Feeling This...

“Are you ready?” Val filled the doorway of my bathroom, in her black dress; her blonde hair pulled up into a tight bun.

“No,” I answered truthfully but followed her out of the room anyways, usually a pair of heels clicking against a wood floor would give me a satisfying feeling, but my heels were tapping their own little sad song today. The day we would bury my parents; officially.

At the bottom of the stairs Josie stood in her little black dress, waiting for me, arm extended to take mine. We hadn't seen each other since that night, Matt had put us on house arrest, in two different houses. Both of us had our cell phones taken away like we were 12, and Uncle Joe had fired us both so we had no excuse to leave the house.

“It's okay,” she muttered watching the water form in my eyes. Behind her Brian came into sight in his black clothes, they weren't a tux but they were dress clothes, for respect. More for Nanny than my parents, she wasn't taking it well, worse then expected out of her; she was a tough ass old lady, but this had rocked her world.

The mystery of how this all happened had remained, the guys had gone back to the witches the next day to ask some questions on why they had sent us out there, and if they had known, why were they only saying something now. But their house had been burned to the ground, and there was no bodies to be found.

The grave my “dad” was in, where Josie and I had dug up to retrieve a piece, was now empty. The body had been moved, the night we were out there. Whoever was doing this was close.

We all thought it had been Charles clearly, but none of the guys could smell anything other than themselves, Josie and I out in the grave yard.

The man from the shallow grave was gone, every part of him.

“It's not,” I whispered to Josie, and began following her towards the door, the guys leading the way, we passed through the back yard, through the crowded forest behind Matt's house and to a new clearing, a beautiful place, a field of yellow and white flowers littered the hill. To any passer by, we probably looked like idiots, in our dress clothes, heels covered in dirt from hiking through the woods, but this is where Nanny wanted to lay my family to rest.

At the top of the hill there was a grave stone they had made for my parents, and a large hole, six feet deep a beautifully crafted coffin was at the bottom, a box filled with bones.

No cops were called that night, no one investigated, it was wolf business.

Wolves from other packs were standing at the top of the hill where Nanny and Poppa waited for us, Nanny reached her cold hand out to me to take when we got to the top. She had been out here all day, watching them dig the hole, seeing over the bones, the casket, the grave stone, everything.

We didn't say anything as Matt began speaking to the packs, talking about my parent's like they were friends of his.

Today was the first time I sort of under stood what being a wolf pack was about, they were all out here, in 103 degree weather in their best dressed, while we buried people they didn't even know, bowing their head out of respect, coming together for no reason.

They did it for Nanny, for Poppa, for me.

I didn't think I could cry anymore, for the last three days I could have been classified as a water fall, everything I saw, everything I smelt or felt made me think of my parents, of their bodies in that hole, just thrown in like they were nothing but trash.

“I love you baby,” Nanny's sullen voice gave me goosebumps as she stared into the beautiful grave, and she squeezed my hand.

The head stone somehow had the perfect words on them, no name's were included, no dates, just two sentences that said all it needed too.

Finally at Peace
You are loved.

It was a wolf tradition, for each member of the family to place a shovel of dirt back on the casket, it was supposed to show loved ones letting go and allowing them to cross to the other side. Nanny and Poppa did a shovel full for my mother, followed by Uncle Joe and Aunt Rachel.

I did three, one for my father's family, no one was invited or showed, and two for me, one for each parent.

The feeling of throwing dirt on the casket felt like the dirt was hitting me too, my heart became heavier with each shovel full. I was working in auto pilot; I didn't hear any of the words spoken, I couldn't hear any of the woods making noise, no birds, no wind. Nothing.

Correction, nothing but his breathing. Ever since that night Brian and I kissed, it was like whatever we had before was super charged, everything he did, said, I knew. We had been avoiding each other, poorly. We always happened to be in the same place, especially since I was under house arrest; he never seemed to leave either. They all were on pins and needles around me, like the witches were going to pop out of no where and take me right out from under their nose. I was watched 24/7, the only way I could of sneaked out was out my bed room window which just happened to have one of the guys cars parked underneath it at all times, no way that would provide a soft landing. But even if I was to get out, where would I go?

After the ceremony was over we all went back to the house, sobs from Nanny could be heard the whole walk from the back of the group where she was wrapped around Poppa; each one rattled my heart more.

I had attempted to talk to her everyday, but neither of us knew what to say to the other, or wanted to talk.

When we finally got back to the house, I couldn't wait to get to the privacy of my bedroom, even though usually prisoners were never happy to go back to jail I was more than ready for solitude again.

