Smith & Wesson
1
Smith & Wesson
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon and I wrote everything while sober. F*ck yeah, being sober.
Archie glanced around the Main Hall and sighed. Stupid, idiotic, boring bloody Annual General Meeting. That was the only problem with being the leader of Team Aqua; you had to occasionally hold meetings! It was a beautiful sunny day outside and what he really wanted to do was go to the beach, get tanked out of his brains on rum and watch the hot girls playing volleyball. But NO, instead, he was stuck inside for the next two hours.
Archie idly watched the seats filling up, wishing that everyone would hurry up and get in. The sooner they were all there, the sooner he could begin and get the dreary torture over with.
He fiddled about with some paperwork, checked the laptop with his Powerpoint on, then looked up again. Oh good, all the seats were filled. Nope, hang on...Shelley wasn't there yet.
"Bloody women, why the hell are they always late?" he muttered. "I bet she's still in the bathroom, checking her make up or whatever the hell girls do in there for hours".
Archie checked his watch...14:03. The AGM was meant to start at 14:00. Perhaps he could talk extra quickly and finish it three minutes early.
He looked at the seats again. A couple of guys in the front row were casting furtive glances towards him and smirking. What did they find so funny? Surely not his new, awesome outfit!
Archie lifted the laptop lid up and down, watching the little light blink on and off. He shuffled some more papers. He checked his watch again. 14:10. And Shelley's seat was still empty.
"Bloody hell!" he swore softly.
Archie switched on the microphone and spoke into it. "Oi!" he yelled. Everybody started and the guys who had been smirking nearly fell off their seats.
"Oi, you lot. Does anybody know where Shelley is?
He was met with a sea of blank faces. Some members shrugged; others muttered to each other.
"Anybody?" Archie said impatiently. "I wanna get this sodding thing over with and we can't start without her!"
"Call her on your phone?" Matt suggested.
"I'm gonna bloody have to", Archie snorted. He took his phone out of his pocket and entered Shelley' number. The phone rang for a moment, then the absentee answered.
"Hi, Shelley speaking", she said in a sleepy sounding voice. "Who's calling?"
"The fairy off the top of the Christmas tree" said Archie.
"Huh?"
"It's ME, Archie! Who do you think it is, you daft woman!"
"Ohhh, Archie!" said Shelley, sounding surprised. "Is something wrong?"
"Hmm, how about...YES! Do you know what day it is today?"
"Tuesday?"
Archie snorted into his phone. "Don't you remember? Something big is coming up today!"
Archie paused and listened, pressing his ear hard against his phone.
"Shelley, are you laughing at me?"
"Sorry, sorry! I totally agree with you Archie".
"Ha, then you know why today is important, yeah?"
"Ummm...no!"
Archie held his phone between his teeth, so he could mimick throttling somebody with his hands. Then he removed his phone and spoke into it again.
"It's the Annual General Meeting! And it's a quarter past two, fifteen minutes into the AGM! Which can't start because SOMEBODY isn't here when they should be".
"That's me", said Shelley, trying to control her laughter. "OK, listen Archie, I'm really sorry. I totally forgot it was today".
"Well, that's all very well and good but where the bloody hell ARE you?"
Silence. Archie huffed and waited. At last, Shelley replied.
"Um, recreation".
"Recreation?" What did that mean? Then, it came to him.
"Ah shit, you better not be doing drugs!" he scolded.
"Of course I'm not", Shelley said indignantly. "What do you take me for?"
"Alright, calm down, I'm sorry" said Archie. Great, now he was apologising to one of his staff. Still...Shelley was so naive and innocent. Archie felt protective of her.
"Humph, I am NOT some junkie!" Shelley said.
"I know, really", said Archie. "I just wouldn't want you to get mixed up in anything that could get you into any sort of trouble".
"Aww, Archie", said Shelley, touched at his concern. "It's OK, really. I promise you, I'm perfectly safe, alright?"
Archie noticed the time on his watch out of the corner of his eye. Twenty past two. He growled.
