Status: Active. Updated fortnightly
Your Inaccessible Light
'I've Never Even Kissed A Boy'
After a couple of hours, the guys pack everything away and we go into the living room so everyone can sit down.
“You guys are really good,” I tell them.
“Thanks,” Monte grins, “I didn’t think you would be into this sort of music.”
“Yeah, I have a very…diverse music taste.”
“What do you listen to then?”
“I like Green Day, the White Stripes and Oasis. Blink 182 are my absolute favourite. I like Linkin Park aswell.” Ronnie smirks.
“What?” I ask him.
“Nothing,” he shrugs, “I like Blink…and Green Day.” The guys all nod in agreement.
“Can you sing?” Max asks me.
“No way,” I laugh, “Why?”
“You just look like someone that can sing. Can you play?”
“Nope; I have no musical talent whatsoever.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Omar shrugs.
“It is.”
“Prove it,” Ronnie smirks.
“What?”
“Let us hear you sing,” he instructs.
“God, do you want to go deaf?” The guys all laugh, but for the next few minutes, they continue to nag me to sing, but I continue to refuse. We then talk about different bands and artists we like until it starts to get late. I leave just before nine and Ronnie offers to walk me home since they’ve been drinking a bit therefore can’t drive.
“Tonight was fun,” I tell him honestly.
“It was,” Ronnie agrees.
“Thank you for cheering me up.”
“Anytime sweetie.” When we arrive outside my house, I’m strangely reluctant to leave. Ronnie plants a kiss on my cheek, a kiss that sends my head spinning, before saying goodbye and heading back to his. My dad is watching something on television when I walk through the door, so I say goodnight to him and then go upstairs. My head is spinning but I don’t know why. I can’t understand why I am so drawn to this boy whom I know nothing about. I know this is dangerous, particularly if my parents find out. All they have ever wanted for me is to do well in school and graduate and go far in life. They would be destroyed if they thought I was ‘getting in with the wrong crowd.’ My emotions are so conflicted and it irritates me that I can’t explain how I’m feeling. I’m scared and I’m sad and I’m lonely but there’s something thrilling and exciting about being around Ronnie. He makes me feel something, and although I can’t pinpoint quite what it is, it’s a welcome relief from the unrelenting emptiness I’ve been stuck with. This constant struggle doesn’t seem so bad now that someone has not only noticed, but wants to help.
When morning arrives, I don’t feel as exhausted as I usually do. I scramble out of bed and then take a shower. My parents have already left for work, so I lock up the house and walk to school. Just about a block away from school, Amber appears.
“Hey girl, care to explain to me where these rumours have come from?” she squeals, eyeing me suspiciously.
“What rumours?” I ask, raising my eyebrows in confusion.
“The rumour that you slept with Ronnie Radke.”
“What?!” I gasp, “No. That is most definitely not true.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. Trust me Amber, I’m not one of those girls; I’ve never even kissed a boy,” I admit.
“That surprises me,” she smirks, “But come on, where have these rumours come from?”
“I don’t know, who is saying it?”
“Pretty much the entire school.” I shrug. I don’t really care what people say to be honest. I know it’s not true and Ronnie knows it’s not true and Amber knows it’s not true. People can think what they like.
“What really happened then?” Amber persists.
“Nothing,” I cry defensively. She eyes me suspiciously. “He invited me to see his band play a couple of times. He’s nice and we’re friends but that’s it. I definitely haven’t slept with him.”
“Oh my god!” Amber squeals, “You’ve haven’t even been here two weeks but you’ve already hung out with Ronnie. Do you even know how cool that is?”
“I thought you said it was sensible to avoid him,” I tease.
“Yeah, it’s sensible, but being sensible isn’t fun,” she smirks, “Do you know how many girls would be jealous of you? That’s fucking awesome.”
“I guess so,” I shrug, trying to keep the smile off of my face. I can’t pretend I don’t like this sort of attention.
“Seriously though, you need to be careful,” she warns, “Ronnie Radke looks at women as nothing more than sex objects.”
