Saudade

I drove aimlessly around LA trying to make my anger go away, but the more I drove around the angrier I get.

The more I wanted to punch Pete in the face.

How could I have been such a fool?

I couldn't believe that after four weeks he actually had the audacity to tell me he was sorry. If he had been sorry he wouldn't have let me go down like that.

This was his fault. His mess, and I was stuck with it.

Who was I kidding? It was my fault too. I fell for him, for his lies.

I thought I wanted to be with him, I thought I was in love with him but I wasn't. I was in love with the idea of sneaking around with him. The secrecy of it all.

I looked up just to see Pete looking at me from the other side of the room, I looked into his eyes unable to look away, there was something about the way he looked at me that made me weak, made me unaware of my surroundings.

“Vera?”

I blinked startled as I heard Andy calling my name.

“What?”

“I asked if you were ready to head out?” He asked with a questioning look on his face.

“Yeah let me just get some water.” I told him and kissed him on the cheek.

I walked to the empty kitchen and poured myself some water.

“Hey,”

I look up and smile at Pete, “hey yourself”

We stayed quiet for a few moments unable to look away from each other.

“It's rude to stare,” I finally say breaking eye contact.

“I can't help myself, you're just too beautiful to just look away.”

“Well you're going to have to try.”

“By the way you look at me I would have to assume that it's just as had for you to look away as it is for me.”

I couldn't help but to blush.

“Tell me, how does somebody get a girl like you?” He asked me as he stepped closer making butterflies appear in my stomach.

“It's not up to them.” I said with a grin and walked away.

I knock angrily on the door not really sure about what I was going to do or say, I just knew that I needed to see him.

“I'm coming,” I hear him call out but that only makes me pound on the door harder.

He opens the door and I can tell by his face that he was not expecting me to be here.

“Vera-”

And before he can finish speaking I slap him hard across the face.

“You deserve much worse than that,” I say angrily.

“Yes I know.” He says as he touches his cheek.

“Why?” I ask him with angry tears.

“Vera, please”

“What? Is this not a good time for you? Because from what I remember any time was good enough for you”

“Vera-”

“No! Tell me why!? Why did you throw me under the bus like that?”

“Because if it wasn't you it was going to be me.”

“Oh so typical of Pete to look out for himself.”

“Don't act like it was all my fault Vera, because we both know it was also your fault.”

“And I know that! I'm living with the consequences!” I shout angrily.

“Are you?” I ask him poking him in the chest.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't give me any of that bullshit Pete, if you were sorry you would have told Andy the truth.”

“Is this really about Andy?”

“What?”

“For fuck's sake Vera you were going to break up with him, are you really that angry that he ended things with you? Or are you just angry that you didn't get your way?”

“I loved him!”

“Don't make me laugh, if you had you wouldn't have cheated on him.”

“I was just stupid to think I loved you more.”

“No you were stupid enough to believe I loved you at all.”

“I guess I was.”

“Vera,” he sighs.

“You know what Pete? I forgive you and I hope she can forgive you when she finds out about us, and the fact that you have been unfaithful to her since the day you met her.”

“You wouldn't dare.”

“Really? Tell me Pete, why wouldn't I?”

“It's not like I have anything to lose.” I tell him with a grin and walk away from his front door.