I'm Just a Puppet and She's Holding the Strings

At about 9am my eyes flickered open and they were followed by a quiet yawn.

I stretched slightly and turned over carefully to see Pierre's back.

Suddenly, what happened last night came flooding back to me.

We kissed. Properly and purposely. Because we wanted to.

That's not good.

I needed to get out of here.

I eased myself off the bed and out of the room, only once glancing back at Pierre.

I crept down the stairs and slid into the kitchen.

"Good morning," Beth smiled at me.

"Morning," I replied uneasily, "Hey Beth?" I began.

"Yeah?"

"Could you do me a favour please?"

"Depends what it is,"

"Would you be able to take Pierre home when he needs to go please? I have to go home, I have some stuff to do,"

"Sure, I'll get Sebastien to drop him off later," She nodded.

"You're an angel, thank you,"

"You're welcome,"

And so I spent the next fifteen minutes sneaking around the house getting ready for the day... Feeling slightly unclean in the same underwear I wore yesterday but I didn't fancy wearing someone else knickers even if they were clean.

When I was ready, I grabbed my keys and my bag and then headed into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go, Beth. Thank you for letting me stay and for lending me your clothes and stuff," I announced with a grateful smile.

"You're welcome honey," She grinned, "Thank you for coming to our dinner last night,"

I shot her a small smile, "Don't think anything of it,"

She wandered over to me and enveloped me in a hug, "See you soon,"

I squeezed her tight and let her go, "Bye,"

I spun around and came to a sudden halt when a half naked figure stumbled into the kitchen, one hand scratching his stomach and the other rubbing his face as he yawned.

But he stopped in mid-yawn when he saw me.

And at that point, I knew Pierre had remembered what had happened.

I watched his hands fall to his sides and I noticed him seem to become a little self-conscious.

He cleared his throat, "Morning,"

I awkwardly half-smiled, "Hey,"

Our eyes avoided each others.

"Um... Seb's gonna drop you off later 'cause I have some stuff to do," I informed.

With brief eye-contact he nodded, "Okay,"

"I'll see you later then," I greeted and walked towards the door, swiftly diverting any brushes of skin or any contact between us.

"Bye," Pierre breathed as I left the kitchen.

"What-" Beth began but Pierre cut her off.

"Don't ask," He interrupted.

I sighed nervously and headed out of the front door, closing it gently behind me.

After last night's ridiculous storm, the sky was now clear and the sun was shining brightly.

But no amount of sun could cheer me up from the future of this very awkward situation.

Twenty Minutes Later

"I'm sorry?" Mia said with a startled expression, "You and Pierre did what now?!"

"We um... Kissed," I repeated.

"We're talking small, innocent peck on the lips between friends, right?" Her eyebrow arched with intrigue.

"Not exactly..." I trailed off, "We're talking more like spontaneous French kissing at night, in the dark, in bed which could possibly have led to something more if we weren't so tired or in someone else's house,"

"Why... I mean how... I just..." She paused, for once not knowing what to say.

But it didn't last long.

"How the hell did that happen?!" She breathed.

"Well the storm last night meant that I couldn't drive home, I wouldn't let Pierre drive my car and Beth and Seb had both had alcohol so Beth suggested we stay the night. Pierre and I slept in separate rooms but the storm kept going so I was obviously petrified like you'd expect,"

Mia nodded, fully aware of my fear.

"And so I went into Pierre's room for comfort. He let me sleep in his bed, in which he was half naked, and we had a little friendly argument,"

She snorted at my choice of words.

"So I hit him, playfully mind you, but it was much harder that I intended so, with the playful mood I was in, I kissed his chest better then one thing let to another and... We were attached by the lips,"

"My God this is as twisted as the stuff you get on Jerry Springer," Then she added (in a horribly bad 'Hillbilly' accent), "Hi Jerry, my name's Rachel and I've fallen in love with an engaged man so I pretend-dated his best friend to get him jealous but now I've kissed the best friend," She sighed, "All you need to do now is sleep with Beth and I'll be signing you up for the show,"

"Have you finished?" I asked exasperatedly, my eyebrows furrowed.

"No," She shook her head, "You're an idiot," She added, "Okay now I'm finished,"

"For one, I already know I'm an idiot," I stated, "And all your criticism really isn't helping me,"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me what to do!"

"Well, funnily enough Rach, I haven't been in this situation before so even if I wanted to tell you, I couldn't. All I can give you is cliche things that I wouldn't do unless I was in a fairytale,"

"That'll do," I shrugged, "Any advice at all, crap or not,"

She rolled her eyes, "All I can suggest is talking to him,"

"Mhm..." I spoke slowly, "And how exactly does that help?"