“Did you want something to eat?” Val asked watching me go for the stairs the second we stepped through the sliding door.

“No,” I replied while my stomach rumbled in protest. I didn't look back, all of the packs would be coming back to the house for a small get together with some food. I just needed to get away from everyone.

The familiar tears began falling from my swollen eyes as I got into my bed after slipping my shoes off and covering myself up. The picture from the grave had come back into my possession and it was sitting on my bed side table, three unrecognizable faces smiling over at me; breaking my heart even more.

“I'm sorry mommy,” I whispered to the picture of the woman we had just put into the ground, “I should of known,” I cried into my pillow as sleep took over.

“Baby girl, listen sweety,” I was still in my room, warm in my bed, but I wasn't alone.

“Mom?” I whispered towards her beautiful face at the end of my bed. “Mom is it really you?”

“Yes baby girl,” she smiled at me, rubbing her hands against where my feet were under the blanket. “ my sweet Lottie,” She was the only one to ever call me that, and she hadn't in years...

“Mommy?” I felt my bottom lip quiver. “What happened to you?”

“There is no time darling,” her voice was smooth like it always had been, calming me right to the pit of my stomach, “You need to listen, tell the guys to find your father's brother, Mike. He is good, Lottie,” she smiled bigger.

“Mom your dead how are you here?”

“You're asleep sweet girl, I've always been here, I always will be here for you,”

“Who did this to you?”

“It doesn't matter, I'm okay now, you let me go like a good girl,” she reached out, her hand almost to my face before she stopped, keeping her hand there.

“I didn't know,”

“Magic is tricky, you never were as close with her as you were me, you just never knew why,” she turned her head towards my bedroom door.

“Tell them I said to find Mike, tell Joe it was me who broke his aqua man, he will know it was really me.”

“Where is dad?” I nodded my head listening to what could very well be the very last time I heard her voice.

“He's finally with me again,” she nodded over to my closet door, where my dad's form was leaning against the closet doors, smiling at me too.

“Don't let my father convince you of anything Charlie, I loved you so much, that is what he is most mad about, that I was proud of what you were becoming. Now find Mike,”

“Charlie are you okay?” Uncle Joe was standing in my doorway when I opened my eyes, “You've been asleep all afternoon,” he had huge bags under his eyes and wasn't standing up as straight as he used to.

“Mom said she broke your aqua man,” his eyes widened.

“What?”

“Mom, she came to me in my sleep, for real, she was right there!” I nodded my head towards the bottom of the bed, where the duvet was wrinkled everywhere but where mom had been, like weight had been on it. “She said to find dad's brother Mike,”

“What are you talking about Charlie?!” he came into the room but he kept his eyes on the weird spot on my bed.

“It was really her Uncle Joe, she called me Lottie,”

“No one has called you that..”

“In forever, it was really her,” I jumped up off the bed and came to stand in front of him, “you have to believe me, please!” he looked me in the eyes and then back over at the spot on the bed.

“I knew it was her that broke my aqua man,” he mumbled and pulled me towards the door.

–

“And just where are we going to find this Mike?” Matt snapped at the two of us, not believing that my dead mother came to me in a dream, with some valuable information.

“After all of this shit that is happening with magic and bodies disappearing! You're really going to doubt that Abbi came through in a dream?” Nanny questioned Matt while poppa put a hand on her shoulder.

“All we have is a name, how are we going to find him?”

A breeze blew through the living room and the lights flickered until they went out, instantly a hand wrapped around me, I knew by the way it made me feel that it was Brian.

I found out I was right as the lights came back on and Charles was in the middle of the room.

“You didn't even invite me to my son's funeral?” he met my glare, “Even after I've been raising you all of these years Mutt? That's just rude!” my stomach sunk, we all knew that it must have been Charles that had me all those years, but hearing him admit it was a bad feeling.

“What do you want from me?” I asked trying to move closer but Brian's grip just got tighter.

“I want you dead, all of you!” he looked around the room. “I know what the prophecy says, and when the pieces fell together, and it was you that it was talking about, your father, my oldest son, wouldn't do anything to stop it!” his anger made the lights flash again, “Then when you came into the world, he had the audacity to turn his back on his heritage and love something like you, something so vial, so unholy.”

“What are you talking about prophecy?” Matt tried to get to the man, but his legs didn't seem to work.

“It won't come true, that I can promise you of, your father, my son had to pay for his betrayal in blood, just like you will,”

With that he was gone, and we were left with more questions than answers once again.

Brian's grip was still tight around me as everyone began scrambling around; not quiet sure what had just happened.

“Welp lets find this Mike guy,” Zacky spoke for everyone.