A Passion Crime to Take What's Mine

Eyes of The Dismissed, Hearts of The Used

Ashley’s P.O.V:
I couldn’t sleep last night, I searched for Andy for hours and it wasn’t until night was setting in that I was forced to give up and retire for the night. I didn’t know where to go, I mean, I was supposed to spending my last night in America with Andy by my side, before we head out on tour in Europe. But that wasn’t to be. Not now.
Turning to the only person I know wouldn’t hate me, I walked solemnly back to my Grandma’s house, admitting defeat. Slowly allowing anguished tears to trail down my face, I open the door, calling out for her before bursting out into tears.
“Calm down, honey, it will be okay,” she cooed, hugging me, and soothing my hair.
“Ma, I’ve ruined everything, all the guys hate me! I don’t know what to do,” my body racks with sobs as I collapse into her arms.
“No one hates, you dear, but you need to be strong. You’re going on tour tomorrow, and you can’t let the guys down. They won’t hate you,”
“But… But Andy, he will hate me. He thinks I have cheated on him. I never did though. You have to believe me. But they won’t see it. I can’t believe I’ve hurt him once again. I always hurt him. He’s better off without me, Grandma…” I choke on my words, realising it is true; Andy is much better off without me, without being hurt every day of his life.
“Now, now, dear, no one thinks that. You and Andy are perfect together. You are just going to have to fight for it, and I never raised Ashley Purdy to be anything less than a fighter!” she cooed, rocking and soothing me as I cried. For the first time in years, I cried myself to sleep, tucked up in the spare room I cried and cried until there were no more tears to cry.
The sounds of birds chirping awoke me from my slumber, handing me the false impression that today would be amazing, but as soon as I looked at my phone I remembered we were going on tour today. Fuck. A whole two months with Andy starting from now. This can’t go that well; everyone hates me. I shook out my thoughts as I stood up, but realising that I needed to get changed I peeled off my suit. ‘Ha, how irritating would it be for him if I turned up in my wedding suit?’ I thought bitterly to myself. I just hope I could put things straight with the guys. Thanking my Grandma for keeping some of my old clothes, I got into a pair of ripped black skinny jeans, a black tank top and leather jacket. I found a pair of my cowboy boots in the corner of the room, packed away with a lot of my other stuff, and I quickly slipped them one before walking out to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast for the both of us; I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Everything was still in the same place as they had been when I was living in this house, so it took me mere minutes to find the ingredients and whip up a batch full of pancakes for us. Then I cooked up some bacon and grabbed the maple syrup before piling three pancakes onto a plate, covering them with maple syrup and then adding some bacon. I never quite understood why, or even how, anyone thought about this, but what I do know is: they are very tasty. A stirring from the corridor indicated that Grandma had woken up,
“Aw, Ashley, you didn’t have to cook for me,” she smiled, picking up some pancakes and dropping them onto her plate. Unlike me, she didn’t add bacon, but she did add a big serving of Maple syrup before tucking into them.
When we are finished with breakfast I put out plates in the sink, and then pick up my phone to see I have 2 missed calls and a text from Chuppy, or CC as most call him. “Dude, don’t worry about your stuff, we are bringing it, just meet us at the airport with everyone else,” my heart was filled with a sense of relief, but I was also terrified of today. What if Andy couldn’t stand me? What if the guys hated me? I couldn’t spend two months cramped on a bus with a group of guys who hate me.
Hopping onto the back of my grandma’s bike, she gave me a lift to the airport where I will meet the guys, surely CC will understand, I mean, he sounds as though he doesn’t hate me. I just pray the rest are the same with me.
The airport was pulling into sight, and I felt the adrenaline from being back on a bike fade, as anxiety stepped in. Too late now; you can’t turn back. We parked up, and I jumped off the bike, kissing grandma goodbye on the cheek, and turned to walk towards the airport.
“Hey, Ash, wait up!” CC screamed, Jesus, he can never be quiet. I stopped, braced myself for hating looks from any other member of the band that was with him. They didn’t come. CC and Jake were stood in front of me, with nothing but concerned joy in their eyes. “It’s so good to see you again!”
“CC, you saw me yesterday…” I say, raising my right eyebrow.
“Yeah, I know, I know, but I still missed you, buddy,” he said, pulling me into a hug and clapping my back. Jake then did the same, smiling at me, and giving me a strong hug. Phew.
Grabbing my stuff from the car they had arrived in, I walked next to them, dragging my suitcase behind.
“So, how are you, Ash, no one seems to ask you,” Jake enquired, in his almost constantly worried voice.
“I’m fine, anxious about today, but it’s mainly because I felt like everyone would hate me. I didn’t do what Josh says, you know that, right?” I reply; Jake just stares down to the ground as he walks,
“Of course I didn’t, I saw how devastated you were!” CC beamed in, causing me to smile slightly, despite what Jake thought; CC saw how I felt and at least I wasn’t completely on my own.
In the distance I could vaguely make out two men with longish black hair, one considerably taller than the other, and a slim girl standing with them. My heart quickened as panic set in. No, Ash, calm down, if you freak out he will think you are weird, so you can’t do that. I hate it when I work myself up because I act like a complete idiot, and it is a wonder to think I have never offended my band with my idiocy. Taking deep breaths to calm myself, we walked up to Andy and Jinxx. They didn’t know we were there at first, but I guess the clicking of my cowboy boots hinted we were here, so they turned around. Fuck. Andy looked as though he had been crying, and all I wanted to do was to hold him tight until he was better, but that will never happen now. Not now he hates me. His soft gaze caught my eye, and he suddenly turned his gaze to the floor, eyes glinting with pain. It was heart-breaking to see him like that.
Everyone was talking amongst themselves, leaving Andy and I silent, and feeling very uncomfortable.
“Where the hell is Jon?” I ask CC, but just as I did I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“I’m here. I’ve got your tickets guys, and they have your seat numbers. Jake, you are 20; Jinxx you are 21…”
“Hell yeah! We get to sit together!” the scream and high-five, just like little kids.
“Ash, you are 22; Andy, 23.” Fuck. Andy and I get to sit together for the whole flight. That’s just fucking perfect. “CC, you’re in 24, and are next to me,” he finished, although I was no longer interested in what he had to say. The whole band shared side-ways glances, and I knew they were all thinking the same thing. I glanced over to Andy, to see a nervous smile twitching at his lips. Save me, please.
We bundle our stuff onto the luggage trolleys and make our way through security, gaining us some suspicious looks, but that’s okay; we always get them. It’s like they think that five guys with black hair wearing make-up MUST be around to kill someone. Sitting at the terminal was the longest wait in the world, not to mention one of the most awkward ones I’ve ever had. But finally our flight was called and we found our way to gate 32. Jake and Jinxx jumped into the plane and found their seats and I followed suit. Great, seat 22 is the window seat, so now I have no one to talk to apart from Andy. I sat down, and so did Andy, not really wanting to talk to me. I bit my lip, looking at his slender figure, man, I still loved him. Clearing my throat, I picked up my courage,
“Hey”
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Sorry, guys, I am taking forever to update I ended up in hospital yesteray