"Well, get yourself over here RIGHT NOW or you won't be perfectly safe from having your wages docked".
"Um, sure", said Shelley. "Can I just have ten minutes first to, erm, do my hair?"
Archie sighed. "OK, OK! Carry on".
"Awww, Archie, you're so sweet!" Shelley gushed. "Thank you sooooooooooo much!"
"No problem", said Archie rolling his eyes. "I'll see you in...wait, what was that sound? Was that a laptop turning on? Shelley?"
The call ended message appeared on the phone screen. Archie frowned.
*********************************
Some distance away, at Team Magma's Secret Hideout, Shelley was hunting around for her clothes, which she had previously torn off in a frenzy of passion. "Stupid AGM", she muttered, as she pulled her top on over her head. "Why did it have to be today? Just as I was getting warmed up too".
Shelley glanced across to the double bed she had just vacated, where a red-haired man was sitting up, typing on a laptop. Shelley gazed at him longingly, before sitting down next to him.
"Maxie?" she said but Maxie was so engrossed with the laptop, he didn't hear her.
Shelley brushed his hair away from his ear and blew gently in it.
"Huh?" said Maxie, looking up and blinking.
"Maxie, I have to leave now. My boss has called and says it's the AGM".
"Uh, well alright then. I have to work on this scientific report so I'll see you around".
Shelley grinned. "Other men just fall asleep afterwards, you know".
"Yes but I'm not like other men", Maxie said seriously.
"I know that", said Shelley, feeling her kness grow weak at the sight of Maxie. "When can I see you again?"
"Well, I really must finish this report off so..."...
"Oh, tomorrow it is then", said Shelley and she flung her arms around Maxie's neck and kissed him passionately.
"Y-yes...alright", Maxie gasped when he was finally released. "We can...do that, yeah".
"Splendid! OK, I'll see you tomorrow. I must fly now".
Maxie put his glasses on straight again and Shelley smirked as she reached for her Pokeball which contained a flying Pokemon.
"Drugs! Really, what kind of girl does Archie take me for?"
The End
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon and I wrote everything while sober. F*ck yeah, being sober.
Archie glanced around the Main Hall and sighed. Stupid, idiotic, boring bloody Annual General Meeting. That was the only problem with being the leader of Team Aqua; you had to occasionally hold meetings! It was a beautiful sunny day outside and what he really wanted to do was go to the beach, get tanked out of his brains on rum and watch the hot girls playing volleyball. But NO, instead, he was stuck inside for the next two hours.
Archie idly watched the seats filling up, wishing that everyone would hurry up and get in. The sooner they were all there, the sooner he could begin and get the dreary torture over with.
He fiddled about with some paperwork, checked the laptop with his Powerpoint on, then looked up again. Oh good, all the seats were filled. Nope, hang on...Shelley wasn't there yet.
"Bloody women, why the hell are they always late?" he muttered. "I bet she's still in the bathroom, checking her make up or whatever the hell girls do in there for hours".
Archie checked his watch...14:03. The AGM was meant to start at 14:00. Perhaps he could talk extra quickly and finish it three minutes early.
He looked at the seats again. A couple of guys in the front row were casting furtive glances towards him and smirking. What did they find so funny? Surely not his new, awesome outfit!
Archie lifted the laptop lid up and down, watching the little light blink on and off. He shuffled some more papers. He checked his watch again. 14:10. And Shelley's seat was still empty.
"Bloody hell!" he swore softly.
Archie switched on the microphone and spoke into it. "Oi!" he yelled. Everybody started and the guys who had been smirking nearly fell off their seats.
"Oi, you lot. Does anybody know where Shelley is?
He was met with a sea of blank faces. Some members shrugged; others muttered to each other.
"Anybody?" Archie said impatiently. "I wanna get this sodding thing over with and we can't start without her!"
"Call her on your phone?" Matt suggested.
"I'm gonna bloody have to", Archie snorted. He took his phone out of his pocket and entered Shelley' number. The phone rang for a moment, then the absentee answered.
"Hi, Shelley speaking", she said in a sleepy sounding voice. "Who's calling?"