"Maybe if you explain to him that you didn't mean it, you just got carried away and you don't feel for him it'll help," She suggested, "I mean, Pierre has a flirtatious style and you play along just because that's the way you are and that's why everyone believes that you like each other. But I can tell that he's not attracted to you. You never know, talking to him might be the best option, he might feel the same way," Her shoulders lifted in a shrug.

"But what if he thinks that it meant something and I'll just go up to him and be like 'oh yeah, I didn't and don't feel anything for you, I was just using you as a comfort blanket'?" I frowned, "I couldn't do that; I'd feel guilty if I hurt him,"

"Well that's a risk you're going to have to take,"

I let out a sigh.

I knew I had to talk to him sooner or later otherwise people will begin to get very suspicious as to the awkwardness with no reason for it.

Mia was right.

"You should go talk to him now," She added.

"I can't go now,"

"Why not?"

"Because I just asked Beth to drop Pierre off 'cause I had stuff to do at home, I can hardly go back now,"

"Well leave it a while and go over later,"

I chewed on the inside of my lip and nodded, "Okay,"

I jumped slightly when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

One New Message
From: Pierre
Beth was giving me the 3rd degree. I told her we had a bit of an argument so that's why we were acting weird. I think she bought it. I just thought I'd let you know so we don't slip up until we've sorted this. We need to talk. X.

My stomach churned, "I don't want to talk," I whined childishly.

"Is that him?" Mia nosed.

"Yeah,"

"Let me see," She held out her hand for the phone.

I passed it over and eyed her face for emotion as she read it.

"Hmm..." She mumbled, "I guess he had the same idea as me," She continued, "But I have to admit, he cares a lot about you to keep covering for all these slip ups,"

"He cares about proving his point,"

"No-one would go this far only to prove a point. He really cares about your friendship,"

"I guess so,"

"Are you working tonight?" She enquired, changing the subject.

"Yeah, eight 'til one, are you?"

"Five 'til nine," She replied.

"Seen much of Zachary lately?" I smiled.

"Yeah, I saw him last night and we're going out this afternoon,"

I grinned, "Awesome, have a good time,"

"We will," She nodded.

"I'm gonna go home for a while, I need a shower and stuff," I spoke, getting up from the chair and stretching.

"Okay then, I hope that you sort it out with Pierre,"

"Yeah, me too," I smiled, "See you later,"

I headed out of the front door and jumped into my car.

And after a few hours (and a lot of convincing myself) I was sitting outside Sebastien and Beth's house staring at the front door as if it would lunge out and eat me.

I took a deep breath and got out of the car, slowly making my way to the front door and knocking.

My hands rubbed together nervously as I waited for an answer.

The door was soon pulled open and my heart skipped a beat as my eyes locked on a pair of shocking blues.

"Hey," I spoke breathlessly.

Sebastien shot me a small smile, "Hi," He pulled the door further back and stepped aside, gesturing for me to come in.

"Is Pierre still here?" I asked with hopeful eyes.

Sebastien nodded, "He's upstairs. Beth told me about your argument,"

"It wasn't so much an argument as a disagreement,"

"I hope you sort it out," He smiled.

Likes me my arse, I haven't seen a drop of jealousy out of him.

"Thanks," I replied meekly, "Can I just go up?"

"Yeah sure, I think he's in the room he slept in last night,"

I nodded and jumped up the stairs, quickly finding Pierre in the room, lying down on the bed.

He had his headphones in and was bobbing his head to the music as he stared at Sebastien's laptop with ultimate concentration. I think he was playing Solitaire.

I knocked gently on the door but he didn't hear me.

But his eyes shot to me as I stepped inside, closing the door over behind me.

He pulled out his headphones, closed the laptop and shimmied to the end of the bed with a smile.

"Hey," He greeted.

I smiled nervously, "Hey,"

He shuffled to one side and patted the space next to him.

I ran a shaky hand through my hair and took a seat beside him, sliding off my shoes and sitting cross-legged. I turned my body to face him and locked my hands in my lap.

He turned and smiled.

"We need to talk," He began.

I nodded, "I know, I was about to call you myself when you text me,"

"Do you want to go first?" He offered.

"No you can," I chuckled.

"Are you sure? Because I'll gladly let you go first if you want to,"

"No, honestly, it's fine, you go first,"

He laughed slightly and took a deep breath, "Okay... Listen Rach, I'm not exactly sure how you feel but I feel like last night, our kiss, was a mistake,"

I heaved out the breath that I'd been holding, "Oh thank God!"

"What?" He laughed in a confused manner.

