who is already doubting himself, well you can go shut the fuck up and leave right now, because you are in no position to tell anyone that they should and should not do, let alone tell them to go and fucking kill themselves! You, motherfucker, are not as fucking tough as you like to think, and seeing as its taken you this far through our act for you to get up the confidence to say that, well, I think that just proves my fucking point!” he turned to me, eyes full of sorrow, then took a deep breath, pulled my microphone to his face one more time, and calmly spoke into it “So whoever actually wants to have a good night, let's put that behind us... this is Nobody's Hero!” he allowed me to put the microphone back towards my face as we started the song. He smiled shyly before leaning in, resting his hand on my chest once again as he started to sing. I couldn't stop my heart pounding as it flipped in my chest every time he touched me; he just gave my such a rush.
When we finished the set, Andy thanked the crowd for coming out and being awesome before walking off, leaving us all to follow suit. I walked off stage smiling and thinking to myself as the adrenaline still pumped through my body. Andy placed his hand on my chest, he sung in my microphone without being forced to. He seemed happy to be close to me. Maybe he doesn't hate me like I thought he would. Maybe Jinxx was actually right about it all. Maybe we could work again...