Your Inaccessible Light

I arrive outside my form class just as the bell rings. Students pile in one after the other, but I wait until they have all found their seats before I enter. There are two empty seats left, both in the far corner. I sit in the one on the right. Out of habit, I scan the room for a familiar face, even though I know I won’t see one. No one knows me here. I am a stranger. Knowing that gives me the best feeling I’ve felt in 372 days.

“Good morning class, I hope that you all had a good summer,” Mrs. McDonald says with a smile far too wide for a Monday morning. She reads out a bunch of information that I in particular should probably be listening to, but I struggle to pay attention at the best of times. Her voice is loud and intrusive and it makes it impossible for me to listen to what she is saying.

The classroom door swings open and suddenly the atmosphere in the room changes. Some people tense up a little bit. Most people look down at the ground. Everyone avoids the latecomer’s gaze.

I look directly at him.

He is a tall slim boy with long dark hair, a nose piercing and a ring of black eyeliner drawn around either of his chocolate brown eyes. He is clad is black skinny jeans and a Black Sabbath t-shirt which reveals his tattoo-covered arms. There is something strange about him which fills my stomach with anxious butterflies. I don’t know why, but whatever it is, I find myself unable to tear my eyes away from him.

“Mr. Radke, nice of you to finally join us,” Mrs. McDonald sighs, “I hope you don’t make a habit of arriving late or you will land yourself in detention, much like you did last year.”

“Sorry Miss, can you forgive me?” he smirks.

“Sit down Ronnie,” Mrs. McDonald mutters, pointing to the seat next to me. I tense up, out of natural instinct rather than fear. Ronnie saunters over to the seat and the smell of cigarette smoke fills my nose. He looks like trouble, and he seems arrogant. I shake my head and force myself to face the front.

“Are you new here?” he asks casually, and I’m relieved that I now have an excuse to look at him.

“Yeah.”

“Where are you from?”

“Georgia.”

“So that’s why I haven’t seen you around. What’s your name sweetie?”

“Noelle.” I’m not usually so blunt and so quiet, but my brain seems to have shut down, leaving me unable to reply with anything more than one word answers.

“Ronnie,” he tells me, reaching out his hand. I extend my hand to shake his, but he takes me by surprise and raises my hand to his lips, gently kissing my hand. A shocked laugh escapes my lips and Ronnie smirks, shaking his head as he releases my hand.

“Go easy on her Radke, she’s a newbie,” a voice from behind laughs. I tear my eyes from Ronnie long enough to turn around to see a boy with brown hair, slightly shorter than Ronnie’s. He is wearing black on black, just like Ronnie and he has snakebites. To anyone else, he would probably look intimidating.

“I’m just being nice,” Ronnie chuckles.

“Sure you are,” the boy nods before turning his attention to me, “I apologise for my friend here. I’m Max.”

“Noelle,” I tell him and he nods before Mrs. McDonald silences the class again and hands out our timetables. I browse through my classes, which are anything but interesting. I used to excel at school. I was very academic and great at sport, but my main passion had always been photography. It sounds clichéd but I loved capturing a moment and having it forever. Memories were all well and good, but they could be forgotten. Photographs were permanent. I used to want to be a photographer when I left school, maybe a wedding photographer or maybe taking photos of musicians performing on stage. I don’t know what I want to be anymore.

It is not long until the bell rings and the class immediately gets to their feet and leaves.

“I’ll see you around sweetie,” Ronnie smirks before he and Max disappear into the crowd. Suddenly
I am able to see straight again. I gather my things and shove them into my bag, but just as I am about to leave, I get called back by Mrs. McDonald.

“Noelle, Amber, could I speak to you two a minute?” I take a seat at the teacher’s desk and a
pretty brown haired girl sits next to me.

“Noelle this is Amber. Amber, Noelle is new here so I thought maybe you could show her around and make sure she knows how things work,” Mrs. McDonald suggests.

“Sure,” Amber smiles, “Where are you from?”

“Georgia. I lived in Marietta, just outside of Atlanta,” I tell her.

“Wow, that’s quite a way,” she remarks.

“I know you two have a lot of classes together, so if you need anything Noelle, just ask Amber;
she’ll help you with whatever you need.”

“Thank you,” I nod gratefully.

“No problem.” Amber and I stand up and head out the door into the crowded corridor.

“I see you met Ronnie and Max then,” she observes, a knowing smirk on her face.

“I get the feeling they have some sort of reputation around here?” I question. Amber lets out a small laugh.

“You could say that,” she giggles, “They’re in a band. They get in trouble a lot. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of them. I speak to Max now and then and he can be nice, but Ronnie…I’ve never spoken to him. He’s sort of infamous in this place. Everyone knows who he is. The girls are all over him. The guys all want to be him. No one wants to piss him off. I’ve never been able to get my head around him.”

“He seems okay to me,” I shrug, before adding quickly, “I don’t think I’ll be all over him though.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. He’s not the kind of person you want to get involved with.”

“Yeah,” I agree, although the unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach still remains. I don’t for one second doubt that Ronnie Radke is trouble, but trouble has followed me around since I was a kid. Trouble is all I’m familiar with, because it is all I know.