Saudade

“Come on Vera you have to get out of bed.” I can hear my mother as she sits on the edge of my bed.

“Please leave me alone.” I mumble making sure to keep my head covered with my sheets.

“Honey I know break ups are hard, but you need to...” she pauses and rubs my back “you need to get over it.”

“Mom please leave me alone.”

“Vera your dad and I love you very much but we don't think it's healthy for you to be laying in bed all day, you need some fresh air and you need to socialize, why don't you go out for lunch with some of your friends?”

“Because I don't want to, I just want to stay here in my bed. Alone.”

“Then that leaves us with no other option.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask worriedly, this time uncovering my myself and looking at my mom.

“We are going to kick you out.”

“Can't you see I'm emotionally distressed, you can't do that I'm your daughter.”

“Yes we know, but it's been a month and we told you to come back home because we thought it would benefit you, but Vera you're just rotting away in this bedroom and we can't let you do that.”

I look at my mom, and I could see from her face that she was being completely serious. If my parents did kick me out I would just go back to my old apartment and I would lay in that bed but the problem was that I didn't want to be in my old apartment. Mainly because all of my pictures with Andy were still up, some of his clothes were still in our-my closet and if I went back it would be like re-opening a deep cut.

“I wanna stay here,” I say as my lips quiver.

“Honey please don't cry.”

“Please don't kick me out.”

“If you don't leave this bed in three hours consider yourself kicked out.” She says and then kisses my forehead.

Tough love. That's what my mom thought I needed the most at this moment. And she was probably right.

I sit up and sigh as I look around my childhood bedroom. My parents hadn't bothered to change anything when I moved out right after High School, I guess they figured there would be a time when I would need to come back. I stand up and walk to my window and slide the curtains open but immediately regret it as the sun light blinds me.

“It's too early to be this bright.” I mumble and shut curtains.

I blink a couple of times to try to get my eyesight back.

I decide to just turn on my bedroom light.

Two hours later to my parents great delight I walk down the stairs, fresh out of the shower and wearing actual clothes instead of pajamas.

“You look ten times better already.” My dad beams as he sees me.

“Thanks,” I mumble and walk into the dining room, were my younger sister and brother were sitting down eating what appeared to be lunch.

“Oh look Dracula has decided to get out of their coffin.” My sister says in a mocking voice.

“Oh very funny,” I say as I roll my eyes.

I take a sit at the table.

“So are you going to finally move out?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Alice,” my mom says in a warning tone of voice as she walks out of the kitchen and brings me a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich and home made potato chips.

“I'm glad you got out of bed,” my mom tells me in a sweet voice and kisses the side of my head before heading back upstairs.

I glare at my younger sister, I had no idea what her problem was and why she seemed to hate so much.

“Are you going to move out any time soon?” I ask Alice with a smirk.

“As a matter of fact I am as soon as I turn eighteen and for good, I don't want to be a thirty year old living at my parents house.”

“I am not thirty I am twenty-six and this is just temporary.”

“A week is temporary a month is just sad.”

“Alice cut it out,” Jacob, Alice's twin tells her.

“I'm done eating anyways,” she says and stands up not even bothering to pick up her dirty plate.

“And Vera?”

“What?”

“I'm sorry that Andy finally realized that you weren't worth it.” She says with a grin and walks away before I can say anything back.

“She's just angry that mom and dad are paying more attention to you than her.” Jacob tells me trying to cheer me up.

“No, she's right. I am sad and pathetic and Andy deserves way better than me.”

“I don't think that's true.” Jacob tells me with a smile.

“Thanks.” I tell him as I stand up.

“You're not going to eat?”

“Not hungry, do you want it?”

“Only if you're really not hungry.”

I push the plate towards him and head back upstairs to my room. I pick up my cell phone from my night stand and turn it on for the first time this week. I get my purse and head out, suddenly the idea of getting some fresh air didn't seem like such a bad idea.

I get into my car and put my key in the ignition but don't turn the key. I pick up my phone and look at my text messages.

Please don't ignore my calls.

Why won't you answer me?

Are you mad at me? I don't know what I did.

I really hate you right now, but I still love you.

Please, please call me Vera.

I sigh as I look at all of Marie's messages and begin to feel like a horrible friend.

I'll call you tonight, k?

OMG finally! Yes. I'm glad you're not ignoring me anymore.

I sigh once more and go through my voice-mail, even though I knew they were all from Marie telling me to call her back and stop being such a caveman.

I get to the last voice-mail getting ready to delete it but then I hear his voice and I freeze.

'I know you probably hate me with all your guts and I don't blame you.' I hear Pete sigh. 'I just couldn't bare the thought of hurting Andy, which I know you can understand. I'm sorry that I messed it up, and I'm sorry about Andy but you were going to break up with him anyway so-' he sighs again unable to finish his sentence. 'I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and I should have told you earlier about Meagan. Please forgive me.'

“FUCK YOU!” I shout at my phone with angry tears.

“I was going to throw everything away for you, you asshole.” I throw my phone to the passenger seat and turn on the car. I was angry at Pete, I was angry at myself for falling for him.