“I don’t know Amber; I think there’s something more to him than he lets on.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it. Just promise you’ll be careful.”
“I will,” I tell her as we arrive at our form class. Ronnie doesn’t turn up and neither does Max, so I assume they’re both bunking. Throughout the class, I am constantly distracted by the three girls behind me whispering. They’re all wearing more make-up than they are clothes and they’re eyeing me suspiciously as though I’ve done something wrong. I can’t help but feel I’m being talked about.
When the bell rings, I pick up my things and leave the room. Amber isn’t in the same lesson as me next, but I know my way around school by now.
“Noelle!” a voice behind me calls. I turn around to see the three girls from earlier catching up with
me.
“Hey,” I mutter, forcing a smile.
“That didn’t take long,” the girl with bleach blonde hair frowns.
“What?” I ask, narrowing my eyes in confusion.
“You and Ronnie,” she laughs, as though it should be obvious. There’s a spiteful tone to her voice and she bears an aggressive posture. I don’t know whether she’s genuinely angry or if she’s just trying to intimidate me. Either way, I’m not scared of her. I’ve dealt with things a lot scarier than bitchy teenage girls.
“I didn’t sleep with him if that’s what you’re thinking,” I tell her, examining my nails and pursing my lips, just because I know it will antagonize her. It’s too easy.
“That’s weird because everyone’s saying you did.”
“That’s weird because if it did happen, which it didn’t, everyone wouldn’t have been there,” I tease and her jaw clenches.
“I’d be careful if I were you; the amount of people he’s slept with, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s got some sort of disease.”
“Then I think it’s you that should be worried honey, because I’m ninety nine per cent sure the only person here that has slept with him is you.” The other two girls’ mouths drop open as if in shock. I can’t work out why no one stands up to people around this place. I, for one, will not be pushed around or walked all over by anyone, particularly not a bunch of Barbies.
“I’ll see you around,” I smirk before turning on my heel and walking away.
“You guys are really good,” I tell them.
“Thanks,” Monte grins, “I didn’t think you would be into this sort of music.”
“Yeah, I have a very…diverse music taste.”
“What do you listen to then?”
“I like Green Day, the White Stripes and Oasis. Blink 182 are my absolute favourite. I like Linkin Park aswell.” Ronnie smirks.
“What?” I ask him.
“Nothing,” he shrugs, “I like Blink…and Green Day.” The guys all nod in agreement.
“Can you sing?” Max asks me.
“No way,” I laugh, “Why?”
“You just look like someone that can sing. Can you play?”
“Nope; I have no musical talent whatsoever.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Omar shrugs.
“It is.”
“Prove it,” Ronnie smirks.
“What?”
“Let us hear you sing,” he instructs.
“God, do you want to go deaf?” The guys all laugh, but for the next few minutes, they continue to nag me to sing, but I continue to refuse. We then talk about different bands and artists we like until it starts to get late. I leave just before nine and Ronnie offers to walk me home since they’ve been drinking a bit therefore can’t drive.
“Tonight was fun,” I tell him honestly.
“It was,” Ronnie agrees.
“Thank you for cheering me up.”
“Anytime sweetie.” When we arrive outside my house, I’m strangely reluctant to leave. Ronnie plants a kiss on my cheek, a kiss that sends my head spinning, before saying goodbye and heading back to his. My dad is watching something on television when I walk through the door, so I say goodnight to him and then go upstairs. My head is spinning but I don’t know why. I can’t understand why I am so drawn to this boy whom I know nothing about. I know this is dangerous, particularly if my parents find out. All they have ever wanted for me is to do well in school and graduate and go far in life. They would be destroyed if they thought I was ‘getting in with the wrong crowd.’ My emotions are so conflicted and it irritates me that I can’t explain how I’m feeling. I’m scared and I’m sad and I’m lonely but there’s something thrilling and exciting about being around Ronnie. He makes me feel something, and although I can’t pinpoint quite what it is, it’s a welcome relief from the unrelenting emptiness I’ve been stuck with. This constant struggle doesn’t seem so bad now that someone has not only noticed, but wants to help.