"I feel exactly the same, I wasn't sure whether you actually liked me and it was real for you or you didn't like me and it was an accident,"

"Well it wasn't exactly an accident," He interjected, "It's not as if we fell onto each other's lips,"

"You know what I mean, I was petrified by the storm and I was feeling really lonely because this Sebastien situation has completely messed me up, I was kind of using you... But not in a bad way, no offence intended,"

"None taken," He smiled, "I haven't had someone in so long and you and I have gotten on so well I kind of got caught in the moment, I was kind of using you too but in a different way, no offence,"

"None taken," I repeated, "I'm so glad we feel the same way. I was so scared in case you felt something for me and I was just going to come over to say that I didn't feel the same. I was so scared in case I hurt you,"

"It'll take more than rejection from a girl to knock Pierre Bouvier back," He spoke powerfully.

I snorted and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the chest gently.

He laughed and ruffled my hair for which I shot him a glare and manically tried to fix it.

When my hair was back in place I sighed.

"So we're cool right?" His eyebrows rose at me hopefully.

"Cooler than ice," I replied with a grin.

He chuckled and grabbed my hand, "You have the weirdest sayings in the world,"

"I know and you have the weirdest face in the world,"

"Hey!" He pouted.

I smirked, "I'm only kidding,"

"You'd better be," He glared.

We fell into silence for a second.

"Are we still going to carry on with this thing?" He questioned.

"What thing?" I frowned.

"The 'us' thing," He explained.

"Oh, well I don't really mind. We don't have to if you don't want to,"

"I don't care. I'll still carry on with it as long as you still want to find out the truth,"

"Well so far I haven't seen even a smidgen of jealousy from him so I'm beginning to think that the truth is that he doesn't like me,"

He rolled his eyes, "Rachel," He sighed disappointedly.

"What?"

He scoffed exasperatedly, "I'm not going through this with you again,"

I chuckled, "I know, I know, but I think we should keep going for a while, even if he doesn't like me," I shrugged.

He raised his eyebrow at me and smirked as if I was strange.

"What?" I frowned.

"Don't you even believe me a little bit?"

I bit my lip, "I'd believe you a little bit if I'd have seen even an ounce of jealousy,"

He shuffled over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug.

"How many times do I have to tell that he likes you for you to believe me?" He hummed in my ear.

"However many more times you can fit in between now and the time that I see jealousy,"

He groaned in frustration, "Rach, you do my head in sometimes,"

"I know I do but you do mine in too at times so we're even,"

He chuckled slightly, "Sweetheart, I know that you don't believe me but you have to know that I wouldn't lie to you about anything, I love you too much," He pulled back and looked at me, brushing a few stray hairs from my face.

"I love you too and I trust you with my life," I smiled, "But you have to understand that I need to see it for myself, it's not that I don't believe you,"

"I'm going to prove it to you, you know that right?"

I chuckled, "We'll see,"

Sebastien's P.O.V

As Rachel went up the stairs I plodded into the dining room where I saw Beth swing her bag over her shoulder.

"I'm going to work, love," She smiled at me, "I'll be back later on,"

I nodded, "I'll see you later,"

We shared a short kiss before she headed for the front door.

"I love you," She called.

"Love you too," I replied.

Hearing the front door close I looked down at my shirt and grimaced.

After going to talk to the cake person for our wedding, I'd slid past a cake on the way out and got icing all over me.

The shop assistant wasn't very happy about that but she remembered that I was paying her so she let it slide.

I crept up the stairs, not wanting to disturb Pierre and Rachel, before I went into my room and pulled off my shirt.

After changing, I headed back out onto the hallway.

As I passed Pierre's room I heard voices flowing through the ajar door.

"Rach, you do my head in sometimes," Pierre's voice held a large amount of frustration.

"I know I do but you do mine in too at times so we're even," Rachel's melodic voice replied. I could hear the playfulness in it.

Pierre laughed, "Sweetheart, I know that you don't believe me but you have to know that I wouldn't lie to you about anything, I love you too much,"

My heart collapsed and plummeted to my stomach.

And part of me was praying that she didn't say it back.

"I love you too and I trust you with my life," Rachel replied sincerely.

I felt sick and I walked away, unable to listen to anymore.

I trudged down the stairs and fell onto the couch, holding my face in my hands.

Two weeks. Two bloody weeks and they're saying 'I love you' to each other.

I can't believe that.

Why on earth do I care? It's their relationship; they can do whatever the hell they like.

These last two weeks really haven't been fantastic.

It's been so hard to watch how Pierre does the smallest thing and makes Rachel grin and laugh like I once did.

Sometimes I just wonder why the hell I lied to Pierre about not caring that they were dating.

And then I remember Beth.

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face as I thought of something.

I knew that I needed to get myself under control because sooner or later someone's going to click on that all my reactions to Pierre and Rachel are jealous ones.

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Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine
Why did I lie?
What did I walk away to find?

Blue- Breathe Easy

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