"The fairy off the top of the Christmas tree" said Archie.
"Huh?"
"It's ME, Archie! Who do you think it is, you daft woman!"
"Ohhh, Archie!" said Shelley, sounding surprised. "Is something wrong?"
"Hmm, how about...YES! Do you know what day it is today?"
"Tuesday?"
Archie snorted into his phone. "Don't you remember? Something big is coming up today!"
Archie paused and listened, pressing his ear hard against his phone.
"Shelley, are you laughing at me?"
"Sorry, sorry! I totally agree with you Archie".
"Ha, then you know why today is important, yeah?"
"Ummm...no!"
Archie held his phone between his teeth, so he could mimick throttling somebody with his hands. Then he removed his phone and spoke into it again.
"It's the Annual General Meeting! And it's a quarter past two, fifteen minutes into the AGM! Which can't start because SOMEBODY isn't here when they should be".
"That's me", said Shelley, trying to control her laughter. "OK, listen Archie, I'm really sorry. I totally forgot it was today".
"Well, that's all very well and good but where the bloody hell ARE you?"
Silence. Archie huffed and waited. At last, Shelley replied.
"Um, recreation".
"Recreation?" What did that mean? Then, it came to him.
"Ah shit, you better not be doing drugs!" he scolded.
"Of course I'm not", Shelley said indignantly. "What do you take me for?"
"Alright, calm down, I'm sorry" said Archie. Great, now he was apologising to one of his staff. Still...Shelley was so naive and innocent. Archie felt protective of her.
"Humph, I am NOT some junkie!" Shelley said.
"I know, really", said Archie. "I just wouldn't want you to get mixed up in anything that could get you into any sort of trouble".
"Aww, Archie", said Shelley, touched at his concern. "It's OK, really. I promise you, I'm perfectly safe, alright?"
Archie noticed the time on his watch out of the corner of his eye. Twenty past two. He growled.
"Well, get yourself over here RIGHT NOW or you won't be perfectly safe from having your wages docked".
"Um, sure", said Shelley. "Can I just have ten minutes first to, erm, do my hair?"
Archie sighed. "OK, OK! Carry on".
"Awww, Archie, you're so sweet!" Shelley gushed. "Thank you sooooooooooo much!"
"No problem", said Archie rolling his eyes. "I'll see you in...wait, what was that sound? Was that a laptop turning on? Shelley?"
The call ended message appeared on the phone screen. Archie frowned.
*********************************
Some distance away, at Team Magma's Secret Hideout, Shelley was hunting around for her clothes, which she had previously torn off in a frenzy of passion. "Stupid AGM", she muttered, as she pulled her top on over her head. "Why did it have to be today? Just as I was getting warmed up too".
Shelley glanced across to the double bed she had just vacated, where a red-haired man was sitting up, typing on a laptop. Shelley gazed at him longingly, before sitting down next to him.
"Maxie?" she said but Maxie was so engrossed with the laptop, he didn't hear her.
Shelley brushed his hair away from his ear and blew gently in it.
"Huh?" said Maxie, looking up and blinking.
"Maxie, I have to leave now. My boss has called and says it's the AGM".
"Uh, well alright then. I have to work on this scientific report so I'll see you around".
Shelley grinned. "Other men just fall asleep afterwards, you know".
"Yes but I'm not like other men", Maxie said seriously.
"I know that", said Shelley, feeling her kness grow weak at the sight of Maxie. "When can I see you again?"
"Well, I really must finish this report off so..."...
"Oh, tomorrow it is then", said Shelley and she flung her arms around Maxie's neck and kissed him passionately.
"Y-yes...alright", Maxie gasped when he was finally released. "We can...do that, yeah".
"Splendid! OK, I'll see you tomorrow. I must fly now".
Maxie put his glasses on straight again and Shelley smirked as she reached for her Pokeball which contained a flying Pokemon.
"Drugs! Really, what kind of girl does Archie take me for?"
The End
♠ ♠ ♠
I apologise in advance for writing this :P Got excited cus of the remakes coming out soon ya know.