When morning arrives, I don’t feel as exhausted as I usually do. I scramble out of bed and then take a shower. My parents have already left for work, so I lock up the house and walk to school. Just about a block away from school, Amber appears.
“Hey girl, care to explain to me where these rumours have come from?” she squeals, eyeing me suspiciously.
“What rumours?” I ask, raising my eyebrows in confusion.
“The rumour that you slept with Ronnie Radke.”
“What?!” I gasp, “No. That is most definitely not true.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. Trust me Amber, I’m not one of those girls; I’ve never even kissed a boy,” I admit.
“That surprises me,” she smirks, “But come on, where have these rumours come from?”
“I don’t know, who is saying it?”
“Pretty much the entire school.” I shrug. I don’t really care what people say to be honest. I know it’s not true and Ronnie knows it’s not true and Amber knows it’s not true. People can think what they like.
“What really happened then?” Amber persists.
“Nothing,” I cry defensively. She eyes me suspiciously. “He invited me to see his band play a couple of times. He’s nice and we’re friends but that’s it. I definitely haven’t slept with him.”
“Oh my god!” Amber squeals, “You’ve haven’t even been here two weeks but you’ve already hung out with Ronnie. Do you even know how cool that is?”
“I thought you said it was sensible to avoid him,” I tease.
“Yeah, it’s sensible, but being sensible isn’t fun,” she smirks, “Do you know how many girls would be jealous of you? That’s fucking awesome.”
“I guess so,” I shrug, trying to keep the smile off of my face. I can’t pretend I don’t like this sort of attention.
“Seriously though, you need to be careful,” she warns, “Ronnie Radke looks at women as nothing more than sex objects.”
“I don’t know Amber; I think there’s something more to him than he lets on.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it. Just promise you’ll be careful.”
“I will,” I tell her as we arrive at our form class. Ronnie doesn’t turn up and neither does Max, so I assume they’re both bunking. Throughout the class, I am constantly distracted by the three girls behind me whispering. They’re all wearing more make-up than they are clothes and they’re eyeing me suspiciously as though I’ve done something wrong. I can’t help but feel I’m being talked about.
When the bell rings, I pick up my things and leave the room. Amber isn’t in the same lesson as me next, but I know my way around school by now.
“Noelle!” a voice behind me calls. I turn around to see the three girls from earlier catching up with
me.
“Hey,” I mutter, forcing a smile.
“That didn’t take long,” the girl with bleach blonde hair frowns.
“What?” I ask, narrowing my eyes in confusion.
“You and Ronnie,” she laughs, as though it should be obvious. There’s a spiteful tone to her voice and she bears an aggressive posture. I don’t know whether she’s genuinely angry or if she’s just trying to intimidate me. Either way, I’m not scared of her. I’ve dealt with things a lot scarier than bitchy teenage girls.
“I didn’t sleep with him if that’s what you’re thinking,” I tell her, examining my nails and pursing my lips, just because I know it will antagonize her. It’s too easy.
“That’s weird because everyone’s saying you did.”
“That’s weird because if it did happen, which it didn’t, everyone wouldn’t have been there,” I tease and her jaw clenches.
“I’d be careful if I were you; the amount of people he’s slept with, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s got some sort of disease.”
“Then I think it’s you that should be worried honey, because I’m ninety nine per cent sure the only person here that has slept with him is you.” The other two girls’ mouths drop open as if in shock. I can’t work out why no one stands up to people around this place. I, for one, will not be pushed around or walked all over by anyone, particularly not a bunch of Barbies.
“I’ll see you around,” I smirk before turning on my heel and walking away.
♠ ♠ ♠
I think I quite like this chapter. Although nothing particularly interesting happens, it shows more of what Noelle is like as a person and how she interacts with other people.QOTD: Who are you favourite bands/artists and what are your favourite songs?
Ella x