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Your Inaccessible Light

“Numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when you actually feel it,” is what Austin once said to me. That was the moment I realised he was too far gone. He was too caught up in that horrible sick mess and it was too late for him to get out. He knew that. I knew that. Maybe other people knew that too, but they just pretended they didn’t, or they didn’t care enough to help.

Ronnie reminded me of Austin. Ronnie was arrogant and rude and aggressive and troublesome, sweet and funny and honest, all at the same time, just like Austin was. Ronnie was dangerous and my head was begging me to run as far away from him as was humanly possible, but my heart was forcing me to stay. It was my chance to do things over, but this time do it right.

I knew from the start it wouldn’t be easy, but I never imagined just how hard it would be. It brought back memories from my past, some of which I wanted nothing more than to forget. It’s hard to move on from Austin when I see so much of him in Ronnie. Maybe it’s worth it.