Your Inaccessible Light

By the end of the school day, I have managed to think things through and calm down. Instead of heading straight home though, I drop by the principal’s office to see if Ronnie’s still there. Max said he got taken there after the fight was eventually broken up.

“Hello love, you okay?” the young secretary asks.

“Is Ronnie still around?”

“Yeah, he’s in the medical room. I can’t imagine it would be a problem for you to go through,” she says, pointing to the door on her right. I smile gratefully and push open the door to see Ronnie sitting sideways on the bench with his legs stretched out and his arms crossed across his chest. There is a bruise above his eyebrow and another on his jaw, but aside from that, he seems to be unharmed.

“Hello trouble,” he greets, nodding his head in my direction. The nurse, who is rifling through the cupboard, looks up and gives me a warm smile.

“The only trouble around here is you,” I say nonchalantly as Ronnie moves his legs from the bench to the floor so that I can sit down next to him.

“So I keep being told. What brings you here?”

“I just wanted to…talk…but I’m guessing you’re kind of busy.”

“No, you go for it. Audrey here has cleaned me up after enough fights to know all my business by now,” he grins at the nurse who gives a small smile as she rolls her eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I can’t go anywhere until I’ve spoken to the principal anyway. Fuckface is talking to him at the moment.” The nurse clears her throat but doesn’t look up from the forms she is filling out at her desk.

“Sorry nurse,” he smirks before turning his attention back to me, “What’s up?”

“Has Max spoken to you at all?”

“Yep. He said you were pissed about earlier, but if you’re expecting an apology, you’re not gonna get one. I was only looking out for you.”

“I know that Ronnie, but don’t you think you’re going to extremes here?”

“I don’t want you being put in danger because of the decisions I make. You shouldn’t have to take any shit for me.” I notice the nurse sigh under her breath upon hearing Ronnie curse, but she’s clearly given up calling him out on it.

“Dwayne made one comment to me. I wasn’t even offended so I don’t know why you were.”

“Because people use you against me okay?” he cries, his tone more aggressive than usual, “People clearly have caught onto the fact I care about you and they make these comments because they know it will get a reaction out of me.”

“Then don’t react to it and they’ll stop.”

“Oh yeah, cos it’s the easy,” he scoffs, “He spoke to you like you were a fucking sex object. That’s not fucking okay. He needs to learn some respect.” I let out a blunt laugh. His comment does make me feel special but even so, Ronnie is possibly the most hypocritical human being on the planet.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“That’s different though. You’re not like the others. You just…you wouldn’t understand.”

“I hate it when you say that. Of course I’m not gonna understand if you don’t bloody tell me.”

“The girl’s got a point,” the nurse chips in, making me laugh, “You sound so condescending.”

“You stay out of this Audrey,” Ronnie says, the mischievous look in his eye so evident that we know he doesn’t mean his comment in a rude way.

“Ronnie, you’re always there for me and that means absolutely everything, but you’ve gotta let some things go. You know I like to be independent and I can’t spend my whole life relying on you. I’m not as weak and incapable as you seem to think I am. If I can stand up to you then I can stand up to anyone right?”

“I don’t think you’re weak or incapable. You’re fucking crazy. You scare the shit out of me sometimes and not many people can do that so easily.”

“I think that’s an achievement,” I say proudly, lightening the tone of the conversation, “I feel kinda special.”

“You’re certainly that,” he teases, “I will try to be less protective over you but I can’t promise anything alright?”

“Thank you Ronnie. I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you soon.”

“Aye.”

The next day, I arrive at school on my own and get to form class just as the bell rings. Ronnie isn’t in, so I assume he’s been excluded, although he hasn’t text me to let me know, not that I expect him to of course. Max isn’t in either, but I saw him in the parking lot on my way into school, so he must be bunking. I sit with Amber as Mrs. McDonald rattles through the morning announcements before dismissing us.

“Noelle, can I have a word?” she calls just as I am about to leave.

“Sure,” I say before taking a seat at her desk.

“So…you and Ronnie?”

“What about us?”

“You’re together, right?”

“Oh, no. No we’re just friends. We’re not together. Why?”

“I just want to make sure that you are okay. You’re a really good kid, and you know as well as anyone else does that that boy leaves a path of destruction wherever he goes. I’d hate for you to get caught up in something you don’t want to be caught up in.”

“Ronnie’s good to me,” I protest, “He’s not as bad as he seems.”
“I’m not saying he is, but I heard about what happened yesterday. Mr. Radke has a lot of enemies and I don’t want them becoming your enemies. You know this is his last chance? If he screws up anymore then he’s out for good.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do for him?”

“For us to help him, he has to help himself also. He’ll never go anywhere the way he is at the moment.”
“Going through a bad time doesn’t make him a bad person,” I argue, sounding more aggressive than I meant to.

“There are rules that must be followed,” she responds, her tone authoritative and final.

“Fine,” I sigh, “I’ll talk to him. But you’re wrong about him. He’s going places; he’s going to make something of himself. He’ll prove you all wrong.”

“I sincerely hope so.”